IMTX: Post Race/Lessons Learned

Alright, where were we?  In the vein of "when the hell will this freaking race report EVER end - rest assured.  This is it.  This is the true navel gaze post - we have already run through the day's swim, bike and run - and now its time for what happened next!

Aside from the fact that I was in total disbelief about my time, post race I just walked around like a
zombie (a really freaking happy one!).  I called my coach and one of my best friends and responded to all the awesome congrats messages (you guys ROCK - THANK YOU for all your love and tracking on race day!).  We grabbed my bike and crap, and headed to the post race tent for some food - which I totally could not eat.  No shocker.  I was totally spent and quite honestly, a mess - but a happy mess! There weas zero doubt I left it all out there on that run course, and that was the goal!

We headed back to the Air BNB for a shower and clean up, and then we passed out hit up the country bar.  What???  I didn't stutter.  There was this awesome looking bar in downtown Houston I was dying to go to, and I promised myself that if I could walk - I would go!  Confession - I am a huge fan of line dancing, and basically any kind of dancing.  What other time to go than post 11 hour race???? (We call this celebratory - and also - Rae is an idiot.  But you knew that).

Honestly, it was a blast.  I jumped in and tried some new dances, and then saw - they had a bull.  OMG.  I have never ridden one, and in the midst of bad decisions, I decided to give it a go!!  I lasted 64 seconds and honestly - once I got on, the realization that the only way off was to fall off was the worst part.  It was a great night and I regret zero of it.  At the end of the day, its all about fun, am I right??

The next morning I was up at stupid o clock (I can never sleep after these things) and started packing up and pulling things together.  The awards banquet was at 11 - and I was kind of unsure if I wanted to go.  It was such a weird feeling - I was so jazzed about my time, and any other year it would have netted me at least top 10.  But with an 18th place finish out of 99 women - I just wasn't sure.  Early odds predicted that there would be about 15 Kona slots (remember this was a championship race) - and this race was perfectly situated for people to accept their slots.  It was 6 months out from Hawaii (perfect timing), an early season race, and clearly everyone had the same mindset.  What the hell - I could take a few hours to have some lunch and cross my fingers!

The ceremony was pretty awesome - if a bit lengthy!  We got to see all the winners, the previous days video, and all the AG winners.  They did World slots for the men first - which took FOREVER - it will be interesting to see how this Nice Worlds goes, but from what I saw, basically, if you wanted in, you were in.

The women- were different.  They started with the oldest AGs and these women were FREAKING fast.  The slowest woman in the 55-59 AG that got a spot finished in...12:30.  Holy moly.  They also - weren't rolling at all.  There was one spot that rolled down in the AG in the 50s and that was it.  I was so nervous.  When we got to my AG there were 16 slots and my heart was totally in my throat.  First place took her slot.  Second place....was last years Kona AG winner and already had a slot.  OMG.  Third place (former pro)....had a slot from qualifying at Arizona 2022.  AND HOLY SHIT..... I WAS IN!!  I'll be honest, everything else was a freaking blur.  When my name was called, I squealed and accepted in a heartbeat!!  I later found out it rolled one more in my AG - and the last woman accepted finished in 11:16.  So I qualified with 5 minutes to spare.  You guys - never in my wildest dreams did I think this would happen.  And the time I needed... still baffles me. Honestly - if you told me I needed an 11:15 to qualify back in August, I never would have signed up.  Facts.  Sometimes what you DONT know really is key!  IT'S HAWAII TIME BABY!

The past few weeks have been a return to normal.  We drove the 23 hours home (that was super fun!) and since I got home, I have had the most wonderful friends and family celebrate with me.  Rob told the whole school and my neighbor Kelly told the whole town, so apparently anyone that wants in on October 14, I'm just renting the Island :-P Come party with us LOL!

Its surreal.  The past few weeks I have ditched formal training and am now just easing back into it - I have a few mid season races then its time for the big dance!

There are ways to improve, and I can pin point them easily.  I struggled a little bit on the bike because it was such an early season race - I didnt get a lot of outdoor rides in - and I dont ride in aero on the trainer.  I gave up some time because I had to shift in and out of aero the last half because my neck hurt a ton.  This will change as the season progresses - I froze my zwift account and only ride outdoors from May-November (sorry coach). 

The heat was also a factor - we had a few warm days in NY, but for all intents and purposes I went from 40 degrees to mid 80s.  I think I handled this pretty well, but post race it absolutely slayed me and I felt like crap for quite awhile, 

I also only hit open water swimming twice - for short amounts.  The swim didnt bother me, but my new resolution going forward is to...uh...learn how to swim.  After 15 years its about time.  I can motor through this segment but I leave a decent amount of time on the table due to shitty form.  Luckily, I have a friend at the Y who is willing to laugh at me and also help my technique (in that order, duh) and since he's a legit former D1 swimmer...and a fun dude... we listen to him.  I also have another friend who offered to give me lessons - I've sent him a video for feedback, and there was plenty (suffice to say it was NOT an ego boost lol).  Swimmer Dude also knows what he's doing - he coaches and is also former D1 so I have plenty of support (and apparently, plenty of "Dudes" in my life that tell me what to do - you guys are the best. Truly.). 

Overall though, I am really pleased with this race - I would be anyways - and the fact that its only April makes me even more excited for the rest of the season.

The whole Kona goal...was a ridiculous moonshot.  If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have laughed at you.  And then - I gave it my best shot.  My all. The past 4 months have not always been easy, but they have been laser focused on a goal, and when things went wrong, remembering the goal, having a back up plan, and having the belief that it could be done was key.

I couldn't have ever done it without my amazing support team, and I thank every single one of you.  You know who you are.  And if you don't....yep, you're on the list.  I'm blown away by the love and help I got this time around - and.....I wish I could just charter a jet for us to all go on vacation.  I'm working on that lotto dream, stay tuned. It would help if I played, wouldn't it?

I have no deep secret success tips for this one.  I was lucky enough to have so many things fall into place race day - which is never a given.  I trusted the plan my coach gave me, and when I had questions, he answered them.  He gave me guidance and support and a kick in the ass when I needed it.  On my end, I did the work.  The early mornings, late nights, snowing runs, and juggling work, family and life in between.  It was incredibly hard, and incredibly worth it.  I'll be glad to play for a bit and then focus back on long course with the goal of HAVING FUN in Hawaii - though don't I always do that?

