Well hello there! Two blogs in a week? I'm on a roll. (Or something like that)
So, just to mess with me, Block #3 for IMTX was a little different(c'mon mean dude!) - rather than the standard three weeks build, one week recover, this was a two week build and one week recover. Which means, as I write this, I'm on block 4 already (Yes, still alive)- but with the insanity that this week has brought, I'm a little behind (apologies).
What could possibly go wrong? Duh, it was time for a mental breakdown! Naturally, when everything is working, the next step is to start dissecting why it can't possibly BE working, right? With Texas a little more than a month away, at this point in the training game, I reverted into every Type A bullshit triathlete tendency - to pick apart WHY it wasn't working. WHAT we needed to change. WHO was saying it looked wrong. In other words, I became my own worst enemy.
First and foremost, I'll start off by admitting that my own little world outside of training, quite frankly, is a giant mess right now. I won't get into details, but at some point, I'll address it more fully- but for brevity, in 2023, it seems as if the only thing I can hold together decently is this damned training. That's not a pride thing. And for what it's worth, I've debated pausing this Ironman more times than I care to admit - but it wouldn't fix anything I have going on outside of it. (This is not meant to be rainbows - I'm being real - it's not perfections and unicorns). So what do you do when you can't change something? You change the way you look at it. And in my case, I dealt with it a few ways - and the first one had nothing to do with multisport.
I have a few relationships that are stronger for it, one that's hopefully on that path, and a few that...might not be. But as I am fast learning, you can't dodge turning 40 and all that proverbial bullshit that goes with it - seems to be that mid life crisis will show up in one way or another. (Damno). Why not do it fully? And so, I'm jumping. Maybe sometimes off of a cliff....Some of my world has been rocked, for sure, but at the end of the day, I'm feeling so much stronger and so much more ME than I have in awhile. And that is damned awesome.
I also found out this cycle who is NOT in my corner, which was foreign to me. I'd never really thought about the fact that some people....might not be what they seem. Or might have an agenda. Or be on my side. Et Tu Brute? And I'll tell you....while some of those individuals did not shock me, some of them holding the knife after stabbing me in the back shocked the shit out of me. I still shake my head at it, but I'm learning to deal with it and move on. You can't win 'em all. And at the end of the day....I'm stronger for it.
With that....I cannot even fathom the people that have caught me during this cycle. It has been wild. I never....ever....realized what a crazy strong group of amazing friends I've had....and this cycle taught me that all around. That I don't always have to kick ass. Or be strong. And that it's okay to admit it. Mean Dude is one of them - this guy barely knew me four months ago and has just been so in my corner I thank my lucky stars every day our paths connected (and even though I won that race bet, I'm aware this dude is gonna need alcohol and therapy for the shit he deals with. I'm on it.) As far as "training" goes, its a mix of Mean Dude's vision and some key players that made this block kick ass.
What, we need to talk about triathlon in an Ironman post? Fine. Let's do it.
It starts with the swim. There have been a few key differences in my swim that had me concerned, and after making the pivotal mistake of trying to compare my new plan with my old plan, I fell down the rabbit hole of doubt because of the differences. So, of course, I whined to Mean Dude, who, the amazing guy he is, listened and offered two things - rationale and compromise. What a damned coach. Have I discussed how freaking awesome he is? He listens, explains, and even caught me crying this time around. And he hasn't run yet. Damn.
Right after that conversation, I swam a TT best for the 2000 and told him I was a fucking idiot. He laughed at me (that was the point) and we had a good conversation about what it looks on the outside, the bigger picture, and the WHY of my current plan. Point taken. It's really hard to trust when there is so much on the line, and ever since I have started working with Mean Dude, there is zero reason not to trust. This re-affirmed everything I needed to know, and even though there will be more mental game as we get closer, I feel much better.
I also have been caught....both in the pool and out of the pool...by my new friend Bear more times than I can count this month - someone I just met last summer has become such a wonderful addition to my life, whether its 5am smiles at the pool, a burger and a beer and chatting about life, or surprise treats to cheer me up as I navigate a tough time. I still don't know how some people cross my path, but I am forever grateful for it.
The bike has been a constant here - the biggie on the bike has been nutrition. Mean Dude has me on an aggressive intake, which was foreign to me but is working SO well. I am running strong off the bike and I hope this translates well to Texas! All the long rides are so structured and timing for HR and nutrition, that I am never bored. I rode 5 hours during this block with only music and it went by so damned fast. Even though my outdoor rides ill be limited this time around, the goal for block 4 is to get some short and sweet rides in to work on handling, putting on my aero helmet correctly (whistles innocently) and not biff it in T2 (Whistles even more innocently).
The run - continues to be amazing for a few reasons. I'm getting faster, feeling stronger, and I have my crew. The dumpster crew. God these guys are amazing. Whether its a group Dumpster run through the mountains of Fairport with Dave leading the call, or a post 100 mile off the bike T run with Laura keeping me sane - the pickup line of "Get in loser, we're going running" is strong. I've laughed during these runs. I've cried during them. I know all their shit and they know mine. And these are from people I just met last year. I cannot believe how vested they are in me as a person and athlete and I am so incredibly grateful.
It's been such a full year already, and I have no idea where it will take me - but I am feeling so strong. I love every minute of it - and continue to post all my dumb shit on Instagram and Facebook so y'all can laugh and follow along - not with the numbers, which will be important on one day - April 22 - but for the WHY. The WHY is strong, and even though I've got support from places I never expected...I am so incredibly grateful for it. And that might be the key this time around. For years I have felt like an
Aside from the SBR, there's all my other wonderful friend that have helped address that "headcase game" this time around. For my older sisters...the one that talks me off a ledge regarding my stupid decisions and the one that offers to drop everything when I'm falling. For my twin....that will let me ramble about training and life ad nauseum and remind me to kick ass....damn. And for that 3am that reminds me who the eff I am when I need it - and exactly what that means. I Am. So. frickin lucky. I don't think about that enough. But I recognize it.
As I write this, race day is less than a month away. I have no idea what that will look like, and it for sure looks a hell of a lot different than I thought it would even four months ago. And you know what? I'm gonna roll with it and bring it.
Because.... I want it. And I love it. And I'm ready. Bring it, Texas!
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