You Spin Me Right Round

I have no idea why I even pretend any more.  

Whenever I find some really fantastic success that makes me feel all big and bad as an athlete, I get super excited and make a note to write a post.  I'm sure these (as few and far between as they are) are super appreciated by everyone.

WAY more often....I post about how I fall on my ass and attempt to get up (literally or figuratively.  Take your pick).  Somehow, these posts get way more traction and responses - apparently everyone loves hot mess Rae - whether you relate or I make you feel better about yourself, hey, I'm really glad to help!

So, let's keep em coming!

For everyone that appreciated my podcast or bike saga part eleventy billion, here's another gem for you.  I've explained how this year I've been getting back to basics on the bike. No more playing like I actually can ride.....I can't.  Time to stop bullshitting and fix it.  I've been going out to ride 4-5 times a week, whether it be a legit workout or more of a chill, skill building ride.  This has been allowing me to work on some bike speed, but more so taking a back seat to power improvement and work on becoming "one" with my bike.  

New race kit?

So, let's review, to date, my current bike race strategy "goals" for every race I've done since 2005:

1.  Not crashing or seriously maiming myself

2.  Not DNFing in the process

3. Finishing as quickly as my legs and mental idiocy allows

2021 deserves way better.  Way, way better.  While mulling over all the things I need to work on, I talked it over with a friend, who (join the party, bro) is as ever confused about my idiot mental block.  He fondly recalled the first day he got aero bars on his bike and immediately went out to play around with them....and never looked back.  As I was explaining how this blew my mind, the both of us may as well have been speaking foreign languages to each other. How I envy that ease it must be to just....enjoy the damned bike ride.  Man, that sounds fun.  And it got me thinking..... I wish I could be that way....I wanna be a bike centaur.  Half woman, half bike, with the two simpatico.   

 It's not that I don't want to be better on the bike....I really, really do.  But think about the thing that terrifies you the most.  Then you get it. That's exactly how I feel every time I ride.

I went for en easy ride this morning, and started to think about some of the things that I spend real time worrying about that.....most athletes likely never even give a thought to while on the bike.  In case you want a glimpse into the hot mess that is me....In no particular order, here are a bunch of things spinning around in my mind for 99% of the ride....(and this is just in a 60 minute ride!!)

1.  Keeping my bike in a straight line...its NOT like riding a car.  Not at all.  

2.  Avoiding the branch or pothole ahead  if there's a car back...do I go into the road?  Risk a flat?  FUCK!

3.  Small Chain ring shifting.  This is a horrible experience that will either make me crash, drop a chain, or both.  Its a total disaster waiting to happen. I just won't do it.  

4.  Big chain ring shifting for a small hill...whats the point??  (I am getting better at this.  But I give it real consideration before wasting the effort that might make me swerve)

5.  How to take my left hand off without crashing my bike. One handed???  WHAT??

6.  What if the car behind me is pulling a trailer and doesn't realize its wider than they are??? OMFG what if there's no shoulder what do I do (This is horrible on Lake Rd)

7.  Yay!  I shifted.  Fuck, that shift sounded weird.  Why is it sticking?  Why didn't the bike actually shift??? If I mess with it, will I end up all over the road??  Probably.  Awesome.  Now my bike is grinding.  Right.  I wont shift again.  Ever. That's much smarter.

8.  My nose itches.  Should I scratch it or should I just leave it for the next ten miles so I don't have to ride one handed? Yeah....I'll do that.  Nose itches - mental HTFU!

9.  Shit, I have to right turn.  Should I hand signal?  Can I do that without dying?

10.  Shit, now I have to turn.  I know I should bend my right knee into the turn but what if I fall over?? I'll just go super slow and brake through it all.

11.  Shit, I have to left turn.  Yeah, I can't signal for that.

12.  Shit, now I have to look over my shoulder before left turning four hundred times to quadruple check that there are no cars a half mile back so I can get into the road.  Its windy.  I cant hear shit.  

