IMTX Block #1: The Times, They are a Changin'

So, in the most drawn out fashion ever (which is really saying a lot), we have finally finished block one of Ironman Texas 2023 training!  Aside from my usual bullshit of way overdoing things, this really was a six week block instead of the customary four - two weeks of fucking around and finding out (not the most fun, but necessary in some instances!) and then a four week block with our newest character to this shitshow I call life - "Mean Dude".  I just finished recovery week of my first four weeks with this new coach, and I'm gonna do a full review of Mean Dude (spoiler alert - he's not mean) , but first, we have plenty to talk about.  This has, without a doubt, been the most different month of training I have had in years...or...ever...., which will either be really good or really bad, but hey, I'm pretty much known for jumping off cliffs, and even though it doesn't always work out, I have a gut feeling about this one.  With 12 weeks to go until IMTX, this is the path I've chosen - so lets talk about it!

When Mean Dude and I connected a month ago, he offered to write me a block of training, and then we

would step back to re-assess where we were both at.  He was working on developing his own coaching company, which he is well on the way for, but had decades of experience with running and multi sport, and had the race cred to back it up. We have been acquaintances for awhile (we might be friends now, if he can even stand me - thats Mean Dude on the middle left post race, pre working with me.  He's aged about a decade since putting up with my bullshit) so there was a trust.  I knew his program would be different than I was used to - I'd been penning my own workouts for the last year and a half, so I accepted that he wouldn't know all my weird quirks - even mileage workouts, distance, not time for runs, and the natural structure I had been following for a training week since 2019. It was about to all be flipped. And I was gonna have to roll with it.

Whew.  Honestly - between us, I embrace change, but the last few months....years...have really brought it to a new level.  I keep moving with it, but I swear, every time I get comfortable anywhere, something significant changes.  The last few months have knocked me on my ass, and here we were, with yet another change - but this time, I approached it with an "It is what it is" mantra - I knew that I had enough sense of myself to step back if this wasn't right. And even though it's bitten me in the butt in the past, I decided to trust Mean Dude right off the bat and not put up any barriers. In the last month, I have learned so much - some from Mean Dude, and some from the people I have been training with or alongside. And it's been freaking fantastic.

The Swim - I switched up the swim this block in a few ways.  Mean Dude is a big fan of 20x100 sets with ridiculous short send off and playing with flippers.  The latter still look like clown shoes to me, and if anyone wants a damn laugh, watch me try to open turn with said flippers. (I still hate flip turns) My friend Bear lent me her shorter flippers, so I now look like a penguin executing my 100s.  On the plus side, they zoom, so at least I'm a fast moron!  

Speaking of toys...this one has nothing to do with Mean Dude, but it's as good of a time as any to discuss.  One of the switches I made this year was to start swimming four times a week, so I go to the Y Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.  Hey, work your weakness, right?? Wednesdays are my early swims - purely due to peer pressure, but it gets me home to put the kids on the bus and it works schedule wise, so yay for 4am wake ups!  

Wednesdays are fun for many reasons - I have friends to swim with, my buddy is on duty as the lifeguard, and I can chase the super fast boys in speedos (hey, I'll admit that's a fun perk. And no, I can't catch them.  Even with clown shoes flippers).  I've noticed that it seems to be a Wednesday thing that all TOYS - such as paddles, buoys, etc. and send offs for each interval - are in the deep end.  Now, usually I set up my crap in the shallow end, but when in Rome - ya know.  I have yet to figure out why these super fasties set up shop at the deep end, but I have a few theories - namely, its badass to pull yourself out of the pool in the deep end, (the gun show is real) there's a drain by the end of the lane that I'm pretty positive my super speedy speedo guy friend disappears into post swim when he swims solo (maybe its a portal to somewhere? Where does it go?  I dunno, I'm not fast enough to catch him) and...well, that's it, but I'm sure I'll come up with some more theories during the 1000 yard pull sets Mean Dude assigns.  I haven't asked yet, because I like my theories, but hey, if I can fool anyone to thinking I can hang with the real swimmers (and oh man, do I try - said fast boys, if you're reading, throw me a bone, okay??) I'm gonna do it.  

