Hey there.
It's been a minute.
Or half a year.
I've sat down so many times to write...and while the word flow effortlessly when I'm putting in miles, somehow they always dry up when I have a few moments to sit down and write them.
It's not a product of a lost voice. Its a mix of things - first of all, time, which, in the past year, has been a precious commodity. I always knew this, but in the past year, have fully come to appreciate not only the concept of balance, but of priorities. I always had a firm grasp on what those were, but now that I'm a single mom, that choice is driven very fiercely. Its my kids, then my own well-being. Next comes my relationships - ones I have cultivated and am so blessed to have. Then...comes the rest of the world. It's also been a year of reflection and next steps - 2024 and 2025 were spent re figuring out who I was and what I wanted. When a long-term marriage ends, you naturally do this. With the way it ended, I spent a long time thrown into a new reality that I didn't want, questioning so many things that just didn't make sense at all to me.
And I finally concluded that...they don't need to. What most people don't understand (and I'm glad they have never had to) is that a divorce not only ends a relationship - it ends the whole life you thought you were going to have. And that's incredibly tough to re-wire. For a time, I debated just turning to running - 2024 didn't have much multi-sport, and 2025 had basically nothing. I had to decide if this is what I really wanted - I started triathlon because of my ex, and so many things about it still screamed "us".
I decided hell no. I love this way too much to give it up. So I signed up for Placid 2025. That fell through, largely because of the aforementioned priorities. There were so many times where I had only enough space to pick my kids needs or my hobby - and the kids rightly won every time. With a month to go pre race, I had to decide once again - me or my kids. And with no hesitation, I picked them. No regrets.
The deferral was set - July 19, 2026. I re-hired mean dude in January, and have been steadily training since. Its not 2023. I had some grand idea of a Kona come back early on - after the highs of 2022 and 2023 it was easy to think that. Then the new standards came out, which were much different than 2023. It made the numbers hard to work - I would likely need a 10:30 tomorrow to qualify. That's not in my wheelhouse....for now.
I was also dealing with a whole new reality. I have my kids a little more than four days a week during the school year, which on paper, sounds like its easier. Bot those other two and a half days have to fit in a lot of adulting, since I refuse to do much of that when its time I can spend with them when they are with me. They also have sports on my "non custody days" which is awesome in the best of ways - bonus mom time! But also....realistically, is more time management. This was also the year for a big parent health crisis - my mother ended up with some significant health issues which is still ongoing, but as her POA and Health Care Proxy, has been such a struggle. I had to sell her house and am still dealing with bills and ongoing health care provider issues. My work hit a major crisis and we are still working through that.
All hard. All life. And this was the time to make a decision....what are we doing next? It would have been easy to step away from multi sport. AT least, Ironman for sure.
I don't do easy.
For the last six months, it hasn't been glamourous. Its been weird hours on the trainer. Runs on the treadmill or wonky sets that fit in with my crazy, demanding, stressful life. Those 5am swims that brough the steady, comforting presence of my Y family.
Because even though I'm still rebuilding, I love all of it so much.
So here I am. Tomorrow is the day. Lake Placid 2026. I got here two days ago, with one of my best friends and former coach - and it could not be more perfect. Both of us face a day we aren't really sure about. But that doesn't matter. It matters that we are here - in the magic of this place that holds so much history for us both. For Gary, its his 8th Placid. For me - its my third.
This was my first Ironman. Sixteen years ago I toed the line and had zero idea what to expect. Ill never forget that day. Eight years ago, I toed the same line to race with my then other half and best friend on his 40th birthday. That was another race that defined the next chapter of my life, though I never saw it coming at the time.
2010 Lake Placid - my first Ironman!
This year, its all about a new peace. Its been a crazy week - Ive been fighting some crazy GI issues, which Im guessing had to do with some bad blueberries. Some bike issues. A few life issues. But also...I'm in a place with most of my favorite people. And en route are the rest of the people that are the most important to me - my best friend, who is bringing my kids, one of which has never been here. And my own personal red flag.
Tomorrow, I'll jump in mirror lake for my 3rd crack at 140.6 in Ironman Lake Placid. The time doesn't matter, though you know Ill be racing my little heart out for the best I can do! What matters is - the feeling. The start of a whole new chapter. The last time I toed 140.6 was in 2023, and its a whole new world right now. I don't know what that looks like, but I know as I travel it, and hit that final destination, I'll be lucky enough to travel the course with one of my best friends and to cross that finish line with all the love from the four people I consider the cornerstone of my life.
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you're gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb
Thank you all so much for your support along the way - tomorrow Ill be carrying some pieces of the people I love the most - gels, tubes, sunglasses, hair ties, bike parts, earrings, a necklace and a homemade tattoo and bracelet! They are talismans but also a reminder that - when life gets hard, I know that so many people have my back. You are the best.
See ya on the other side of the Oval!
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