13.  Shit, what if I have to stop?? This is not good.  I'll pray there are no cars.  Or ride 2mph to wait them out. Yep.  Maybe that'll help. Hopefully I won't tip over.

14.  I've been riding for 15 miles and my left hand is totally numb.  How am I going to finish this ride?  What if I have to brake?  Crap. I literally can't even feel it.  This is not good.

15.  OMG - my hydro aero straw isn't working and/or is totally out of my reach to grab without using my hands.  FUCK.  Guess I'm not drinking during this ride! It's a 30 mile ride?  Well hot damn.  That's gotta be some sort of race prep strategy right?  RIGHT???

15.  Dropping into aero....oh hell no.  How do I steer with my elbows? I'm wobbly. 

16....what if a car comes and I need to move out of the way while in aero??

17....what if there's a pothole and i need to actually steer in aero to avoid it???

18....what if.....OMG.  just...no. Fuck aero. I'm riding the hoods.

19.  Shifting while going fast.....or downhill....OMG how do I take a hand off to accomplish this???? I'm going 30mph!  I'll DIE!!

20.  How in the hell do I eat one handed on the bike?  Fuck it.  I'll just pour in more tailwind. I needed to drop a few to get to race weight.

21. What is the air force velocity of an unladen swallow??  (IDK.  We needed SOME humor here.)

Wow.  That's ridiculous.

BUT.....lest you think there is no hope, I think there might be.  Here are a few things I don't think about as of this year, as a direct result of screwing on my balls and just. fucking. riding. 

1.  Clipping in with relative ease...I don't sit there for 10 minutes hoping I can take off without crashing.  (Well, I thought I had that one till I rode last weekend with my two best friends.  Yep.  I totally planted 15 miles in.  No.  I don't wanna talk about it).

2.  Shifting in the big chain ring while doing a small hill or downhill that's a decent length.  (I used to ride my 17 mile Lake Rd loop in one gear.  I didn't stutter).

3.  Riding next to someone without freaking out or making them ride in front of me.  Sometimes I even pull or ride on the outside.  I often can have a conversation while riding.  This is supposed to be fun....I'm getting there!

4.  looking up and enjoying the scenery - did you know that there is pretty awesome scenery in the finger lakes/Lake rd/WNY?  It's gorgeous! (Yep.  That was sarcasm).

5. Drinking from my torpedo without thinking about it too much.  (Sometimes I miss.  Apparently this is funny, but hey, I'm trying.  I used to wait for the perfect second to drink....now I drink...when I'm thirsty.  What a concept).

6.  Switching on my bike computer or off while riding.  I used to start it in my driveway and stop it after I stopped.  Now I do so while coasting down or up my road.  Yep.  Riding one handed.  I'm a badass.

7.  Passing someone riding that's slower than me in a road that's open to traffic.

8.  Navigating potholes and tree branches when there's no traffic..i.e., um steering my bike.  At least on Lake Rd where I know all the potholes. 

9.  Standing climbs.

10.  Controlled stops that I know are coming with plenty of room (I really can dismount when I know it's coming up.  It's not a flying dismount or even a pretty one, but it works). 

11.  The concept of pedaling when cars pass me (unless its one with a scary trailer that's about 25 feet wide, which there were approximately 20 of in my one hour ride today. WTF)

12.  Riding in wind (gusts of 30 mph are still scary, but not I'm gonna cry and throw up scary).  I've learned to handle 10-15 mph winds with minimal cursing and not fighting it.  

13.  Pitched camber roads (Holt Rd used to terrify me to ride on for this reason and I thought I was gonna tip over every time I rode).  

14.  Riding with my hands poised over the brakes every. second.   I actually let go most of the time rather than thinking I need to stop every single second.

15.  Descending without braking.  Sometimes I even shift into the right gear so I go faster.  What??

16.  The sheer terror of the thought of getting on the bike....sometimes it's even fun (I know...who knew??)

So.  Now you know more about the crazy brain of Rae and her bike.  And you know what they say about that, right?