The Bike - This one is hella different than I am used to.  Right now I'm using Zwift instead of Trainer Road, which started out because of a free trial, and since Mean Dude uses Zwift, we kept it.  Mean Dude is a big fan of HR training, so we have worked out zones, and my rides stay in those zones.  He likes his data, so I usually have tons to do on the bike, which means I watch zero crap on most of my rides.  I know.  I reached 4 hours this block for my long ride, sans anything but music.  It's wild.  I've read a few articles during the downtime, but since I'm switching something up every 20 minutes or so, I never get bored.  

I'm also fueling different - with a better focus on the best sources of hydration and electrolytes (God, I
sound like a douchebag).  It's helped quite a bit for my run off the bike - which is also different.  I used to do one brick a week, now I am doing 3.  One off the long ride, which is 4-7 miles, one off of an easier ride, and one segueing into my long run.  Yep - I ride.... then run 12-14 miles.  I have never heard of this, but it works out really well.  Since the bike has always been my biggest limiter, I've been laser focused on it this time around - now that I'm mostly comfortable on it, its time to wisely zoom (within my HR zones, of course!)  My last ride this week was probably the most epic  - I rode the Watopia Ride to the Sky course, which is an 11.2 mile effort, with 3398ft of elevation gain in 7.5 miles.  It was incredibly ridiculous, and despite the love I sent to Mean Dude (then compiled, because why not - check it out for a laugh at my expense! ) I really enjoyed it.  I ran strong off the bike, which is the whole goal and pretty encouraging when you're tackling 14% climb after climb! 

The Run - Again, I think the biggest switch here is HR training, which I haven't done in years.  I'm pretty bad at taking the easy stuff easy, but you can't fake HR and Mean Dude is all over my zones.  He assigns odd mileage runs (ugh) and timed runs (ugh) and when I bitched, he threw asinine runs my way like 3.083 miles (This happened).  This is about running right now, but I won't lie, the humor and communication style here is top notch, along with the subtle reminders that I need to trust the process and execute it well.  And...I am.  There have been a few biffs, but I honestly have to say, the recovery runs are getting easier to adhere to and my zone 1 runs are getting faster.  It's exciting stuff!  With the addition of the bricks, I'm also noticing that the bike warm up or bike prior to my run is only making my run stronger - and my last long run (around the bay, huzzah!) felt great and I was able to mix friendship with training, which is really the best of both worlds.

I have no idea how this will shake out race day, but right now I couldn't be happier with this first block.  It's working, the pieces are falling into place, and I'm having a blast with it.  Mean Dude (we really need to rename him) is an EXCELLENT coach, and he mixes the workouts with a great communication style (I never have to guess, and his follow up is excellent) and his sense of humor is spot on.  Which is important - because this go around, I'm all about the hard work but also the FUN. 

 If you follow me at all on social media, you see the ridiculous stories and posts I share about Ironman training - which is kind of the point!  I'm part of a podcast that's being organized on Slowtwitch (stay tuned for that) and even though my goals are huge this year, enjoying the process and laughing is always going to be part of it.  I'm loving all of it - the coaching, the dancing, the fun people that I get to spend time with along the way - and each day I get so excited to be one step closer to race day!  

Which, on that note - Musselman just released their new run course for 2023.  It's not my A race, but they must have listened to my massive bitching helpful input, and they did away with the train track run course!  HUZZAH!  Maybe that's the motto of 2023- ditching one train track at a time.  Let's DANCE!

Life is a Highway

And here we are, in the first recovery week of the IMTX build - which means a few things.  It's not quite time for a Block 1 recap (I know you're on the edge of your seat here, but Mean Dude has me doing a few fun workouts this week that I'll want to encompass in that post, so stay tuned - this road to Ironman is the wildest yet so far!)

