Cascade Marathon: I lived

 It appears I'm at least 2 months behind on this shit - is it even relevant anymore?  I have no idea.  But in the land of 2024, escpecially racing - anything goes, so this is the whole, I came, I saw, I sort of conquered race report for Cascade!

It's brief - and follows a theme.  This was genuinely the year of "Eff it" decisions.  I wanted no structure, a break from long multisport, and that quickly transitioned to a "that sounds dumb, I'm in" mindset.  Not many people would equate four tris, a duathlon, two marathons and a 24 hour race to date as "off" but hey, its me.  You get it.

This adventure was brought on by the quest of the "2024 red flag candidate of the year" runner dude to break 3 hours for the marathon, and I was along for the ride.  I signed up a month in advance (foreshadowing - this would not be the dumbest thing I've done this year), threw together a few long runs, and booked a flight into Seattle arriving Friday, for a Saturday marathon and flying home Sunday night.  What could possibly go wrong??

The course was lauded as gorgeous, a net 1500 ft descend (you read that right) and the weather a balmy 70 degrees.  I flew out without incident (my first plane ride since 2019 - WHAT) and we hit up the hotel and Mexican for dinner (idiot).  

Race morning dawned at 4am, but really 7am, so it was all good.  I put almost zero planning into this race, drank a maragartia the night before with my tacos (idiot) and danced around the room like a moron singing and loading up my gels.  Some people have a fuck ton of patience for me, and even if they are giant walking red flags, I'm grateful for them :-P

We drove to the start, where my running partner made quick work of warming up and doing other serious runner type things, while I took selfies and entered a giveaway for $1,000 or a new porta potty (true story) and befriended a guy wearing a snoopy bathroobe from florida. (Hi Will!)

I ate my bagel, banana and applesauce and headed to the start...it was already muggy as shit but who cared - the PNW is so damned goreous and I was loving every second of it.  Without much fanfare - we were off! 

I had little in the way of goals for this race - I havent trained with any speed in mind since Texas in 2023, so a 3:45 seemed more than alright to me.  With that being said, I was encouraged to start out at BQ marathon pace, which was 7:55-8:00 minute miles.  This was actually - no problem.  The first 5 miles were a gentle downgrade out and upgrade back - the only bummer was it was all on a rail trail with rocks (and - that was the whole course.  Ooops).  I smiled, enjoyed the scenery, and made quick friends with a dude from Texas named Josh who was running with the 3:30 pacer and singing and calling out all encouraging things.  YASSS, I found my running buddy!  We chatted and ran alongside each other, and at mile 6 - entered the tunnel!

Coolest part about this race - 2.5 miles was in a tunnel.  You needed a headlamp for it, and it was PITCH black.  As I started this segment, I was dumbfounded by how dark it was - then realized...I was still wearing my sunglasses.  Fail.  LOL.  After I laughed at my own expense (I'm good at that) I smiled like a little kid running through the tunnel and yelled out TUNNEL! before exiting into the sunshine at mile 9.

The mid portion of the race was pretty uneventful, I ran with Josh and his friend Ashely, who we kept trying to find a date for, yelling out every mile and in general being super goofy. I was AMAZED how fast the miles ticked by and was having the best time.  Despite this, I kept it right between 7:50-8:00 without any problem until mile 17 and I foolishly had a PR in mind when....the ish hit the fan.

Literally.  Theres a reason you dont eat Tacos the night before a race, and here we were.  I will spare the details, but there were bushes and some swear words involved, and the last 8-9 miles were a little...interesting.  My stomach cramped and the GU's were no longer helpful (I think this is actually a thing I need to look at after Candlelight - different nutrition) and so that pipe dream of a 3:28 was in fact, a two hour dream.  Easy come easy go. Despite my mad body, I still fell in love with the scenery of the course - the mountains were amazing, and the whole idea of being able to just do what I love for the weekend was something that I'll never forget to enjoy.  I crossed the finish in 3:36, good enough for a 2025 and 2026 BQ (at the time of the race LOL), and a dumbass grin on my face. All in all, it was a great race - the terrain was not my fave (mild trail, no consistent footing ever, but still, downhill soooo cant complain!)

Post race, I caught up with Mister Red Flag, who got his sub 3 (handily, I might add) and Josh and crew, who gave me a huge hug and invited me to Texas anytime I wanted. More race besties for life.