Stay tuned for the road to Kona - its gonna be wild, crazy, and I hope - amusing :)

IMTX Run: Livin' on the Edge

Where were we?  Oh right, In installment 3 of the longest race report ever (I'm almost done, folks, you can only milk it so far).  So far, we had a pretty solid, snakey swim, a decent bike, and now it was time to RUN!

Weird fact - even though the run is my forte, I have never been able to pull together a solid Ironman effort.  Jury is still out why - I suspect that for the first 3, I sucked so bad on the bike that I had nothing left.  As for Des Moines, well, I'm gonna just blame it on the weather - though Texas wasn't a ton cooler!

No mind, I dismounted my bike and had to sweet talk a vollie to take it (guys, I didnt pee on it, I swear, and thats a problem!) With that done, I sailed into T2 and grabbed my bag, dumping it out to run prep.  I was graced with a vollie to help (YES!!) and I put her to work slathering me with sunscreen.  I had decided to ditch the jersey for the run and do my sports bra and tri shorts, which had plenty of pockets for gels.  Again, I was efficient, but the lack of peeing on the bike caught up with me and I had to double back to the porta potties by the bikes for a pit stop.  T2 time - 7 minutes, for an elapsed time of 7:20.  My real goal for the race was an 11:30 - I tried to break 12 last year, and that was acceptable, but I felt pretty confident with my training that if I could execute well, that an 11:30 was possible.  Goal for the marathon - 4:00 (well, 3:59:59 LOL).  

My instructions out of the gate were to start mid 8s and stay in zone 1.  I saw Greg, who told me I was in 34th place in my AG and 39 minutes behind 10th place.  I spent a good ten minutes convincing myself I misheard him - WTF was this?  With the Kona spread, I knew there would be anywhere from 14-16 slots in my age group, and wanted to run into 10th place if I could.  I knew I would be coming out of the bike further down, but I was not expecting this far down....  Apparently the elite world had shown up to race - and it was go time!  Pre race, I had four scenarios in my head about this Kona goal....

A quick tutorial - when trying to Boston qualify, for the marathon, you need to run a time based on your age - mine was 3:39.  It doesn't matter the weather, terrain, etc., the time is the goal.  So going into Philly, I knew exactly what I needed to do.  Snow, rain, tsunami - cross the line in 3:39 or better.  Check.  

For Kona, its all based on who shows up.  There are a certain number of slots allocated to each age group, and if you finish within those slots, you get to go.  For IMTX the last few years, a sub 12 would have done it with the slots they allocated for 2023 - which was a championship race.  Championship is usually a loose term - you don't need to qualify to race TX - but apparently, every elite woman had the same thought I had - and raced Texas!  (I later found out there were 3 former pros, the 40-44 AG winner for Kona 2022, number two ranked 40-44 amateur in the US and a few more bad ass women that have won 70.3s in my AG).  So, it was crazy competitive - and if I wanted in, I would have to give it my all!

My four scenarios were this -  I would have a fabulous PR and Kona Qualify (YAY!), I would have a fabulous PR and NOT Kona Qualify (this would be great but also a little let down), I would have a non PR and Kona Qualify (again, some weird feels here) or the worst - a poor race and no KQ.

I was prepared to handle any scenario and the be all end all was to just do my best and run my own race, leaving no regrets out there.  If I thought too hard about it, 39 minutes for a 26.2 mile run was ridiculous to overcome.  And at mile 3, as I digested this, I hit a low spot.  My first two miles were low 8s, and the 3rd mile, the sun hit and my emotions hit.  It was not good.  I was tired.  Why was I trying?  Who cared about this - if I ran a 4:10, I would beat my goal.  If I ran a 4:40 (my de rigeur) I would still go sub 12.  That was good enough.

HOLD THE FUCK UP Rae.  This was NOT what we came to do.  And again, I thought of my coach, who reminded me that I had NO idea what people ahead of me were doing, or what kind of race they were having.  Why was I making assumptions?  Do I throw in the towel?  NO!  I did a body scan and realized I was a little tired so I took the marathon fix it - coke.  Yep, a few sips of caffeine did the trick (and I continued doing this every other mile for the rest of the race).  I also turned off my run time and put my watch on HR - with the goal to stay in zone 1 until mile 23, and not get caught up in the minutiae of pace.  This works two ways - I wanted to not overcook, but also a rational metric to assure myself that if I was tired but my HR was in the right spot, it was mental. And on we went.

The rest of lap one was smooth sailing, miles clocked between 8:30-8:45 and Greg told me I had moved up to 27th and that everyone ahead of me was running high 9s.  Sweet.  I didn't get too much in my head about the math, I just kept at what I was doing - half mile run, quick walk break up the hill, half mile run, quick aid station ice and water and every other a half gel and coke.  Perfect.  As I passed several people, I had no idea who was in my AG (man do I miss body marking!) so I just kept my pace steady and reminded myself what the goal was.  About mile 12, I passed a bunch of residential neighborhoods with the best crowds - a lot of people told me I looked great and that my form and stride were awesome (I love it when people lie to me 9 hours into an event!)  Hit mile 13.1 in 1:54 and change and felt good about this 11:30 goal - I was tired but not dead in the slightest, and the combo I had of run/walk and nutrition was working well, so we keep at it!  

I had another slight moment around mile 15, when I saw Greg and he told me I was still about 20 minutes back, but that I was in 23rd place.   At this point in time I passed Kyle, who was having a tough day due to an injury flare up, but still smiling. I saw Greg again at mile 16 and stopped for a hello, and a minute later Kyle ran by and yelled OMG Rae Run!  So we ran together for a bit.  I was still feeling good but laughing a bit about how I was having a banner day - but that it wouldn't even matter because every fast woman 40-44 had showed up.  I again tuned into my coach's words - How bad do you want this?  Pretty damned bad.  And with 10 miles to go, I knew I was gonna give it hell and go down swinging with all I had.  At the start of lap 3, I was in 21st place and Greg told me everyone ahead of me was blowing up and to GO!  True words?  who knew but they worked. 

