My Name's Blurry Face (and I (usually don't) care what you think

It's been one heck of a week.  Not in terms of the baby hasn't slept, Greg blew the mortgage money buying igloos for the sauna and the toddler is throwing dynamite at the cat but....in terms of life.  I usually have this blog down pat, right? Run, run. run, healthy recipe, coupon, baby cuteness.  Repeat.  It's a nice little hobby that honestly captures my life 99% of the time.  It works.

For all my friends and family that are parents of rugrats...you get it.  You basically play referee and catch with your spouse for 20 hours a day trying to juggle everything that life throws at you without fucking up too badly.  Have I eaten today?  Showered?  Are the kids alive?  can I pay the (ridiculously increasing) water bill?  Check, check check.  If there's time....shoes on for a run.  If there's really time...maybe a kiss or hug to that vaguely familiar man over there that my son looks like.  Who is he again?  I forget.  Meh.  He pays half the mortgage, so I guess he can live here.  But only if he holds the baby so I can do 43 things at once that should have been done yesterday.

Welcome to my world.  And I'm seriously not complaining.  99% of the time I look at my life and think...How did I get so lucky?  When I was 22 16 8 and dreaming about my future when I was a "grown up" it looked like this.  If I was lucky.  Two kids, a house, a hubby, a good job, friends, and hobbies.  I am one lucky girl.

But then there are days.  And people.  It seems that this week just sorta married every single stupid button that could be pushed.  Nighttime is party time, not sleep time.  We have sniffles.  Work has been a stressball.  And to top it off, my one stress relief has been compromised... my Achilles seems to think now is a good time to be acting up. Which it has never done before, but it seems kind of fitting, no?

The "heel" of it all...I had coffee with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time the other day.  I respect this person and genuinely had a great time with her - it's always good to catch up.  But during the conversation, it naturally turned to a discussion about our current lives...and they really couldn't be more different.  She isn't married, lives in a rented townhouse, and goes out every weekend on the town. She has a kick ass job that easily pays twice what I make....and a better degree, natch.  It's crazy how different we can be when 10 years ago we had the same starting point.  Anyways.  The date evolved into a discussion about politics, current events, and the nightlife in Rochester.  I'm sad to say I'm batting zero for three there.  As she sat and discussed her last Friday night and how Bernie Sanders will save our country from the abomination it is now...I felt...stupid.  and irrelevant.  Of course, I didn't let that on (and she doesn't read here so my sort of venting is safe), but I was more than dejected as I walked away from the night.

Am I shorting myself?  I don't think so.  I will admit that sometimes my knowledge of current events doesn't extend beyond what I see in my news feed or who got changed last....and that my view on politics is right now, dim at best.  I participated in a survey the other day that asked me who I would vote for if the election was RIGHT NOW...and I would honestly have to abstain.  (I picked someone because you had to (don't ask, Im embarrassed) but I wouldn't cast my vote unless I knew the issues well, which I won't until it's time to cast that ballot).  I don't have a degree beyond my BS, and I'm sure sometimes that degree is BS.  (Yes, boss, I know.  I know.)  I leapfrog day to day...getting things done that need to be done RIGHT NOW...at work, at home, and for me personally.  But that whole "What will things look like in 5 years" sometimes eludes me.

 I used to think about things like that on my long runs but right now, sometimes it's nice to just to zone out to the latest 21 Pilots album and just think about silly things like...I wonder what 8 hours of sleep feels like?  Or....What is date night again? When I'm feeling frisky I remember not so long ago when I would get ready with my roommate and hit up Murphy's Law to check out that hot guy that OMG bought me a drink last night and...I smile fondly.  That was so much fun.

Then I turn a corner, see my house (with the Christmas lights still up) and head into the chaos.  I change a diaper.  I grab a glass of milk RIGHT before it falls off the table.  and then I trip over our dumb but loveable cat who insists on sleeping right in the middle of the damn stairs as I run upstairs to take a 5 minute shower.

And I realize...I love my chaos.  and I'm certainly glad that someone gets to go to the bar on the weekend...and that people are interested in politics and the current issues that are relevant to our country.  I'll get there.  But there are two littles right now that I'm too busy loving on right now, a husband that needs my hugs and skills at making a veggie lasagna that I got all the ingredients on sale for (early mortgage payoff?) and a team at work that appreciates it when I figure out how to get us all fully employed by some very creative budget techniques.