A race for a PR?  Nope.  Would I change it?  Also, nope.  The rest of the weekend was spent eating our way through Pike place, the space needle, and every other thing Seattle could offer and more.  Amazing.

So what's next?  Tricky question, my friends.  Since this race in September, I did a formula one du, where I learned that actually riding your bike more than a dozen times in a year is helpful, as well as knowing how to mount it (whoops).... and then figured I'd round out the year by hobby jogging a 5k this weekend at Grocery run, where I was apparently cool enough to get a free entry by coming in second last year.

But the truth is, what I figure doesn't usually happen, especially in 2024 - and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

So post Grocery, Ill be doing a 7 day taper (does it count as taper if you don't train?)  then heading to Harris burg PA for November 9-10.  What's in Harrisburg?  Two of my best friends, a dumpster fire, and a marathon.  Like an idiot (again, a theme)I signed up two days ago.  I've done exactly two long runs since September 7th.  What could possibly go wrong?  Stay tuned....

The ROC tri 2024:I don't know about you.....but I'm feelin 22

Two tris in a week? Maybe I need to re-assess this whole "2024 is not the tri year" stance!

Nah, I don't.  I've played this game the last three years - back to back P man and the Roc tri.  Its for a few reasons - both races are so much fun and basically a party to attend, I've been fortunate enough to secure a comp entry, and add in a dash of "why the hell not" and you get your easy answer :)

Last weekend was the Roc tri, a great event put on by the RATS (Rochester Area triathletes) and one I've raced in at least half a dozen times.  I've won it twice (last year a CRAZY 2 second dead on sprint to the finish) and while i knew that wasn't in the cards this year, I love these events so much and any excuse to go play with my friends on the beach (Thanks Jordan!) is a good one to me.

Six days out from P man and with um, another race on my calendar upcoming (spoiler alert), the goal for the Roc was just to spin out my wheels (pun intended) and have fun!

Race morning was perfect - a glass calm lake, easy transition pick up, and just a minor bike mechanical that was easily fixed by the Towpath guys (Thanks Rob!) I headed into transition, set my shit up, then hung out with the best sherpa and all the best friends a girl could ask for. Bear, my boo, marked my calf as a joke, which took me far too long to catch on to #not22 #feelin22 #morelike42  We danced, laughed, caught up, and had so much fun I almost missed the call to the race start.  Whoops.  #soseriousrae

Swim: 14:43 (1:54yd)

The swim for the sprint was an easy out and back with a short turn around - basically you could touch sand the whole time.  I set no records (duh) and expended zero energy on the swim, save for a few minutes in the beginning just getting used to the water because I didn't warm up (totally on me).  I exited the water with a smile on my face (I KNOW) and ran up the hill and toward my bike!

Bike: 36:02 (20.0 mph)

I really do love this bike course - I helped craft it in 2022.  Its totally closed to cars, a 6 mile loop that has enough rollers and one hill to keep you honest, but enough downhill to be fun and carry you through.  The course is super spectator friendly, so my support got to see me four times (and during the mount line for way the fuck too luong because apparently, I'm even cooler when people are watching me #mountlinefail).  Aside from taking way too long to clip in (the mount line was really short and narrow with gravel sides, and I even saw some "pros" look a little wobbly) the bike was pretty awesome.  I never felt like I had any serious speed, but I was able to push it in spots and enjoy the free speed downhill. 

 It was awesome to see my course support all over the damned place, and aside from some bar tape that managed to unravel like an 8 year olds streamer on a bike, the ride was awesome (that has to count for at least 1 mph right??  LOL)

Run: 23:06 (7:28/mi)

Zooming into T2, I wasn't sure how far back I was from the leaders, but I knew at least one woman was in front of me - again, a swimmer I always run out of road for (do we sense a theme, Rae? LOL).  I just grabbed my shit and RAN!  

This run course is probably hands down my favorite local tri run, and it has zero to do with the layout and everything to do with the fact that is SUCH a damned party.  On my way out, I saw the super fast guys, including Jordan, Scott, Marcus and Ryan, who were hauling ass and making it look good!!  I didn't see another woman until I saw Sue about 2 minutes ahead, which I expected - she swims way faster than me and also is a stronger cyclist this year and as always, my run legs cant catch that - at least not this year! :-P

I high fived, danced, and had a great time while hitting a nice tempo speed, which is about all my legs gave me, considering I had run 16 miles just two days before (why, Rae?  That's a great question and we can talk about that shortly LOL).  Heading into the last quarter mile I saw the sherpa and got a "hey, try running why don't ya " and for the second time in two years, flipped the bird as I laughed into the finish line.

