Hanging up the Sneakers

Hello and Happy Friday!!  Tis a gorgeous day here in Upstate New York (NO SNOW!  Hey, that counts)  If I can just get through the afternoon, its smooth sailing for a great weekend.  I almost feel like I've been at work since last Monday with the trip over the weekend...it was fun, but boy am i TIRED! And I am so ready for the weekend!!

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So, during this crazy crazy week, I decided to take a few minutes to reflect on my race goals for 2011...I wanted to wait to post so I could be thoughtful and not come to any rash decisions.  Here goes....

After the National Marathon, I think I have come away with a new perspective of endurance training.  I trained for months and months to meet a goal, and even though I PRed, I still didn't get my sub 4.  That was rough.  I immediately wanted to sign up for another marathon to redeem myself, but I wasn't sure if that was smart considering my other goals....or if I was doing it on a whim. Did I really want to run another marathon?

But then I got to thinking.  What if I train really hard for the Musselman and don't get the result I want to?  Or Chesman?  It seems like alot of pressure.  I know that I don't have to post my goals on my blog, but I like to keep myself accountable and have a source of inspiration in order to work toward my goal!  And that didn't happen.

I guess I am sort of disillusioned by the whole thing.  After I completed Ironman, all of my neighbors were so proud of me (my sister posted a really sweet welcome home sign in my yard...yay!)  but this one guy, walking down the road, stopped my next door neighbor and asked if I won the race.  He replied, no, but look at this feat!  The guy shrugged his shoulders and said. "I don't see what the big deal is" and walked away.  Ouch.  I put that silly guy out of my mind at the time, but now his words come back to haunt me.  If I can't win, why am I spending hundreds of dollars and hours to do this?  I can't even place in my age group in a marathon or ironman!  Sheesh.

I know most people don't understand that.  But it bugs me.

So....here goes. (deep breath)

 Even though I signed up for Musselman, I think I am going to drop this for awhile.  I will see if I can be part of the day somehow, but I don't think I am going to race. It's just too much. 

I have some time to think about it this week, so I don't come to any rash decisions. But for now, I am hanging up my sneakers.  Thanks to everyone for your support for my races and listening to my training drivel-I really appreciate it!!  I also promise not to be a "bitter brenda" going forward....I ook forward to hearing about everyones races and training...I just don't think its for me anymore. 

WHEW!  Talk about a weight being lifted off my shoulders.  Thanks for listening, all!  So now the question becomes...what do I do with my free time??