The rest of lap 3 was kind of a blur - as I moved on to mile 20, I knew I could go 11:15.  Totally surreal. I still felt strong, though!  By mile 22, I knew I could go under 11:15...OMG.  With 5k to go, I wound up and just gave it all I had, and the last two miles were kind of a blur (in a sexy, sub 8 way LOL).  I changed my watch to overall time and saw 11:10 as a thing....and then the actual finish line (which was off of an uphill because of those sadistic Texas f*ckers). 

....I was totally and completely beyond comprehension.  I ran through the finish, my hands pumped, and post race completely collapsed in a fit of sheer disbelief.  My total run time was a 3:50, with a 1:56 second half (HOLY SHIT, almost freaking even split an IRONMAN MARATHON), and a 54 freaking minute run PR for a total time of 11:10 - an hour and 8 minute Ironman PR, baby!

And ironically, 18th place in my AG, out of 87.  Wow.  I knew in my heart there would not be a Kona spot for me, but like one of my goals - the feeling was still unreal.  I had absolutely shattered any goal I had, and was completely and utterly comforted in the fact that I 100% laid it all out there with everything I had.  

And that, was Ironman Texas.  Since this post is, of course, getting long, I'll save the post race shenanigans and lessons learned for part 4 of this years long saga.  Stay tuned!

IMTX Bike: What it Takes

And its time for part two of Ironman Texas recap - the bike!  Thanks for your kind words on part 1 - you never know if this navel gazing induces huge eye rolls or legit interest, but for everyone that wants to follow the story, I'm grateful for it.  As a side note, I write these race reports for a few reasons - one, to relive the day, two - to help future Rae and anyone else help learn from my mistakes (there are plenty!) and three - to help anyone racing the particular race learn from the course and my recounts.  End aside - where were we?  Oh yes - about to mount the bike!

As I ran into the change tent, I was amazingly efficient for an Ironman - my swim was a few minutes slower than I wanted (but within the range of 1:10-1:15 so all good) and so I wanted to MOVE!  Ironman transitions are a bit slower than your typical tri - you grab a bag with all your bike stuff, head to a change tent, and move like a Nascar pit crew.  Sometimes you get a volunteer to help, sometimes you fly solo - and for this one, I flew solo.  No mind.  I put on my bike shoes, helmet ( yes, THE RIGHT WAY - check!) glasses, and stuffed my jersey with my gels, slim jims and paydays - and was off to grab my bike!  Again, the beauty of my AWA racking meant I had much less further to run with my bike, which was an amazing perk.  I grabbed Felix (that's my main man, my bike, and I love him, even though he was being difficult pre race) and we were off!  ...well....kinda.  As anyone knows, I am not the most graceful gazelle with my bike, and NO, I did not fall down.  Hit power up on my bike computer and lost control of the steering and almost knocked the bike over as I ran to the mount line (stay classy, Rae) - and of course, the amassing crowd was all there to witness my idiocy impressive bike save.  There was a gasp (I am not kidding lol) and I yelled out - I got it,  I'm good!! (which says a lot) and everyone laughed. I mounted my bike and was off for a cool 3 minute T1 - which was awesome!

The bike course was made up of 3 main parts - 20 miles around town to get to the Hardy Toll Rd - then two out and backs of Hardy (20ish miles each) and then the final 10 or so coming back.  The course was pretty flat (I got 2,200 ish ft gain total) but was wide open to the elements - both the sun and wind.  Race day temps hit the low 80s, which is not bad for Texas, but I knew it was gonna be a hot bike and would need to stay on my nutrition.  One of the big changes that Mean Dude implemented (we are gonna talk alot about him for the bike and run recap) was to beef up my bike nutrition - I was not eating or drinking nearly enough.  Sweat test prescribed 40 oz of liquid per hour, which sounds like A TON but in the heat, it was key.  I also ate 400ish calories an hour on the bike, which, compared to last Ironman, was twice the amount.  To get in the 2000ish cals I needed, I had Skratch Super fuel (1200 cals), 4 gels (400), 2 pay days and two slim jims - to break up the flavor and get a little salty (thats what she said).  I took in salt every half hour, and ate on the hour, while sipping skratch every ten minutes, and grabbing a new water bottle every 20 miles or so. Check.

The first 20 miles or so were pretty sweet, effort wise - I got my HR right in zone 1, and settled in as
best I could - there were a lot of turns in the beginning, but easy to navigate as long as you sat up and paid attention.  I saw my friend Linz about 6 miles into the bike and yelled out a big hello, and my other Rochester friend Kyle passed me about mile 17 and we did a verbal high five - he looked awesome!  At mile 20, I was averaging about 19.5, and my A goal for the bike was 5:45, so I was right on target.

Then I tunred onto Hardy Toll Rd. (BTW - Actual signage on the course to the left) and was hit in the face with wind!!  The Hardy Toll Rd ran North/South, and past race history proved again this year, it meant a headwind for miles 20-40. (and 60-80). The road also boasted no shade whatsoever and a few crazy overpasses that weren't hard climbs, but windy AF.  It also featured some cool cross road names like "Riley Fuzzel Rd" which was hilarious to me two hours into a race (ok fine, I would laugh anytime.) 

 I knew logically that miles 20-40 were gonna be tough.  My speed slowed dramatically - and the rational part of me knew that when I turned around, I should get some free speed.  But, as I will always say - Ironman is mental.  (And for the mentally insane).  Your mind will tell you "No" way before your body does.  And at mile 30 of the bike - I hit a low.  I was mad.  I was tired.  I didn't want to.  And 3 hours into an event that can take 12 plus hours to do - is NOT where you want this.  Then I remembered some of the strategies Mean Dude and I talked about - when I felt like this, it was either nutrition or pacing issue. I knew my effort was good, but the mph was messing with me, so I switched my bike computer to just read power.  I also knew I had a caffeinated gel in my bento, so I took that for an energy hit.  Worked like a charm.  The next ten miles were not the most fun, but I was back out of my own head and ready to rock! YES!