It takes all kinds.  And even though she wouldn't ever tell me, I suspect my friend might just envy my messy "just so" hairstyle (ummm, right) and my Cornell hoodie fashion statement circa 2000.  Cause when I get home, I might not have that hot guy from the bar, but I have the hot guy that gave me the two most perfect kids in the world and also (pretends to) love the way I look at 10pm when I'm passed out on the couch, glasses on, drooling.

And I feel better.

Baby Ducks

Disclaimer and warning - this is a brain dump of a post :-).  How was everyone's weekend?  It's been interesting around here - seems as if 2016 is off to a year full of extremes.  We started out with a crazy home emergency (more on that once it is resolved, still in the middle of this debacle) then moved on to some pretty amazing news (again, more later, sorry to keep hanging) and a few nutso kiddo transitions.  Biz had her 4 month checkup and passed with flying colors (yay for our 80th percentile kiddo) but she and Rob have both been under the weather, which means that both of them want to be held all the time and there has been a distinct lack of sleep at casa Glaser.  We also have decided to rethink our child care arrangement, so Rob is in his last week of daycare.  I have quite a few thoughts on that I'll put into a full post, but right now Dad is still home and we have signed Rob up for swimming and creative moevement, and are looking into preschool enrollment.  It's a mix of bills and a good environment for him....it just wasn't working anymore.  Parenting.  It does NOT come with a manual, lol.

soooo tired,

That being said, the first rush of winter weather has hit our neck of the woods, so home bound we are.  I'm in week 6 of ultra training and....I'm struggling.  I posted a month ago about my plan for Mind the Ducks/100k goal, and even though the race is almost 4 months away, I'm rethinking things already.

My dream goal was to get 4 runs in a week - 2 for about an hour (6-7 miles), one mid distance run (8-12 miles) and one long run (12-31 miles, getting progressively longer).  I felt that the trick was to do the long run back to back with the mid or short run, but because there is no way I can run for 2-6 hours straight with two kiddos each week, to break it up.  So if I had a long run of 20 miles, to do 3 runs of 5-7 miles each to get to 20 within the same day. That way, I get used to starting back up on tired legs as I am training for a 12 hour event.

I started off well - last weeks long run was 14 miles and I managed to even do it on a work day - 6 miles during lunch and 8 in the early hours (I am lucky enough that most days I can take a lunch whenever or flex my schedule).  Week before 16 miles - 5 before work, 6 during lunch, 5 after the kids were in bed).  This week's run was 20.  It was supposed to be yesterday, and we had a sick kiddo that wanted to be held forever.  Last week's run was 18.  Work crisis.  Dammit.

I'm a little bit unsure how of how to proceed - I might just aim for a certain number of miles per week at this point.  Its a crapshoot plan....no one makes training plans for crazy 12 hour races, so Ive been following a 100k plan.  I'm starting to think this was not one of my smarter ideas, to do an ultra with a 3 year old and an 8 month old, but I'll figure it out.  I suppose as you get more into this whole double parenting thing you look at your plans and laugh (Woody Allen was a smart man).  I'm really good at it in other respects, but am truly terrible at missing training runs.  I suspect failure immediately.  And while it's true that I will certainly need a good base and endurance to be happy and successful at this ultra....it's 4 weeks away.  Give it a rest, Rae.

For any of you ultra runners....how do you juggle this?  Any training tips?

The Bizzle: 4 months old

Well here we are girly Q....another month down!!  Let's do it.

Likes:

Your brother.  He is still your bestest bud.  Your bumbo seat - you love being a "big kid" and sitting at the table with Rob, Dad and Mom!!  Bathtime.  As long as you are splashin in the tub with mom and bro...you are so happy.  You love kicking your little leggos :) You also love your cow rattle and your circle teether....you are getting so good at grasping and you actually snuggle up to a few of your smaller stuffies and hold them when you;re in the  bouncer!!  You also like food.  Alot.  You stare us down every time we have the nerve to eat in front of you...you want some!!!  We did try a little bit of cereal just to see what you would do yesterday....you actually ate it!!  It's still way too early to have any regular food intake of course, and we know that, but as usual, you are full steam ahead.  Smiles.  You smile and laugh at everything - we have nicknamed you the happiest baby on the planet.  We are so lucky.

