Oh Canada

 Ahhh, the joy of taper.  It's funny, I've done long course multisport for over a decade and every time I feel like I have the taper nailed, something always happens.  Note that I hate tapering, on principle.  It's a total mind job where you question all of your training and fitness and have time on your hands to overthink away about where it all went wrong and how you are destined to fail at the upcoming race. And when you think you've found all the ways you are SURE you won't make it to the start line...well....

Oh boy, do I amuse myself.  Even though I had downgraded Barrelman a few weeks back to a fun race, I decided to be wise and do a little week long taper to prep and hit the race as best as I could.  I thought I would be in for some grumpiness, a few questions about my glute (which is FUBAR, btw, but still lets me do something resembling biking) and a few blips on race prep.

So... every time I think I have life down, it hands me another crazy thing.  I finally started my race prep Monday night - for a half Ironman I don't think too far down the line, but wanted to make sure I had enough french fries and gravy nutrition and fresh batteries in my power meter, etc.  So I lugged out my pre-race checklist from Iowa and updated it for this weekend - adding in the extras I needed to pack, like my vaccination card.  On the advice of Mike, the buddy I was travelling with, I downloaded the ArriveCAN app to upload my stuffs for the border.  It asked for my COVID proof of vax, etc. to ensure easier crossing.  It also asked for my passport, which I hadn't touched in awhile, so I put it on my "to do" list for Tuesday to find it - we keep all our important paperwork in one location, but since the move in 2020 I hadn't bothered to dig it out - who was travelling that year??

I went to bed Monday, thinking nothing of it.  As I started to pass out, I randomly thought about passports and wondered how long they were good for.  A quick google told me - 10 years.  Sweet.  I went to Jamaica in 2018, so I was all set.  I drifted off and woke with a start -wait- did I renew it then?   When DID I renew it?  We went in 2012as well.....oh shit.  SHIT! So, at 10:30 at night, I tore the house apart looking for my passport which I found and it...expired in....February 2012.  OHMYFREAKINGGOD.  Another quick google search told me I could travel with an enhanced license - did I have that?  Nope.  Timeline?  6-8 weeks for a passport renewal.  Two weeks for an enhanced license.  I had....five days.  FUCK!!  The rest of Monday night Greg and I googled expedited passport agencies - I could get one in 24 hours for....$800.  You have GOT to be kidding me.  About 1am, we found one in Buffalo that would do it 24-48 hours for $60 extra.  YES!!

Tuesday morning I woke up early, filled out the passport application and had Greg take my mug shot.  I was on the phone at 8am with the service and they told me that they had a 9am appointment!

  In...Vermont.  Turns out this was a national service and they had places all across the country.  Since I had left my Concord in my "other jacket pocket" I asked about closer and they said the soonest Buffalo appointment was on September 20th.  This was perfect for a September 18th race. 

 Shit. I asked about walk ins.  Nope.  I asked about hanging out in the lobby waiting for a cancellation - turns out, they won't even let you in the door without an appointment.  A waiting list?  Also, no.  You had to keep calling and trying.  Perfect.  I tried three more times that day, and was able to locate appointments in NYC and Atlanta. Again, fun places, but....not in a day. This...was not good.

After a miserable 24 hours, I finally admitted the race wasn't going to happen.  By all accounts, I could get IN to Canada with an expired passport, but not home.  And as much as I like poutine, I was not down to hang out at immigration for an indeterminant amount of time.

Guys, I was crushed.  This was not an A race...but I had hopes for this one.  My Air Bnb host was awesome enough to give me the number for border patrol to try to see what could be done, but it was a wing and a prayer.  Was I willing to risk it?  Nope.  I also reached out to the RD with help from Mike, to see if I could transfer the entry to someone who was less of a dumbass another athlete - nope.  They were awesome enough to offer me some options for next year - and I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to get rip roaring drunk this weekend and feel sorry for myself.  I felt like such a giant idiot but - who has legit checked their passport since 2020?  And, I'm showing my age but - for most of my life, a trip to Canada was no big deal - you needed a birth certificate or license.  As a matter of fact, up until July 1 ,2022 - you could cross the border with an expired passport.

First world problem, guys. I know.  But it made me grumpy. And sad.

Wednesday morning, I went for a run.  I was starting to try to pick myself up and work toward some of my fall goals...gotta pivot somehow.  But I decided to try one last time.  I got back and called the service at 8:30, telling myself that if it didn't work out, Tri season 2022 was done and that was okay.  The woman that answered told me that they had a 12:30 appointment.

In. BUFFALO.

OMG!  I took off like a shot, printed my paperwork, and zoomed to Buffalo, in line at 11am to be early and sure of success.  The appointment went off like a charm, and they told me to come back at 3pm to see if the paperwork could be processed.  I drove to a Starbucks, worked remotely, drank seven gallons of coffee, and 3 hours later....I had A FREAKING PASSPORT THAT WAS CURRENT.

For the $60 dumbass fee and 8 hours in Buffalo,  I WAS IN.  Only me, right?  As I retell the story, people laugh and say...only you.  And only you would pull a rabbit out of your ass and fix this in 48 hours. This is, without a doubt, the craziest, dumbest pre race story I've ever told.  Of course, the drive home took 3 hours because they stopped all eastbound traffic, due to the fact that Kamela Harris was travelling in Buffalo.  Who cares.  'Merica. 

And with that, my race goals have changed.  Again. I am so damned happy and excited to race this weekend - I had no idea how much I wanted to go until it might not have been a thing.  While Barrelman might not be an A race in terms of my time goals, it's gonna be the AMAZING race I went to in 2019 - Let's GO LET'S GO LET's GO!

Stay tuned for the trip across the border for some Canadian fun - I'm #280 and I plan to kick it up and light a fire under this race!!