As I round into the home stretch with this marathon training, I've realized a few inevitable truths about myself as an athlete and person:
I don't take well to limits others set for me. If someone sets one, I do my best to smash it.
I don't take well to my own limits. As soon as I threw out any preconceived notions about what I could do as an athlete and challenged them, I realized I've set the bar way too low for myself all along.
I do my very best running when I've had a complete emotional breakdown or angst of some sort to "escape" from life the form of a run.
It's this last notion that has me reeling for week 13 of this training plan (March 11-17 - I'm a bit behind.) This week was undoubtedly one of the hardest weeks of my life on almost all fronts - in terms of parenting, my job, my relationships, and my faith in the goodness of people. There were so many emotional ups and downs with the week with almost every facet of my life, I went through the week with little sleep, a lot of stress, and only one way to escape - I ran. I cried as I ran. I played music really loud on my headphones and related to the songs with the angst of a teenager. I held arguments in my head (I was always eloquent, and of course, the victor).
And I worked through it via my sneakers pounding the pavement. My long run this week, an 18 miler, was the longest run on my plan for this race. I realized coming into the week that this run needed to be done solo - when I first started training for Coffee Milk, I had signed up with the promise of a pacing partner - being a solo runner, I decided if I wanted to run 26.2 with a fastie, I would need to train with people. So that's what I did. A few months ago, my friend backed out and I was flyin' solo. Which is totally fine, but I've noticed the run is so much different with a group or a friend - for anywhere from 14-16 miles I've chatted, learned things about new friends I didn't know, laughed, and lost track of the miles and any pain of it. And I've loved it. Which totally baffles me - I run to escape - as an introvert, I need my me time to recharge. Suffice to say, I've learned quite a bit about life through this training cycle!
But if I plan to run 26.2 alone, I needed to try a long run alone. And Wednesday, I had had enough of the week. So I took all my emotions - all the mad, sad, angry - and channeled it into an 18 miler that gave me strength, confidence and restoration. I went out not knowing if I had the energy to survive a mile. I came back 18 miles later, run at an 8:31 pace, ready to conquer the world.
And I did. After a recovery run on Thursday, I swam and biked Friday and took the day off from running to smash my 5 mile PR on Saturday at Running of the Green.
I'm so proud of this run. Going into it, I took all the nerves and giddiness and ran with power, excitement, and a sense of pride. And walked away with nothing left on the race course. It was epic.
Sunday....was a shit show. After a terrible morning, I once again laced up and took all of the confusion, sadness, and sense of emptiness to the roads to do what I do when I can't solve a problem - to breathe hard, put things in perspective, and figure out a way to deal with it.
Or sometimes, life deals with it. Through good friends and copious amounts a little bit of alcohol, the week ended on an excellent note.
Running....I love you. I just wish I didn't perform the best when I'm so emotional with you. Recovery pace? Maybe next week. For now, I'll admit I have a running problem. Running is my medication. My name is Rae and I'm addicted.
Weekly Mileage:
Running: 56
Biking: 25
Swimming: 5200 (yards)
Next week is the last higher mileage week, with a 14-16 long mile run and my last 50 plus mile week before the dreaded taper.....fingers crossed either life calms down and I can keep my shit together running wise while having a less dramatic life, or stay tuned as I jump out the window and hopefully land upright in my running shoes as I continue the dramatic art of escapism,.
I don't take well to limits others set for me. If someone sets one, I do my best to smash it.
I don't take well to my own limits. As soon as I threw out any preconceived notions about what I could do as an athlete and challenged them, I realized I've set the bar way too low for myself all along.
I do my very best running when I've had a complete emotional breakdown or angst of some sort to "escape" from life the form of a run.
It's this last notion that has me reeling for week 13 of this training plan (March 11-17 - I'm a bit behind.) This week was undoubtedly one of the hardest weeks of my life on almost all fronts - in terms of parenting, my job, my relationships, and my faith in the goodness of people. There were so many emotional ups and downs with the week with almost every facet of my life, I went through the week with little sleep, a lot of stress, and only one way to escape - I ran. I cried as I ran. I played music really loud on my headphones and related to the songs with the angst of a teenager. I held arguments in my head (I was always eloquent, and of course, the victor).
And I worked through it via my sneakers pounding the pavement. My long run this week, an 18 miler, was the longest run on my plan for this race. I realized coming into the week that this run needed to be done solo - when I first started training for Coffee Milk, I had signed up with the promise of a pacing partner - being a solo runner, I decided if I wanted to run 26.2 with a fastie, I would need to train with people. So that's what I did. A few months ago, my friend backed out and I was flyin' solo. Which is totally fine, but I've noticed the run is so much different with a group or a friend - for anywhere from 14-16 miles I've chatted, learned things about new friends I didn't know, laughed, and lost track of the miles and any pain of it. And I've loved it. Which totally baffles me - I run to escape - as an introvert, I need my me time to recharge. Suffice to say, I've learned quite a bit about life through this training cycle!
But if I plan to run 26.2 alone, I needed to try a long run alone. And Wednesday, I had had enough of the week. So I took all my emotions - all the mad, sad, angry - and channeled it into an 18 miler that gave me strength, confidence and restoration. I went out not knowing if I had the energy to survive a mile. I came back 18 miles later, run at an 8:31 pace, ready to conquer the world.
I'm so proud of this run. Going into it, I took all the nerves and giddiness and ran with power, excitement, and a sense of pride. And walked away with nothing left on the race course. It was epic.
Sunday....was a shit show. After a terrible morning, I once again laced up and took all of the confusion, sadness, and sense of emptiness to the roads to do what I do when I can't solve a problem - to breathe hard, put things in perspective, and figure out a way to deal with it.
Or sometimes, life deals with it. Through good friends and
Running....I love you. I just wish I didn't perform the best when I'm so emotional with you. Recovery pace? Maybe next week. For now, I'll admit I have a running problem. Running is my medication. My name is Rae and I'm addicted.
Weekly Mileage:
Running: 56
Biking: 25
Swimming: 5200 (yards)
Next week is the last higher mileage week, with a 14-16 long mile run and my last 50 plus mile week before the dreaded taper.....fingers crossed either life calms down and I can keep my shit together running wise while having a less dramatic life, or stay tuned as I jump out the window and hopefully land upright in my running shoes as I continue the dramatic art of escapism,.
Girl... you so got this,, 👊👊
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