Which I did at the turnaround, going from about 16-17mph to a cool 22-23mph with little effort.  WHEEEE!!!  I was racing trains as they took off in the median (thankfully those little suckers never crossed over and made me stop) and was loving every second.  I accidentally swallowed my gum, and grabbed my spare piece out of my jersey, which would not come out of the foil.  Hell.  I tried to dislodge it with my teeth and ended up with some lovely mint aluminum foil gum.  (Foil DOES NOT taste good but hey, its Ironman!). 

 About mile 60, we turned back and were headed for more headwind.   This time I was ready - I knew to focus on power and get through the next hour or so.  The winds had picked up to about 20mph, but I distracted myself by playing leapfrog with a dude in front of me - I would pass him climbing and he would pass me on the flats.  My form fell apart a bit here - since I hadnt ridden outside a ton, aero was a little harder to hold here, and I also knew that I was getting hot.  The wind messed with my nutrition a bit, and when I looked down, I saw salt tracks on my arms. Shit.  Not good. I was almost four hours in and hadn't peed since the swim (sorry guys), which was not good, so I took in a few more salt tabs and grabbed a bottle at the next hand off (these were not super easy to navigate - it was really congested, but I knew I needed them, even if it slowed me down).  As I dumped my bottle into my aero mount, I hit a snare in the road where there was a perpendicular crack, and my wheel got caught.  FUDDDDGGGEEE.  Thankfully it squeaked out and I stayed upright, and other than a minor freak out about wheel damage, I was good to go (there were a ton of crashes due to these - I paid attention but had missed this one due to fiddling with nutrition.  lesson learned). 

The next hour or so was uneventful, save for me and leap frog dude, who had "On Pace" written on the butt of his kit, which made me giggle.  We would chat every time we passed each other, and I made a joke out of staring at his butt (he was in the 50-54 AG, I later found out, so score one for the dude getting teased by the younger woman, and check off my requisite dude in his 50s I hang with for a portion of a race.  Thanks #1779!).  Whatever the reason, it made those painful 20 miles go by much easier, and at mile 82, we flew back again toward transition!  Those 20 miles felt awesome, and I spun out, fueled, and tried to pee again with no luck (dammit).  At mile 102, we pulled a u-ey and headed back toward home, and for approximately 30 seconds of the 112 miles, rode through shade (it does exist in Texas!)  Looking down at my data, which I reverted back to time, it looked like I could pull a 5:50ish bike split, which was great with me!

The last ten miles were uneventful - more turns, a few grumpy gung ho men passing on the turns (thanks guys) and a few leapfrogs, but mostly just sucking in the rest of my skratch and spinning out for the marathon ahead!  I finished the 112.1 miles in 5:52, for a 19.1 average, (a nine minute Ironman PR)  and was off to T2 to RUN!!

IMTX: Pre Race/Swim - Beautiful Day

Well, it's a week out, and life is finally starting to get back to "normal".  I'm not sure what to call that since, honestly, none of what happened last weekend has really sunk in and its been completely surreal -  in terms of the race, the support, the post race events, and being back home.  Nonetheless, I'm back, walking "relatively well", and ready to share the nitty gritty! This will be a 3-parter, because who can tell an Ironman in one blog post (this is for you, Barry).  So, for all the rest of you that enjoy my navel gazing (you do too, Barry :-P), lets kick it off with a little pre race/swim story!

So, as many of you know, the week leading up to departure was quite frankly, a shit show.  My bike didn't work, travel plans were up in the air, and I second guessed everything, including even racing (I'll always admit it when I fumble).  Of course, as life normally does, some of this shook out and some did not.  With two days to go, I had my sherpa lined up and it was Greg - which was awesome, because if anyone gets Ironman, he does.  My bike was playing nice, I had a great send off to the party on my last swim (I have the best friends), and all travel plans were falling into place - thank goodness.  The drive down to Texas was uneventful, save for our Air Bnb Cancelling about 800 miles into the trip at 9pm - for the next night (OMG), so I guess it was...eventful!  This was pretty horrific, and after the initial freak out, I reminded myself that Ironman was fraught with this stuff  - the unexpected- and got out my fix it box.  We ended up with a place to stay that was affordable, and about 15 minutes away from the race, which was not the ideal half mile from the finish I booked 8 months ago, but absolutely much better than it could have been.

The pre race days featured all the fun it usually is - getting acclimated from mid 40s weather to mid 80s with humidity (yay for early season races!), shaking out some last minute bike shit (my bike seems to have a thing for the small chain ring ALL the time - this dude and I are gonna have to talk or it will not work out) and the usual array of things you need to do pre race.  Check in was awesome - apparently my AWA status lent me "super privileges" with a no line check in (I felt like a douche, tbh) a low number - which was also a cool number - 247 - 24/7 baby! I never thought that would matter but with it came awesome racking - right behind the pros - so it was much less to run with my bike.  I'm still not sure I'm cool enough to be AWA, but if they are fooled, I'm gonna roll with it.

I met some new besties at check in - Lynne from Ohio, who was there with her husband working on her legacy qualifier to do Kona in 2023, and Lisa from Texas, who raced Iowa last year - and we had fun commiserating on that race!  We all went to the briefing together, the pre race banquet, and were racked next to each other - which was awesome!  Both women were super sweet and we are now bonded via text and social media forever, as most race friendships go - and I love it.

The day before the race I did a dip in the lake  - which was about as gross as advertised, but hey, I swam in the Hudson, so who am I to talk -  and fixed the damned bike again, which was giving me shit.  At this point, the race nerves had subsided and I was starting to question how I was going to do anything fast or long the next day, which is about normal at this point, but still, always a mind job.  I had been pretty vocal about this whole Kona goal (which even netted me a spot on the Ironman video - woot!) but not many people knew my time goals - I was hoping at least for a sub 12, which would have easily gotten me to Kona from last years results.  My real goal was an 11:30, where I could make the math work  - a 1:10-1:15 swim, 5:45-5:55 bike, 4:00 hour run, and fifteen minutes for transitions.  This worked out to about 11:15-11:25, with fudge factor.  The numbers looked UNREAL to me, but Mean Dude was on board with all of them, and predicted a faster swim to boot. 