This post is oddly more about that whole "balance" act that seems to be so precarious lately.  I'm not gonna lie, guys, I'm sure if you read between the lines, the last few months have been incredibly rough here - I've included enough reality in between the expected jokes and silliness that it was evident that I've been on the struggle bus, trying to right myself for awhile.  And most of it, I couldn't put my finger on the exact "why" - which was frustrating as hell.  Was it the holidays?  Family Stuff? Friend Stuff? Overtraining? Off season? Winter?  Who knows.  But I won't kid a kidder, there were many days filled with apathy and just a lack of desire for anything...more days than I will care to admit it in a short period of time.  I was just not myself.  And the part that pissed me off was that I knew it, and had zero idea how to fix it.

The key was time, patience with myself, and the company of a few really good people that weren't afraid to call me out on my bullshit, but follow it up with support.  I'm not saying life is perfect, but in the past few weeks, it's absolutely been looking up, thank goodness. I at least know where to go with some of the struggles, and know who's gonna be there to support me if and when I need it.  I'm not great with the patient thing or the time thing - once something goes wrong, I want to be able to hop in and fix it, dammit.  

Which led me to the ironic part - throughout the whole ordeal (how long can I milk this mid life crisis around my 40th birthday - asking for a friend??) I was truly annoyed with the idea that while my life was falling apart, there was one constant to where I was kicking ass - and that was training - marathon, Ironman, you name it - the workouts were mostly nailed and checked off and I was getting it done. 

Sports, and in particular, long distance triathlon, are such a tricky thing.  They can be a great outlet for mental health, staying active and healthy, and goal setting.  They also can quickly get out of hand and suck you into a world of obsession.  While I've been a triathlete for almost two decades now, I really have been focused the last few years at a different level, and I've noticed that the admiration for dedication and achievement comes with a second helping of judgement - how much time do you spend training?  Aren't you a little obsessed?  What does your family think?  Are you ever there for your kids? Maybe your life would be better if you just took a break and focused on other stuff. 

The answer is - I love this sport.  Truly, I do.  But its a hobby.  While its my favorite hobby, I'm always
careful to make sure that the training happens early, or on lunch (when I can) or in conjunction with something else - a kid lesson, a half day I took at work, or if I'm lucky enough - with my kid!  I have full support at home and am super careful not to screw with that.  And in terms of that obsession....its no moreso than a normal hobby.  I'd function without it.  I have other interests and likes. But in the past few months of uncertainty, I've used it as a grounding mechanism for many reasons - namely - because I can figure it out.

And that's huge.  When I look at my training - it all makes sense.  Whether its me penning the effort or my coach - the workouts have a purpose and a goal.  It's a clear cut goal and purpose that if I'm not sure what it is - I can as - and there are ANSWERS! (Which, let me reiterate, even though we call my coach Mean Dude he is literally one of my favorite people right now - I'll wax poetic about him next week, but lest he get a big head - he always explains, keeps the big picture in mind, and makes me laugh and feel proud and motivated all at once.  He's a keeper and I already love him for putting up with my shit.  And for me to say that on a recovery week is BIG TIME PRAISE.  Go Mean Dude!).

Each training session not only has a purpose, it leads to a bigger goal - there is a clear 16 week plan for this.  The finish line in X amount of time is the goal.  Each day, when I execute - I know what I want.  I see it.  Even if its 5am on a Sunday or shivering at the pool at o dark thirty, I can repeat the goal in my head and have direction.  I have control over the sessions and am not relying on anyone but me to achieve the outcome. 

If I fuck it up - I usually know why.  It could be lack of sleep, nutrition, anxiety (tough to hold ZR heart rate when life is fucked) or the weather.  But its usually easily pinpointed and can be righted.  And when it gets messy, you can either recognize the roadblock or call the audible and try again tomorrow.  There IS a do over, unlike in life, with a lack of time machines and corrector fluid. 

It all makes sense.  And with so much uncertainty lately, the road map that training is right now - is comforting.  