Go, Joe! Sorry, I'm a child of the 80's.  I can't help it.

And the epic journey continues.....

C'Mon and Ride It (The Train...errr... Bike)

Well, the jig is up.  Despite my insistence to be a bumbling around mess of an athlete, I somehow managed to come across as slightly bad ass, landing myself on a certified podcast.  Northeast Athlete, a podcast dedicated to exploring local athletes across the Northeastern United States likely needed some comic relief for their listeners sought me out as an accomplished, experienced athlete for one of their episodes!  I know.  I was a little concerned by their definitions, as well. But hey, I'll act like a fool on camera for anything, so I readily agreed!

If you've been a long time reader, most of this won't be news, but if you've got an hour to kill, check it out !  Jacob, the guy that interviewed me, spent quite a bit of time asking about my training tips regarding running, swimming, (HAH!) and biking (double hah!).  I gave him the best answers I had, which might be useful to approximately two people (you're welcome) and humorous to the rest of you.

Needless to say, the poor guy was probably looking for something more insightful regarding my three favorite bike workouts than what he got....(Spoiler alert!)

1.  The one where I don't crash

2.  The one where I don't have to stop

3.  The one where I don't have to shift or ride in Aero.

Cripes, Rae.  Get it together.  This fear of the bike thing has been way overblown.  WAY overblown. And while 2020 certainly hasn't been the year to chase dreams in terms of PR's (you need races for that!), it really has been a year to step back and get back to basics.  For me, it was the bike.  Earlier on this summer, I was so darn proud of myself  of getting out to ride my bike twice a week (NOT ON THE TRAINER!!) , while keeping my sanity and running almost every day.  Really, I was killing it.  C'mon, look at me, riding my bike!  Outside!

Right.  During one of the conversations I had with my *pseudo* (only dubbed as such cause he's letting me do my own thing until it's time for Ironman training) coach, amidst all my self congratulating on these amazing 10 mile rides twice a week, he bluntly asked me when I was going to stop playing and work my weaknesses for real.

Dumbfounded, I told him that was EXACTLY what I was DOING.....HELLO! (was he not paying attention??)  He paused for a minute (why does this man put up with me??) and carefully replied "Since when does doing something twice a week make any significant change?"

Mic drop.  What perfect sense.  I was, as usual, going around in my little Rae world, working what I liked to best and avoiding the scary bike in the corner.  Dammit.  I both love and hate it when he's right (which is usually the case).

So I made the most intelligent decision at the time and showered him with legit reasons excuses as to why I couldn't bike more.  I don't ride more.... because it takes more time to get ready.  Duh.  It is so NOT the fear of riding.  NOT the cars.  NOT the fact that Webster is windier than Kansas in a tornado (it's not, I'm prone to hyperbole).  NOT the fact that my legs were tired.  NOT. 

Running....I posited....took 2 minutes to prep.  Shoes.  Shorts.  Bra. Visor.  Hit start on the garmin.  GO!

So he casually asked me how long it took for me to get ready to go for a ride.  I replied....at least twenty minutes.

Now it was his turn for a jaw drop.  No way, he countered.  Takes me...2 minutes.  And with that, I laughed.  Alright, I said....lets put this one to a test.  You prep your ride, I'll prep mine, let's write down the steps and time it takes and we will compare.

So, with SCIENCE on the line, we conducted an oh so well executed "experiment" of how long it takes to get ready to ride a bike.

Ride one involved a prep time for the Banter (AKA the coach)  of 5 minutes and 40 seconds (he posits there was some sort of spousal white knighting that made it take longer, but whatever).  His easy steps:

1.  Change clothes

2.  Pee

3.  Start Garmin up to locate satellites

4.  Get water

5.  Pump up tires (every other ride)

6.  Go

Simple enough, right?  This assumes all ride gear is good to go (usually is for me too) and we haven't ridden in a few days (or step five might not be necessary - which I digress, I always check, but this is his set of steps, not mine, so we will let it be).  