I racked my bike early, got my stuff together, and got my feet up  - I had slept like crap the last few days due to travel, etc. and was passed out by 7pm. The amount of love I got the night before blew me away - I'm not sure if it was the story telling I have done so far, my public announcement of these "big scary goals" (oh yeah I went there), or the fact that I might have self depreciating humor nailed - but man, you guys are amazing.  I have said it before and I'll say it again - the support I have had for this race from my friends and in general has blown me away - and I am so grateful for it.  I fell asleep with a smile on my face and woke up, full of nervous energy at 2:30am.

Since my alarm was set for 3am, there was little point in going back to sleep.  I started out with the BEST part of my day - REAL. FREAKING. COFFEE.  OMG.  Heaven in a cup. ITS NOT DECAF!!  LOL.  I was strangely calm the morning of - went through my pre race routine with plenty of time to spare.  The beauty of Ironman is that you are constantly re packing yourself into a smaller box - you start out at home with everything you need to pack for the day, which is a shit ton.  Then you usually travel where you need lodging - so everything you need goes in a car (if you're me) or a plane (if you're sane).  Then you do bag and bike check in the day before - so anything that isn't nutrition or electronics is already at the venue.  Race morning, you top off your electronics, mix your nutrition, and don your kit.  I was already sunscreened up, aquaphored up, and ready to test out my new Raise kit - and by 4:30, we were out the door and ready to go!

Pre race, I topped off my tires, rented out my bike pump for $5 per person and made a million dollars lent my bike pump to a bunch of athletes, added my electronics and nutrition to my bike, and was ready to go!  Lynne and Lisa and I hammed it up for the camera, and we went off in search of Joel, Lisa's husband, to make our trek to the swim start.  I paid special attention to topping off my breakfast, smiled at the early morning texts I got (at 5am on a Saturday, you guys are troopers!) and before I knew it, it was time to head to the corrals.  Greg wished me luck and went off to do his sherpa thing - he planned to watch the swim, go home for the bike (a wise move!) then cheer me on for the run!  

I lined up with the 1:00-1:10 swimmers, per Mean Dude - the water was 72, wetsuit legal, which never happens for Texas!  The day was forecasted to be low 80s, with wind on the bike, but nowhere near last year (it got up to about 20mph, but that's a bike story).  Again, I was pretty calm.  It didn't seem real.  My training was solid - but with the edges of taper, as well as the life craziness it brought, the bulk of the training seemed to be such a distant memory.  Was I ready?  Could I do this?  Time would tell. 

 As I took a deep breath, U2's "Beautiful Day" came over the speakers, and I smiled.  It was going to be such a beautiful day - and I was going to spend it doing everything I loved.  How lucky was I?  All the shit leading up to the race - the early mornings, the cold, the heartache, the pain - it was all worth it.  The smiles and friendships and cheering made it worth it.  The ability to move my body and smile as I took in some amazing sights - this was worth it.  I freaking LOVE this sport and the journey was absolutely worth every single second. I smiled about the last year - and how much it has brought me - again, if you told me I was legit vying for a Kona slot even a year ago, I would have laughed at you.  Life is wild, messy, unpredictable and absolutely amazing. Today was THE day.  To give it everything I had and see what happened!  With a smile, I moved forward in the queue, and ran into the water, ready to play triathlon!!

The first mile or so was pretty uneventful, as I got into a comfortable rhythm.  I had seeded myself well, and while I couldn't find feet to follow, I wasn't fighting with anyone either.  I breathed deeply, took it easy, and reminded myself to burn no matches on the swim.  This changed as we turned the first corner and the sun was in our face - there were no real waves, but the swim back to the canal was a little bit tougher as it seemed we had a slight current on the way out.  I got into the scrum a bit here, as people were getting congested, and there was a decent amount of physical contact.  One dude got super personal with me (he never even gave me his number, the bastard) and as I worked my way to the outside, I got kicked square in the face and my goggles came off.  Shit.  I had the presence of mind to grab them and flip on my back, and blew bubbles for a minute to get them on right, and was off.  Again, that's Ironman.  Its such a long day that you have to be ready for this shit.  Thankfully I was fine - and aside from a minute of off-kilter, I was back on track.  

After about a zillion years 3000 meters, we hit the canal, which was much easier to sight, but got more congested as we went.  I was doing my chill swim thing (maybe I will learn how to race in the water someday!) when I breathed left and saw - GREG!  OMG!  He found me in the water!  He was videoing, and of course, because I am #superserious, I waved.  And laughed.  How much fun - and how crazy he found me! 

The rest of the swim passed rather uneventfully - I peed in my wetsuit (aren't you glad you know this about me), flutter kicked a bit more to get my leggoes ready, and before I knew it, I was out of the water in 1:14.  I had honestly wanted a bit closer to 1:10, but after the race, it seemed everyone's swim times, including the pros (and wizard Lauren Brandon) were a bit long.  My Garmin netted 4250 yards, which is about 100 yards long for a standard Ironman swim - which was not bad at all, especially for an April race, where I have OWS exactly 2500 yards total in training.   While I have "learn how to swim" on my list for my next race (I set lofty goals, man!) - I was totally fine with the few minutes I lost here, and plopped my butt down for the wetsuit strippers peelers, and was off to my bike for the ride!!

Side note - this screenshot is from a video a spectator posted during the swim Saturday- including a PILE of 6 foot long nope ropes right by the canal....and one slithering in DURING THE RACE.  If someone showed this to me prior to the swim, I either would have had a coronary or swam a freaking record Ironman swim.  Race plan for the next one?  HELL TO THE NO!

Stay tuned for part 2..... :)

IMTX Taper/Reflections: Unstoppable

And, after four months of training, eight months since I hit "submit" and ten months since I crossed the last Ironman finish line, its here.  Race week.  The day after tomorrow is the big two (okay, three) step - Ironman Texas.  So much has happened in the last three weeks and as I look at the bigger picture that its pretty much impossible to sum it up, but I'm gonna try.

