Saturday, January 22, 2022

Welcome to the Jungle: Tips on How (not) to Execute an FTP Test

Hello all you cool cats and kittens!  Checking in at the end of recovery week with what was intended to be a nice post on the importance of that whole balancing act....work hard, rest hard, blah blah blah.  All the neat stuff you read in those inspiring blogs and articles about ya know, how to be a great triathlete.

Who are we kidding?

Welcome to the Jungle Baby - we got fun and games!

Much like the Guns N Roses song, this week got worse day by day.  We had a six-figure work crisis, a call to 911, some good ole fashioned personal attacks against my character, and broken furnace.  (I should note everyone is technically okay after all this, but if there was ever a week to bust open the bottle of 4 Roses...and finish it.... this was it.  Sadly, I remained sober through all of it.  Score?).

Needless to say, I actually had some legit, life forced workout recovery this week!  Four easy swims, three easy runs (and some help setting a decent recovery pace, thanks to The Boy!) and two bikes (as of tomorrow).

This morning, I had the dreaded FTP test on tap.  Why?  I don't freaking know. As I am now the boss of me as my own coach, when I pulled out the ole Rae made training plan, I had no one to blame but myself.  I hate these tests.  I never execute them well.  They are never a great factor of what I can do.  But I figured since my last one was back in June 2021...in a rainstorm....while being forced to ride in aero....(I am not bitter about this, at all) that it would be good to establish a baseline.  Or some sort of bullshit like that.

In case you aren't aware of the joys of an FTP (functional threshold power) test, it's basically an indicator of what kind of power you can expect to hold for an hour at your highest sustained effort.  There are several ways to execute the test - a ramp test, where your power increases incrementally until you can no longer hold it, a 20-minute balls out effort you multiply by a factor of .95, or two 8-minute tests separated by a ten-minute recovery that you combine and multiply by a factor of .9.  Since I'm a little wussy expedient, I opted for the last option.  

With my fabulous attitude in place, I set out early this morning to execute said test.  And I feel it necessary to pass on a few helpful tips to those looking to get a (much better) result than I did.  So what's the best way to approach this beast?  Read on....

1. Be well rested.  Most athletes know when they are naturally at their peak for the day - some of us workout in the morning, some do better in the afternoon.  For optimal results, its best to attack the test after a good night's rest and at the time you know you perform the best.  Or, in my case, hit it up after a night punctuated by a broken furnace, lack of heat when its -3 out, and kids waking up at o dark thirty.  I suspect I had about 3 hours sleep, which is perfect rest for a best effort!

2.  Eat an easily digestible breakfast at least two hours before the test - you want to be fueled, but not have anything that's tough for your stomach to handle.  A bagel, granola bar and banana, or similar are great choices - or you could take my route and have the last slice of white pizza with a side of extra grease, eaten standing up at midnight the night before.  (A carbs a carb....uh, no its not).

3.  Hydrate.  This is a hard effort.  Coffee while doing your warm up is....um....a liquid.  (WTF is wrong with me).

4.  You might lose your cookies at some point during this ride.  Have a garbage can nearby.  Six feet is not.... nearby unless you're great at projectile vomiting.  I'm...not. This is totally hypothetical, of course.

5.  Have a realistic goal.  If it's your base test for the year, you probably are coming right into the season and it's wise to shoot for your current FTP or within 2% either way.  Or you can pick a completely unrealistic number, hit the gas too hard for the first 4 minutes of the first half, and slowly die into a puddle of nothingness for the rest of the test.  It's totally up to you and if you ask me which option, I picked.... I totally take the fifth.  (See what I did there?)

6.  Start out conservatively and get stronger as you go.  I use Trainer Road and it guides me to hit wattage that's equal to my current FTP.  Starting there and increasing your power through the segment is a great way to finish strong and hit your desired result.  (Do I even need to explain what I did?  Fine.  Or you can hit 110% of the workout power in a fit of ego and suffer the consequences.  Why do you people even read this crap??)

7.  Have some damn good music to rev you up.  Right now I'm cranking out Pitbull, Skrxlla, or any type of hype you up music.  Not....Billy Ocean.  Five minutes into the test, my mix flipped and I was Suddenly NOT having a great time.  OMG.

8.  If you're not into music, I'm a huge fan of any type of motivational images or videos - personally I rock out to any Lionel Sanders (this video is hands down motivation station) or one of my local heroes (no matter how much I tease him, this guy got my butt in motion when I needed it most and I still look up to him for quite a bit). Alternatively, you could hit the wrong YouTube vid and end up looking at Life hacks saved courtesy of your six-year-old.  I'm super glad I now know how to color my hair with koolaid.  Possibly at this point in time I screamed up the stairs for Greg to man the pantry.  Well played, Biz.

9.  Make sure your Equipment is working (part 1).  I have a Tacx trainer that does me well most of the time.  As I went into the second set of testing, the erg mode froze, and I ended up spinning out and averaging 130 watts for the first 45 seconds of the 8-minute test.  Needless to say, when your goal is 237 watts, that's a big deal.  After cursing loudly at it, "smart trainer" got the message and kicked back in.  For cripes sake.

10.  Make sure your bike seat is...um...strapped in.  Apparently, I had a loose seat post clamp, which was news to me until the last 45 seconds of the test when it slipped and I ended up standing for the rest...it helped my power, sure, but that garbage can would have been nice to have nearby (kidding - I kept it in).

Oddly enough, when accounting for the first minute of test 2, with all that crap, I tested 5% higher than my current FTP.  I can't hate at that.  I'm a little bummed, as I always am with these tests, but even without factoring in any new data, it's a good old-fashioned ass kicking and a great baseline for your season.

Post-test, relax a bit and try to recover with some good nutrition and a rest.  Oh, who am I kidding - I'm a mom with two littles.  I grabbed coffee cup #2, a larabar, a quick shower, and threw on my swimsuit.  The kids wanted to go to the pool and we were off for Saturday fun. Swimming is good, uh, recovery, yes?  I'll just leave you with an image of the suit I wore.

And that's how we roll.  Square wheels and all.  You're in the jungle, baby!

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