And for one hot second, you forgot I was a mom, didn't you? While looking for inspirational titles for this post about my pre race thoughts on the Buffalo marathon, I wracked my brain for songs that fit, and of course, as it usually goes, it was sitting right in front of me.
In the form of my adorable daughter, who firmly believes she is Princess Elsa and pretty much refuses to wear anything but this nightgown, high heels, and a snowman cape nowadays while whirling around the kitchen singing "Let it Go!"
I could learn a lot from her. Namely, to just frigging let it go. This has been an interesting concept for me this time around - I've shared quite a few feelings on the blog that show how vulnerable I've been feeling since my last marathon and the ensuing foot (and life) issues since. I've made no secret about the fact that running this race is likely a poor life choice and that I really have no goals for it other than to finish it. I've even debated eating the cost of the race and just not going, but something stupid keeps me from doing that - likely, the fact that I'm pretty stubborn and if I sign up to 26.2 miles, I'm gonna give it my best shot.
It's funny. I'll toe the line Sunday morning feeling the most unprepared that I've ever been. I don't even know if I'll finish. My foot has good days and bad days, but I do know I've trained with no consistent mileage or speed at all in the last 7 weeks, and aside from a great half marathon, have no confidence in any time goal at all.
When you take all of that away, you start to accept the fact that you can't control all the nitty gritty things going into a race - I have no split goals. I have no perfect play list. No magic sport beans to take before the race. Hell, my garmin is only half functional. I leave for Buffalo Saturday with my preferred race outfit, an mp3 player full of old stand bys, and some KT tape. I haven't even stalked the weather.
Do I have a rough plan? Sure. It's called, have fun and don't die. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not. It's tough to wrap your mind around a concept that you literally have no control over - suffice to say, the dramatic taper queen you all know and love really doesn't exist this time - I'm not calculating the exact splits to run a BQ, plotting out exactly where to take that gu, or where the elevation gain will trip me up and I need to account for (Hell, my garmin won't record it anyways).
I think the lack of control has taught me a few things - you go through stages of frustration (especially when you are type A like me!) - the denial that you can't control it, the anger that you can't change it, the downer side when you realize you can't (hello wine and oreos), bargaining, and hopefully, acceptance. I would say I'm firmly in stage four right now - doing the bargain dance - not to PR, but to allow me these 26.2 miles and to enjoy it, and to get through it without injury.
I can renounce my badass badge for this race. Hell, in a fit of bad assery, I decided to set my own stage and finally do something non- race related that I've been meaning to do for quite some time - I got inked. Tattoo #3 (still healing) complete!
I'm aware this is a super wise thing to do race week, but we have firmly hit the "fuck it all stage" with this taper and race prep. I was feeling pretty hardcore, until my daughter saw my tat and remarked, "MOMMY! I love your cutie mark!"
Well, that takes me down a peg. And reminds me, as always, that it's OK to laugh and take life a little less seriously. To laugh with those that make you laugh. To allow yourself to cry with those that let you cry. To appreciate those that are your biggest cheerleaders, even if they come from completely unexpected places.
To my cheerleaders over the past few months, I want you to know how damned much I appreciate you. I've had amazing support from people that I never expected it from, both in terms of my running ups and downs and my other life woes. You guys are absolutely amazing and I don't deserve your awesomeness, but it sure as hell has made me smile on those days when I need it most.
And if I can ask for one more favor....throw some love my way on Sunday, whether you're in the area or want to throw it virtually (you can track this shitshow here) I would appreciate the hell out of any well wishes that my foot decides to be functional and allow me to finish the race.
And for the next few days. I'll continue to just "let it go" and hope this laissez faire attitude brings a great race Sunday. (The cold never bothered me anyways- hear that Buffalo? COLD. COLD!)
In the form of my adorable daughter, who firmly believes she is Princess Elsa and pretty much refuses to wear anything but this nightgown, high heels, and a snowman cape nowadays while whirling around the kitchen singing "Let it Go!"
I could learn a lot from her. Namely, to just frigging let it go. This has been an interesting concept for me this time around - I've shared quite a few feelings on the blog that show how vulnerable I've been feeling since my last marathon and the ensuing foot (and life) issues since. I've made no secret about the fact that running this race is likely a poor life choice and that I really have no goals for it other than to finish it. I've even debated eating the cost of the race and just not going, but something stupid keeps me from doing that - likely, the fact that I'm pretty stubborn and if I sign up to 26.2 miles, I'm gonna give it my best shot.
It's funny. I'll toe the line Sunday morning feeling the most unprepared that I've ever been. I don't even know if I'll finish. My foot has good days and bad days, but I do know I've trained with no consistent mileage or speed at all in the last 7 weeks, and aside from a great half marathon, have no confidence in any time goal at all.
Do I have a rough plan? Sure. It's called, have fun and don't die. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not. It's tough to wrap your mind around a concept that you literally have no control over - suffice to say, the dramatic taper queen you all know and love really doesn't exist this time - I'm not calculating the exact splits to run a BQ, plotting out exactly where to take that gu, or where the elevation gain will trip me up and I need to account for (Hell, my garmin won't record it anyways).
I think the lack of control has taught me a few things - you go through stages of frustration (especially when you are type A like me!) - the denial that you can't control it, the anger that you can't change it, the downer side when you realize you can't (hello wine and oreos), bargaining, and hopefully, acceptance. I would say I'm firmly in stage four right now - doing the bargain dance - not to PR, but to allow me these 26.2 miles and to enjoy it, and to get through it without injury.
I can renounce my badass badge for this race. Hell, in a fit of bad assery, I decided to set my own stage and finally do something non- race related that I've been meaning to do for quite some time - I got inked. Tattoo #3 (still healing) complete!
I'm aware this is a super wise thing to do race week, but we have firmly hit the "fuck it all stage" with this taper and race prep. I was feeling pretty hardcore, until my daughter saw my tat and remarked, "MOMMY! I love your cutie mark!"
Well, that takes me down a peg. And reminds me, as always, that it's OK to laugh and take life a little less seriously. To laugh with those that make you laugh. To allow yourself to cry with those that let you cry. To appreciate those that are your biggest cheerleaders, even if they come from completely unexpected places.
To my cheerleaders over the past few months, I want you to know how damned much I appreciate you. I've had amazing support from people that I never expected it from, both in terms of my running ups and downs and my other life woes. You guys are absolutely amazing and I don't deserve your awesomeness, but it sure as hell has made me smile on those days when I need it most.
And if I can ask for one more favor....throw some love my way on Sunday, whether you're in the area or want to throw it virtually (you can track this shitshow here) I would appreciate the hell out of any well wishes that my foot decides to be functional and allow me to finish the race.
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And for the next few days. I'll continue to just "let it go" and hope this laissez faire attitude brings a great race Sunday. (The cold never bothered me anyways- hear that Buffalo? COLD. COLD!)
Go get it👊
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