The taper, as expected, was a giant shit show.  They always are.  I had the standard loss of energy,
coupled with lack of caffeine (OMG this was the worst part!), and then added in a dash of equipment problems - thank goodness for the heat wave in NY that let me get out on my bike.  I had issues with my chain dropping (limiter adjustment), issues with my power meter (it went from 0-13000 watts in 30 seconds, and no, I am not that good) and I was averaging about 2 mph less on every ride than I should.  Which, for the mind job of taper, OMG.  After four rides and a serious reconsideration of race goals - turns out my saddle has shifted back a half inch and down.  Welp, that'll do it.  FINALLY, my last brick fell into place before leaving NY - whew. I also had some foot issues stemming from new shoes, which is finally resolved.  Gotta love the last few weeks of this stuff!!

With that in check, my personal life also turned to shit AGAIN, with more ups and downs than I have space to talk about here.  The skinny is - a few roller coaster announcements that threw me for a loop (see what I did there), a pretty massive shake up with an existing friendship, and with 3 days left until departure - I had no idea who was even going with me to Texas. (Note that I have some amazing people that offered and I thank you.  While I have spent the last 4 months in such a weird shift of places, I have had one constant - and thats my tribe.  I love you guys).  Thankfully, it all got sorted, and with a fun new twist on my way out the door that's made me smile most of this week (thank you for that vague blogging Rae, you suck).

FINALLY on the road and somewhere around Cincinatti, our Air BnB cancelled.  WTF.  Again, a deep breath and a few hours of phone calls and frantic searches, and that got settled.  With past reflection, I am glad everything has worked out as it should, but I sincerely hope the drama is done until after Saturday!!  It reminds me that you just never know with Ironman - I've been pretty up front this time around with the whole process - both in a "this is how it is" with a twist of humor.  Ironman....is freaking hard.  It does not go to plan.  It demands a ton of work and discipline and is un-sexy.  And its always WHEN - not IF - something will go wrong.  You have to be able to handle it, and move on. But damn - is it fun.  And despite all of the craziness it brings, I am so grateful and happy to be doing something I love so freaking much. 

And if that isnt a microcosm for the last ten months of my life, I dont know what is.  I have changed so much since toeing the line of IMDSM in June 2022.  Some record highs, and some record lows.  And this past stint of training has taught me so damned much about who I am both on and off the race course.  I can't say it was all fun.  To be very honest, 2023 to date has hands down been the most challenging year of my life.  I have never cried as much as I have this year.  I have never hurt so much.  I have never, ever, been faced with so many things that are just giant question marks or unknowns where I have no idea which first step to take. And so, as I always do, I take the first step.  Sometimes its shaky, sometimes its right, and sometimes its jumping off a cliff.  And thats life. 

And I hesitate to write it, but its the truth.  At the gym in early January, I finished one of my 5am swims and as I walked into the locker room, Sia's "Unstoppable" played through the speakers.  We all know the lyrics - I'm unstoppable - I'm a porsche with no breaks - and you inevitably feel the power of this unstoppable woman. And as I drove home and relistened to the song, I heard the different lyrics I never noted.....

"I'll smile I know what it takes to fool this town"

"Ill tell what you wanna hear, leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear"

"Breakdown, only alone I will cry out loud, you'll never see whats hiding out"

"I'll put my armor on to show you how strong I am"

And I cried.  Because this...was me.  And in the last 3 months....I've been unstoppable...on the outside.   I've cried on the inside and to those few close people I trust.  To everyone else - I'm invinsible.  I'm confident.  I'm unstoppable. Working through the hurt for some accomplishment has been the most productive way I know to channel it - to bring some positive to all the challenges that aren't.  And while it doesn't fix everything, the genuine love I have for this sport has absolutely helped a ton, along with those people that see through my armor and sunglasses - and have been there for me every single step of the way.

And on Saturday, I'll be thinking about those amazing people that helped me get here - and continue to show me such amazing love with whatever capacity they have to do it.  I'm doing it with the support of an amazing coach and some absolutely wonderful friends and family that I could never imagine the past few months without.

And as I think about it - its the essence of Ironman.  It somehow strips you raw and demands of you -
what are you made of?  Can you shed a tear then pull yourself up and go after what you want - even if it means a 4am wakeup?  If it means training through tears?  If it means being frozen, too hot, running after 19 hours in a car, or when your entire life is falling apart?

I can.  And while I hate one of the reasons it went so well - the respite of training when your heart hurts so much that pushing through the pain seems a much lesser evil - its not the whole essence.  It's also a time of change in my life - and I know this.  And right before that change is when its the hardest - when you have to look at where you are, where you want to be, and who is there next to you.

I don't have all the answers, but I'm grateful for each day that I get to wake up and do what I love, be with the people I love, and take a deep breath and look up at the gorgeous sky and say "Thank you".  And then....dive into a pool.  A Lake.  Ride my beautiful bike.  Or lace up my shoes and go for a run.

Ironman Texas is....a race.  But it's also the culmination of some pretty sweet work, some pretty hard days, and the finish line of chasing my best self.  Let's get it started!!

IMTX Block 4: Tick Tick Boom

And in the blink of an eye, it's almost done.  Block 4 and the final block before taper ended Sunday - again, this was a 3 week block with two weeks of Peak Volume followed by a week of recovery, where once again, life took a turn and smacked my recovery straight in the face (what, its not wise to drive 24 hours in 3 days, most of it overnight?)  Oh I kill myself.  But I'm getting ahead of the story.  Lets talk about this peak week crap, otherwise known as "Where Mean Dude Tried to Kill me" (It didn't work.  Hah).

The concept of peak weeks aren't new to me - its pretty typical that in the span of Ironman training that there will be a few weeks of ridiculous volume about a month out from race day, and this was no exception.  The volume for my max weeks averaged 21-23 hours each week, with a few key long ass workouts - namely, a 6 hour ride followed by an hour run, a 20 mile run, and a 4000 yd straight swim (okay swimmers, you can stop shuddering - we do this exactly once to just fucking do it.)  The rest of the build was just adding on to other workouts, and mounting that fatigue.  The key here was to set those three workouts up so that I was ready to rock it with both the nutrition aspect and also get an idea as to my numbers for race day.

