Thursday, June 30, 2011

The wheels on the bus (or car)

go round and round!! (insert the cheese)

Yup, it's go time.  The car is packed, the snacks in the cooler, the Ipod set with Road songs (dear god help us) and the hubster and I have crammed in our workouts for the day (though don't be surprised if I bust out a midnight run at some random rest stop to wake myself up.)  Yup, I'm a loser incredibly dedicated.

With 750 miles to travel and 13 hours in the car after a day of work...what does one do to entertain themselves and stay awake?  Pay attention, friends, I give you the official....

GLASERINO ROAD TRIP TIPS

Source
1.  Play cow bingo.  315 country game, my tush.   If you've never played, you are missing out. 

2.  Start a deep philosophical discussion with your car mate about how certain words sound weird if you say them over and over again.  Like flatulence.  Flatulence.  FLAT...wait, what?

3.  Try not to give sound effects or smell effects to the game above.  It kinda kills the mood.  And the person driving.

4.  Speaking of which, when packing your car snackies, make sure there isn't a ton of fibrous snacks involved.  Baby carrots, good.  BBQ potato chips, even better.  Prunes?  Nah.  I hear they make you go.

5.  Sing along to a mix of songs from Sir Mix A Lot to They Might be Giants.  Feel free to use the latter as a vehicle for discussion in tip number 2.

6.  Pull alongside tractor trailer trucks and make the horn motion.  Because if you think you're too old to do that, then you shouldn't be involved in a road trip.

Seriously, what were they thinking?
7.  Watch out for radar emitting school buses at school bus stops.  If you don't duck, the blast might kill ya. 

8.  Take the time to have one of those heart to heart chats about your relationship and "where it's going".  Feel free to bring up emotional baggage from the past and also your wants and desires.

9.  Realize that, if you do take part in number 8, "where you're going" might be literally on the side of the road dropped off with your physical baggage 5 minutes into the above mentioned conversation.  Yup, that's what she said. 

10.  Seriously, though, make the driver happy.  They get to pick the tunes.  You navigate.  Unwrap their sandwich, entertain them, and keep them in good munchies.  Cause really, if you don't, driving the Pennsylvania mountains might not be much fun.  As in, you might take a little "off road" action...and not in a good way!

Well, there ya go.  Hopefully the hubster doesn't read this post before we go.  Or I might be running to North Carolina.  I DID say that I wanted to start doing ultras...right?  Oh man. 

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