Post race, we hung around and caught up, and waited for awards - I snagged 3rd overall female (the womans winner started a few minutes back, which is the one bummer of a rolling start). I was pleased with the race - tall 3 disciplines were executed well given the fitness I had, and I honestly got what I deserved.  My overall time of 1:17 is 3 minutes off my PR, and for a year of little tri training, I will take it.

2025.  Ill be back.

So wjhats next?  A 5k on September 1 at my alma mater, SUNY Geneseo, which is purely for kicks and to help out Road Kill, and then....well...

A marathon.  Next weekend.  In Seattle.  Because why would I do smart things??  Stay tuned!!

Peasantman 2024: I get by (with a little help from my friends)

And, welcome back to the official tri blog.  Oh shit, that was actually the point of this once upon a time, wasn't it??  Oops.  Well, suffice to say, its been pretty obvious that 2024 was not the year for tris.  And I made peace with that awhile ago.  It's really twofold - I hit the gas so hard from 2021-2023 to qualify for all the things that 2024....needed a step back.  And with the way life has turned out this year, its so much easier to throw on running shoes and go for pavement therapy than line up a long ride or swim to give a shit.  And thats okay. Balance?

Despite my reluctance to actually train for multisport, I still LOVE racing it - mostly because the people are just amazing and what could be better than playing with friends?  There are two races that are always on my August calendar - Peasantman and the ROC tri.  Last year I was fortunate enough to sweep a win for both, which gave me free entry for 2024.  And while I wasn't expecting a three-peat win, I was game to go see what kind of fast I could pull off with my bullshit swimming and less rides for the year than I could count on two hands.  What could possibly go wrong? (Uh Rae - you say that way too much to be considered healthy). 

Peasantman was up first!  Since my ultra, I really hadn't been doing much - bullshit runs and a few rides and some swims.  I honestly had a hard time recovering from Candlelight - I think the mix of the miles, stress, heat and lack of food was an issue.  I got sick for a week or two post race, and really haven't felt the best since, so I accepted it and just did what my body let me do.  So I had zero expectation for P man but FUN.

I've raced the Olympic tri for this event for the past two years - this year I dropped down to the sprint for a few reasons - kiddo logistics and quite frankly, I wasn't really trained enough on the bike to drop a 30 mile ride that I felt good about.  I'd never done the sprint, but heard great things about it.  I'm lucky enough to race for First Knight, and Peasantman is really the best this sport has to offer - four distances, a day of fun, low key but organized well, and an RD that just gets it.  You cant go wrong (spoiler alert - 2025 is gonna be BIG for this race - stay tuned!!)

Race morning brought rain and iffy conditions, much like Keuka.  Ryan and I travelled together in the a.m. - he was doing the Oly and looking for some redemption and me, I was just along to dance.  I felt a lack of race nerves and that was fine - again, its about acceptance of where you're at.  The rain let up shortly after we got into transition and I did what I always do - I hung out, joked, laughed, caught up with my athletes and in general just enjoyed the atmosphere.  I love running but tris just have this awesome family vibe that keeps it enjoyable.  Before I knew it, we were off to the swim start!

Swim - 12:58 (1:54/100)

The water was absolutely fantastic!  Just before we started, I met a fellow RAT (Rochester Area Triathlete) named Rachael I had heard a lot about - which was funny, because she said the same thing to me (not true, I swear, whatever it was!) I knew she would be my main "competition", whatever that meant, and was a sick swimmer.  Game on.  This race features a "mass start" for each distance, whichw as awesome in terms of knowing where you were in the race!  I swam my consistent, easy swim for the (roughly) 700 yards, exiting the water with a goofy smile on my face (so serious) and off to the bike!)

Bike - 44:02 (19.7 mph)

The bike course on the sprint is a simple out and back, with rollers each way and a nice descent before the turnaround where you can assess where you stand in the race.  The way out was pretty head-windy,  but not too bad - I have little basis for where my bike power is this year, so I went off feel and tucked into aero as best I could. As de rigeur since the ultra, my legs felt fine but I had little cardio stamina and oushed to my best.  Really, it was obvious again that I have not been training speed or the bike, and I got what I deserved here.  I saw Rachael, the speedy swimmer, about 4 minutes ahead as I hit the turnaround and knew I had been ridiculously outswam (not a shocker).  Happily, I saw no other women so we were gunning for second place, which was good for me!  The way back into T2 was full of some nice tailwind and speed! And I zoomed back, waving at the friends on their way out and smiling the whole way. 