As expected, we prepped as well as humanly possible and dealt with the shit when it happened.  Globally, I set up the two weeks in advance for life by doing a lot of meal prep, scheduling playdates for the kids (I have the best Mom friends!) and accepting quite a few early wake ups, ranging from 3am on.  Ironman is not glamourous by any stretch, and there is a time to dig deep and ask how much you want it....and I really, really do.  My favorite lifeguard at the Y helped me out here - during week two, when I was seriously dragging at the pool, he chatted me up and we were discussing my likelihood of survival.  Flippantly, I told him this was just "an experiment with thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to see what I get out of it - NBD" and he looked me dead in the eye at 5:45am and asked "Like a trip to Hawaii?  How bad do you want it?"  Answer - Pretty fucking badly.  The desire to go to Kona is strong here, folks.  I'm fully aware its a crapshoot on the day and that anything can happen, but the laser focus is all there and I plan to throw  everything i have at this goal., 

In terms of execution, the two week span brought much of what you would expect - some successes and some "character building".

The Swim - As luck would have it, the heater at the Y was on the fritz during this span, which meant that a few swims I did - the water was in the upper 80s.  Holy hell.  I appreciated the nod to the tropics, but sadly, they do not allow margaritas on deck, so I absolutely muscled through some of these sets as well as I could, adjusting for conditions.  And while it sucked, that's about right - I don't expect the water to be mid 80s in Texas, but the day will absolutely bring something unexpected, so we roll.  My big swim went well, and I felt pretty good about that - I have a pretty accurate read on what I can expect to do on race day, which was the goal.  I am by no means a swimmer, but I get the job done with not a ton of effort, so we have held on to that this cycle and I feel good about it.

The Bike - Man, I'll tell you. I have been feeling pretty good on the bike - but its always a tough thing, because the weather this time of year is just not conducive to riding outside.  I got a few short shivery rides in, but most of my riding was still indoors this time around.  There were a few 3am wakeups to get it in, and two long rides - 5.5 hours and 6 hours, where I posted a few questionable videos and Mean Dude debated checking me into an asylum (to be fair, he thinks that a lot and I don't blame him).  With the being said, all long rides were successful  - I have my nutrition dialed in and my plan for the day.  A few issues popped up here - my HRM died, and so we learned how to go off watts and RPE - I ordered a new one, but it was a good reminder that shit can happen race day and that backup metrics are a good idea.  (I have never been through an Ironman where all my tech worked, so if this is the time it craps the bed, I am happy about it!)

The Run - Well, you guys know this is my fave, and there was no exception.  I had a little snafu during week one, when my long run was split - 9 in the morning and 10 in the afternoon.  I'm fully aware of the logic of this, but my body did not respond well at all.  I hit the run goal, but felt like I got run over by a bus afterwards.  Happily, my runs off the long bike were spot on - with the help of Laura, my amazing neighbor and fast becoming bestie, who does a great job of letting me cry with a side of "Get in loser, we are running" to remind me what my goals are and that I'm a tough bitch.  God I love her.  My last long run - a 20 miler, was absolutely perfect - I had no HRM so went off RPE and hit the pace beautifully.  I haven't spent a lot of time here talking about numbers, but the fact that my 20 mile training run was at a faster pace than my last marathon PR pace was awesome - on day 13 of peak efforts.  Suffice to say, unless its a zillion degrees on race day, I feel good about the run!

All that other stuff - Is what it is.  At some point, I will stop being surprised at the wild curveballs life throws me, but again, the past four months have included zero of what I expected, in terms of sport, life, and family and friends.  I'm positive I will write some ridiculous navel gazing post while I am tapering (get excited) but for now, as I am so damned tired and in need of looking at the positives...I'm highly focused on being so incredibly grateful for the people that have been in my corner this go around - of course, my coach, who really is the opposite of mean (except when he forces me into zone 2 at hour 5 of a long ride), my swimmy friend Bear, who again, brought me a survival care package during my most stressful peak week (I LOVE YOU!), my runny friend Laura (waxed poetic about above) who has just been there for me for everything - as someone who is used to just getting it done, the idea that I have such an amazing friend to check in and also get my butt moving during a tempo run is beyond amazing - AND she does cheesecake deliveries! My friend Billy who just lets me cry and listens to my endless sob stories without judgement, and, of course, my neighbor Kelly, who takes my kids, feeds me Costco chicken, and lets me collapse in her backyard post workout failure and cry like a little kid.

It's again, amazing what life brings you when you need it most.  And as I pen this, I am admittedly three days into taper and giving up caffeine, so I might not have all my devices - but I do know that while Ironman is a solo sport....I could never do it without my tribe.  And if you asked me 6 months ago who that tribe would be....I never would have known it to be most of these people.  I love you guys.  So much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. 

Ten days out from IMTX.....what's left?  No caffeine (screw you mean dude). Five days left of NY, then a long road trip to TEXAS and taking on Ironman #5 - I CANNOT WAIT! Next update to come from the Lonestar state - stay tuned!

IMTX Block #3 - You Learn

Well hello there!  Two blogs in a week?  I'm on a roll.  (Or something like that)

So, just to mess with me, Block #3 for IMTX was a little different(c'mon mean dude!) - rather than the standard three weeks build, one week recover, this was a two week build and one week recover.  Which means, as I write this, I'm on block 4 already (Yes, still alive)- but with the insanity that this week has brought, I'm a little behind (apologies). 

Block 3, again, was wild - by this point, some things are second nature - I rarely have a day off, but one day a week is only a swim, which works perfectly.  I'm used to HR training, and the different style of nutrition and increased bricks seem to be working out rather well. I literally have never been on this aggressive of a calorie input during cycling (did you guys KNOW you needed fuel to do fast shit??  I KNOW).  In other words, I'm hitting all of my deliverables - and at the end of a build week, set a new 5 mile PR (and a 5k PR nestled in- woot!) for road racing!

What could possibly go wrong?  Duh, it was time for a mental breakdown! Naturally, when everything is working, the next step is to start dissecting why it can't possibly BE working, right?  With Texas a little more than a month away, at this point in the training game, I reverted into every Type A bullshit triathlete tendency - to pick apart WHY it wasn't working. WHAT we needed to change.  WHO was saying it looked wrong.  In other words, I became my own worst enemy.