Once I figured that out, it made me feel better.  It doesn't negate all of the messy stuff that doesn't have a clear answer right now, but it at least gives me a space to go to where I can be calm and in control of it for a little bit as a "time out" from life. 

Oh - and I love it.  Did I mention that?  I love every workout, even the hard ones.  Even the ones I fail or need to tailor expectations to.  And they make me happy - I dance, sing, and enjoy every second (as any of you that see the shit I post on Instagram and Facebook can attest to - sorry not sorry!) And I've been lucky enough the past few weeks to share that with people that make me laugh, listen to me cry, and make me feel like the best version of myself.  And that part is huge.

I was out for a run the other day, thinking about the past year - recently, I've reconnected with a wonderful friendship that I thought I lost last winter.  And I laughed to myself, remembering the struggle I had back in January 2022 about this friendship - the times I spent worrying, being sad, and wondering where I went wrong with it.  

I also thought about what I had wished for 2022 and I realized that January 2022 Rae would KILL to be January 2023 Rae.  And it's not just all about racing - that BQ was sweet, as were the tri accomplishments, but the things that kept me up at night a year ago - have either worked out, are better now than ever - or - are no longer anything I think about. I literally have everything I wanted last year at this time, so why was I feeling the way I did? That friendship right now - is better than ever.  He's a 3am ride or die friend and I never thought that would happen.  I'm not saying it always works out but...sometimes it does. It does when it needs to.  And the rest - we move on from. And head on to the next adventure. 

Because we always want more.  We always want to reach higher.  And that's laudable - its what its all about.  But its important to remember that progress isn't linear - it can be messy, complicated, and not always have a clear outcome.  And that's okay too.  I think.....most of us are feeling this right now.  

So, as this unfurls, I don't expect 2023 to be all magic and cupcakes.  It's gonna get messy, and there will be tears with the laughter.  But I finally feel like me again - and as much in the drivers seat of this highway of life that I can be.  Who wants to join me on the road trip?

Ironman Texas Block ".5" - The Hamster Dance

It's officially 2023!!  I hope everyone had a fantastic New Year's and is on to the pursuit of great things.  Over in my little corner of the world, it's been a ride (pun intended) since January 1 - and lots has been happening, both in the world of training and outside of it.

This particular post is all about the former, though (which, of course, brings in more elements of the latter!)  Last time I updated, it was about time to kick off training for Ironman Texas - which is April 22, 2023. Big dreams here baby!! I devised an 18-week training plan that involved four "4 week blocks" and then a two week taper to land me to race day.  I went through quite a bit of back and forth about whether to use a coach or fly solo, and for many reasons, opted for the latter - recognizing my insane schedule, my relative success in 2022, and the fact that I had an entire Ironman plan mapped out from 2022 that included notes and suggestions - so it seemed like a good route to go.  With my mind at ease, I took the last 18 weeks leading up to Iowa that I wrote last year, tweaked block one for speed (run and bike faster, swim slower), and hit GO on December 19. LET's DO THIS THING!

Or not.

Oh, I amuse myself sometimes.  I like to think of myself as a reasonably intelligent person (yep, I know you laughed - fair) but I can do some pretty dumb shit (you're shocked - I know)

.  The first two weeks of the plan were a giant bust - they fell right during the holidays, which were incredibly tough this year, the pool was closed a lot, and even though I got every workout in I had the sense, both mentally and physically that I was going nowhere fast. I was on the struggle bus (for posterity, that is literally the best swimsuit I have ever owned) It sucked.  I was struggling with the concept of my "why" which is the VERY worst thing that can happen to you as an athlete - once your brain starts questioning a pursuit that is extremely physically demanding, your body follows suit.

What was it?  Burn Out?  A Bad plan?  Life?  I had no idea. But I knew that I had to fix it, and fix it quick if I wanted to do anything with 140.6.  I stepped back at the end of December and really looked at a lot of things in my life and asked myself honestly what I wanted for 2023.  And because I was really in a really bad spot with all of it, I admittedly went into the new year and was absolutely no better than the shit show that was December.  I was lost and it was showing everywhere.  I was the proverbial hamster - running on a wheel, going nowhere fast, and as a person that everyone looks to FOR the answer, was painfully aware that I didn't have anyone to ask.