Ride one for our hero Pants (yep, that's me) clocked in at a 24 minute prep.  This again, assumes normal behavior.  Here are my easy steps to go on a bike ride:

1.  Check the weather

2.  Check windy.com to see which way the wind is blowing

3.  Debate if the weather is perfect enough for a ride.  I see there is a 5% chance of rain three hours out.  Seems risky.

4.  Ditto for windy.com.  ESE winds of 8mph seems kinda dangerous to me.  (It's not). 

5.  Get bike off trainer.  

6.  Clean hands from copious amounts of grease accumulated from step 5.

7.  Change bike wheel

8. Bring bike upstairs

9.  Pump up tires

10.  Turn on bike computer

11.  Check power meter.  Re calibrate (yes, every ride).

12. Check brakes...back and front.  

13.  Add enough water to both bike hydration bottles to provide for possible trip to Africa.

14.  Change into bike kit

15.  Get ID, money, snacks, and the kitchen sink just in case I need it.  

16.  Realize said packed "just in case" stuff does not fit in jersey pockets.  Change.

17.  Sunscreen up (lube is for wussies)

18.  Helmet and bike shoes on

19.  Braid or low pony tail hair.

20.  pee

21.  Wipe down glasses so they don't fog

22.  Double check weather and windy.com in case the forecast or radar or wind changed in 17 minutes.  It hasn't.

23.  Double check brakes in case they failed in 12 minutes.  They haven't

24.  Lock door and wheel bike out

25.  Mount bike.  Pray.

26.  Look both ways for cars

27.  Pray again.  Quell stomach queasiness and deep breathe to get heart rate down and debate a quick run to the store.  We are totally out of canned black beans and there could be an emergency need.

28.  Debate peeing again

29.  Curse and turn on bike computer

30.  Look both ways for cars again.....check 3 miles in each direction to ensure there are no cars ANYWHERE in New York State on the road (can Cuomo fix that for me?)

31.  Heave a big sigh, clip in, roll out and try not to fall while clipping in to my second pedal.

31 easy steps, right?  My first attempt, I was out the door in 24 minutes, which means I'm either damned efficient with that many steps (woot, multi tasking!) or...um....we had a big problem.

Ever the problem solver, I turned to my trusty group of training buddies.  I surveyed five of the guys I ride with, including the husband.  Once we established that ride prep did not include pooping (which adds 15 minutes, did you know that??) they all came back at about 10 minutes of prep, averaged together.  This told me two things.

1.  My coach is not human (I knew this).

2.  I had some work to do.....

I vowed to do two things.  One being to get my damned self on the bike five days a week, cause if I wanted to be a bike beast, I clearly needed to C'mon and Ride it!  (The bike).  More rides = more efficient prep time and less freak out time (theoretically).  And two, to time myself for the first week to see how close I could get to the Average Joe...or Greg...or Matt time....OR how close I could get to the super human banter bike prep time.  It was so on.

Ride 2 - Out the door in 14 minutes.  I chose the right outfit, checked weather once, and cut out steps 5-8 and 26- 28.

Ride 3 - Out the door in 6 minutes!  6!!!  This one, I didn't check the weather at all.  I also brought one water bottle, had my bike already in the garage good to go, and cut out steps 5-8, and 26-30 - including forgetting to turn on my damned computer.  Whoops. 

Ride 4:  4 MINUTES!  4!!!  I was so excited about this prep  I forgot to be nervous!!  I have no idea how I accomplished this one, but with this feat, I had proved my point to myself and was now done with the experiment.  I doubt I'll ever get down to the mythical "2 minutes" but this was a sound stopping point. 

The point of this is....you can have an excuse for anything.  And if you want it bad enough....your desire has to outweigh your fear.  It did.  With that, I vowed to keep at it, riding 4-5 times per week.

I started this experiment about a month ago - I'm pleased to say that in the last 30 days, I've ridden my bike twenty one times.  That's probably more outdoor rides than I did in all of 2019, save for races.

One small car back on track for the train wreck that is my bike, right?  

I think I can, I think I can...