Dislikes:

Not much.  You still resent us at dinner time, and I don't blame you.  You hate being left out of anything.  You have started sitting with us at the table in your bumbo, which helps.  You also hate the gas master.  You must have a delicate system...you fart like a trucker.  Poor girl.  (yep, i put that on the internets.  So sorry kiddo).  You also hate tummy time like any kiddo, but it's doing you well- you flip from front to back like a champ and are working on back to front.  My little wonderwoman.

Sleep:

Not bad, girly q.....you are still around 6 hours a stretch...usually 8pm-2am.  You feed then do some snugs and usually are back out till 5 or 6.  Some rougher nights. but we're ok.  If life could shut itself off, dad and i would be perfect, but we do slug the caffeine with the 4 hours we get a night :-P

Eating:

Every parent should be so lucky.  No issues.  Ever.  as long as the cow or moo juice are near you every 3 hours, you love it.  No supply issues, no infections, no strikes,  I am the luckiest momma.

Milestones/Firsts:  

First back to front roll: December 14.  And now you do it like a champ :)
First grasping - December 20.  You love your cow, circle teether and dog rattle, and hold them like a champ
First Christmas - You had no clue, but handled the insanity well....and two days in dresses :-)  Don't worry...I won't subject you to that girly crap forever...trust me.
First back to front roll-January 4th.  Rockstar.

Best Moment of the Month:
Starting 2016....with the best baby, my awesome son, and Dad of the year.  I love my little family so much and thank my stars every day for being so incredibly lucky and blessed.

Looking Forward to:
Playing in the snow (almost time for our annual winter (cabin) camping...your first Superbowl (go kitties) and as always, my bixa snugs.

Oh, this is the start of something good

Where did Christmas go?

Don't you agree?  Love that song.  When Greg and I first started dating, he put this song on the first mixed CD he made me.  (Holy hell, was that really 11 years ago???).  Anyways.  Welcome to my "I don't make resolutions on January 1 post.  Too stressful.  actually, I don't make them, period.  But I always like the cleansing feeling of a brand new year.  Much like sharpened pencils, Lisa Frank binders, and new Jansport backpacks every September (c'mon, you know you remember those) January brings the promise of trying to be a better you.  Whatever that means.

and while I have no goals to work out every single day or save my money (wait, I am lame and n=do that anyways), I have a few small goals I would like to incorporate into my everyday living in 2016:

Yep, that's km.  I'm a moron.

1.  Physical -  5 minutes of stretching.  25 crunches.  25 pushups.  Every day.  I would love to master the pull up by the end of the year, but I am a little wussy girl and can barely bang out 10 "real" pushups.  On it.  I also used to be able to do the splits with regularity, and while running has made me healthier...it's made me so terribly inflexible I can barely touch my toes.  My old ballet teacher would not be proud.  Running wise I would love to be able to do 2016 miles in 2016....but we shall see.  last time I said that, I ended up knocked up two weeks later so....there's that.  In other news, I'm super proud of my 3700 biking miles for 2015.  Some jokester (looking at you Dale) asked me in 2014 if I meant to say km instead of miles.  Well, no....but, I did get my bike computer stuck on km in January and didn't notice it until the end of the month, and no way was I giving up my 300 miles to reset that bitch.  So yeas, I cycled in km all year.  Don't judge.  I'm well equipped for my travels abroad, thankyouverymuch.

2. Mental - While my physical goals center on speeding up, mentally, I am aiming to slow down.  To enjoy the moments istead of playing race director.  (I refuse to do this in my private life.  Work is another story.).  I have the most beautiful family, and while Greg and I are pretty good at throwing caution to the wind and making messes and memories, I want to...jump in more mud puddles.  allow chocolate before carrots (...errr...I NEVER do that now).  and to snuggle.  With my toddler.  With my baby.  And most of all, with my husband.  Two bubbies leave little time for the married set, but we try.....and need to keep doing that.  after all, I'm stuck with this psycho even after the kids leave, I retire, and quit racing.  (Ok, the last one won't happen.  And I love you, babe).

Here's to a wonderful, happy new year for all of us...2016 is going to be the best year ever,I just know it.