But its funny how life works out.  When you least expect it, and sometimes from the people you would never expect it, your course can change...with some really special angels that stepped in to rescue me from my own self.  And thankfully, a little more than two weeks into the plan, a few key things happened:

I got myself a coach. Purely by accident, which is usually how the best things happen in my life, TBH.  "I wasn't expecting...." is a key phrase of mine and usually leads me to all the right places.  I'm a pretty lucky person - I have a friend helping me out who's cutting his teeth on coaching and knows his stuff

really really well.  We started working together a week and a half ago, and I'm already loving it.  Right now I'm his "hamster" because we decided being a guinea pig was just wrong - he's writing the weeks, I have zero to think about, and I just execute.  

The plan is based on HR for the run and bike, and while there is so much in every workout I'm not used to, it's been pretty eye opening to work with this format, and thankfully this guy gets my life AND my humor- even if we have dubbed him "Mean Guy" (his idea) for pretty much everything...my sarcasm, when I whine about a recovery run, forcing me to run by time (ugh) or an odd number of miles (double ugh) or when I blame my swim set screw up on the hot boys in speedos I was distracted by at the pool (ya know, theoretically). 

Number two - I started running with some pretty key people again.  Last fall, I was adopted by a few amazing runners - my neighbor and friend Laura, who is not only fast as hell but hilarious and genuinely an amazing person who only wants the best for me, and my other speedy friend, Dumpster Fire Dave (self named, of course).  They helped me BQ in Philly, and in the past two weeks have rescued me from myself - whether its some tough love I needed personally, a string of ridiculous hills to make me stronger, or a rash of four-letter words and Instagram reels to make me laugh on a shitty day- it's been so needed.  The training is fun.  It's productive.  And since I usually follow them,

they pick routes where I have no idea where we are going - what the hills look like, the distance, anything.  But rather than freaking out, I trust the people in front of me and tailor the effort to match theirs.  And somehow, I land right back where I need to - my running has been on point, and I feel strong, I feel good.  Mean dude added a bike before my long runs, which is also new, but has been helping - again - the notion of someone watching out for you has been the key here. I don't have to figure it all out on my own anymore - and I have people in my corner!

Lastly, I went back to my 2019 roots and joined the Y again.  There were many reasons for this one, mostly due to the imited WAC schedule and the kids joining lessons, so it was a no brainer.  I'm loving being back at the Y - I can drop the kids off and swim, then swim with them.  There's a hot tub.  One of my buddies is a lifeguard and our schedules aligned.  And FINALLY, after months of persuasion, I've gotten to regularly join my friend Bear on her 5am swims - which I thought were nuts but have turned out to be amazing in so many ways.  She's another one that's been a happy new influence on 2023 training, which rocks.  And of course, the hot boys in speedos don't hurt either - even if I can't catch them and they mess up my set when I get distracted by the cuteness try to race them.  Some things never change. And that's just fine by me!

On my last long fun with DF Dave, at mile 14 we came across....a train.  And we laughed.  Because its me. And then....a minute later, another train crossed going the opposite way.  And in between my giggles and the fact that we could see our finish line right on the other side of the two trains, I realized that maybe this double train was somehow a weird metaphor - with the trains of 2022 and the mess that 2023 had been for the first few days, maybe this meant that all the trains were out of the way.

Or maybe they aren't, and it was just a funny coincidence that we can finally laugh at and move the hell on.  Even if they aren't, going into week two of this new phase of 2023 has me back right where I need to be at last - excited, happy, and looking forward to all of it.  I think....I finally have me back.  And even though that came with help from people I never expected it to, I'm so grateful.  The journey really is full of twists and turns, isn't it?  But I fully believe the best is yet to come!