First and foremost, I'll start off by admitting that my own little world outside of training, quite frankly, is a giant mess right now.  I won't get into details, but at some point, I'll address it more fully- but for brevity, in 2023, it seems as if the only thing I can hold together decently is this damned training. That's not a pride thing. And for what it's worth, I've debated pausing this Ironman more times than I care to admit - but it wouldn't fix anything I have going on outside of it. (This is not meant to be rainbows - I'm being real - it's not perfections and unicorns). So what do you do when you can't change something?  You change the way you look at it.  And in my case, I dealt with it a few ways - and the first one had nothing to do with multisport.

So, anyone that's anyone got an earful from me this past month. That's not necessarily a bad thing -   I've simply said what's on my mind. I think...I just got very tired of keeping everything inside and opted for that whole "20 seconds of courage" state that led me to some very wonderful and some very stupid places. (Note that I don't regret either).  I opened up to people and shared what was going through my head and what I was struggling with (hello, brave post) and honestly - I am so damned glad I did. 

I have a few relationships that are stronger for it, one that's hopefully on that path, and a few that...might not be.  But as I am fast learning, you can't dodge turning 40 and all that proverbial bullshit that goes with it - seems to be that mid life crisis will show up in one way or another. (Damno).  Why not do it fully? And so, I'm jumping. Maybe sometimes off of a cliff....Some of my world has been rocked, for sure, but at the end of the day, I'm feeling so much stronger and so much more ME than I have in awhile. And that is damned awesome. 

I also found out this cycle who is NOT in my corner, which was foreign to me.  I'd never really thought about the fact that some people....might not be what they seem.  Or might have an agenda. Or be on my side.  Et Tu Brute?  And I'll tell you....while some of those individuals did not shock me, some of them holding the knife after stabbing me in the back shocked the shit out of me.  I still shake my head at it, but I'm learning to deal with it and move on.  You can't win 'em all. And at the end of the day....I'm stronger for it. 

With that....I cannot even fathom the people that have caught me during this cycle.  It has been wild.  I never....ever....realized what a crazy strong group of amazing friends I've had....and this cycle taught me that all around. That I don't always have to kick ass.  Or be strong.  And that it's okay to admit it.  Mean Dude is one of them - this guy barely knew me four months ago and has just been so in my corner I thank my lucky stars every day our paths connected (and even though I won that race bet, I'm aware this dude is gonna need alcohol and therapy for the shit he deals with.  I'm on it.)  As far as "training" goes, its a mix of Mean Dude's vision and some key players that made this block kick ass. 

What, we need to talk about triathlon in an Ironman post?  Fine.  Let's do it. 

It starts with the swim.  There have been a few key differences in my swim that had me concerned, and after making the pivotal mistake of trying to compare my new plan with my old plan, I fell down the rabbit hole of doubt because of the differences.  So, of course, I whined to Mean Dude, who, the amazing guy he is, listened and offered two things - rationale and compromise.  What a damned coach. Have I discussed how freaking awesome he is?  He listens, explains, and even caught me crying this time around.  And he hasn't run yet.  Damn. 

  Right after that conversation,  I swam a TT best for the 2000 and told him I was a fucking idiot.  He laughed at me (that was the point) and we had a good conversation about what it looks on the outside, the bigger picture, and the WHY of my current plan.  Point taken.  It's really hard to trust when there is so much on the line, and ever since I have started working with Mean Dude, there is zero reason not to trust.  This re-affirmed everything I needed to know, and even though there will be more mental game as we get closer, I feel much better. 

 I also have been caught....both in the pool and out of the pool...by my new friend Bear more times than I can count this month - someone I just met last summer has become such a wonderful addition to my life, whether its 5am smiles at the pool, a burger and a beer and chatting about life, or surprise treats to cheer me up as I navigate a tough time.  I still don't know how some people cross my path, but I am forever grateful for it.

The bike has been a constant here - the biggie on the bike has been nutrition.  Mean Dude has me on an aggressive intake, which was foreign to me but is working SO well.  I am running strong off the bike and I hope this translates well to Texas! All the long rides are so structured and timing for HR and nutrition, that I am never bored.  I rode 5 hours during this block with only music and it went by so damned fast.  Even though my outdoor rides ill be limited this time around, the goal for block 4 is to get some short and sweet rides in to work on handling, putting on my aero helmet correctly (whistles innocently) and not biff it in T2 (Whistles even more innocently). 

The run - continues to be amazing for a few reasons.  I'm getting faster, feeling stronger, and I have my crew.  The dumpster crew.  God these guys are amazing.  Whether its a group Dumpster run through the mountains of Fairport with Dave leading the call, or a post 100 mile off the bike T run with Laura keeping me sane - the pickup line of "Get in loser, we're going running" is strong.  I've laughed during these runs.  I've cried during them.  I know all their shit and they know mine.  And these are from people I just met last year.  I cannot believe how vested they are in me as a person and athlete and I am so incredibly grateful.

It's been such a full year already, and I have no idea where it will take me - but I am feeling so strong.  I love every minute of it - and continue to post all my dumb shit on Instagram and Facebook so y'all can laugh and follow along - not with the numbers, which will be important on one day - April 22 - but for the WHY.  The WHY is strong, and even though I've got support from places I never expected...I am so incredibly grateful for it. And that might be the key this time around.  For years I have felt like an

imposter and now...I don't.  I feel like I belong.  And that I'm ready....for whatever life brings. 

Aside from the SBR, there's all my other wonderful friend that have helped address that "headcase game" this time around.  For my older sisters...the one that talks me off a ledge regarding my stupid decisions and the one that offers to drop everything when I'm falling.  For my twin....that will let me ramble about training and life ad nauseum and remind me to kick ass....damn.  And for that 3am that reminds me who the eff I am when I need it - and exactly what that means.  I Am. So. frickin lucky. I don't think about that enough.  But I recognize it. 

As I write this, race day is less than a month away.  I have no idea what that will look like, and it for sure looks a hell of a lot different than I thought it would even four months ago. And you know what?  I'm gonna roll with it and bring it. 

Because.... I want it.  And I love it.  And I'm ready.  Bring it, Texas!