Run - 23:09 (7:28)

As always, this is my fave.  As I hit T2, I saw Greg heading out for the run - he also did the sprint, and had a great swim and bike.  As we have always done, one of us is the rabbit, and we still playfully see if there is enough road for me to catch him.  I saw my awesome support cheering me on as I hit the run and smiled so big  - I am so lucky :) and it set the tone for my run.  A few weeks back, I had set my watch to KM splits as a joke in Canada, and never bothered to switch it back, so I hit KM 1 in 4:34 whatever the hell that means, and did some mental math as I ticked off the distance (I know - I'm a moron).  I caught Greg right before the turn around, and high fived him - he looked great and put together a strong race.  I knew Rachael was still about 3 minutes up and 3rd place was about 5 minutes back, so I focused on my cadence and just enjoyed the second half, high fiving everyone and dancing like I always do!  I hit the last hot corner and blew my buddy Joe, the RD, a smooch, and then hit the gas and ran it in for a time of 1:22:07, good enough for 2nd female and 4th overall including dudes!

Post race I was able to hang for a bit and cheer in my athletes - Greg finished strong about two minutes back, Laura ZOOMED into the finish in an epic battle with a woman from PA, Lani added some extra bike miles (that over acheiver) and Nina set a 4 minute PR!  I love these people so damned much and they are amazing!!!  I got knighted, celebrated with the First Knight crew, and just enjoyed, as always, every second.

While I'm bummed I lost my winning streak (I'll admit it!) I honestly am happy with the race.  I got seriously outswam and it cost me - something I need to work on if I want to compete at short distance.  But with the work I put in, and the way I've felt the last month, I'm pleased with the result.  The times will come and go, but the races are SO MUCH FUN and that's really what I'm after!

Six days later - the Roc tri was on!!.  Same distance, six days.....what happened? With a mischief (a group of RATs) anything could happen.....  Stay tuned :) 

My First 100 Miler: Lessons Learned

 Hey hey hey!  Here we are, two weeks post Ultra, and I finally have my shit together (well, relatively) to talk a little bit about lessons learned from Candlelight.  This post is a little different, hopefully helpful for those debating anything beyond 26.2.

When I signed up to race this 24 hour event, 6 weeks pre race (OMG) I had a few things going for me - coming out of Boston, I had a solid base from marathon training (roughly 60 miles per week), and had some experience with ultras (Mind the Ducks 12 hour in 2014, 2016, 2018).  However, it had been a hot minute since I had run anything beyond 26.2 (ish) and even though Ironman is a 11-14 hour event, it doesn't really compare.  So I needed to work on a few key things - my run distance fitness, my nutrition, my outfit/gear selection, and mental headspace.

Run Fitness:  I did pretty well with this one overall, and I honestly am not sure if I got lucky or the prep was sound.   To find a plan, I fired up the ole googler and found a plan that seemed to fit my life, then I trashed it and made my own plan based on what I knew of my body and what seemed reasonable.  For those trying out an ultra for the first time, I'm not sure I recommend the former, but I knew I needed three things - a decent weekly mileage, back to back longish runs, and a few "key days".  With the six weeks I had, I opted to do a two week build, recovery, build two more weeks, then taper down.  I added a bunch of back to back to back 12 milers, and two long runs of 22 and 40.  With hindsight, I probably would have done the first long run a bit slower, but the 40 miler gave me confidence for nutrition and time on feet - the run portion took 6.5 hours and just over 7 hours accounting for stops for food and bathroom. 

I flexed the plan a lot, and shook out with 6 days of running a week.  I added speed one day (mile repeats) and the rest was all sexy (slow) pace.  One thing I did not do well - I rarely ran goal pace (13-14 minute miles) and that might have helped me find my rhythm on race day - but honestly - with the weather the day of the race, I don't know that it would have mattered.  I was grateful to bank the miles early at the race and when my body shut down due to nutrition, I believe it was mostly due to the heat.  I also swam 3 days a week on this plan, which was clutch - it gave some good recovery and allowed me to work some other muscles.  I parked my bike in a corner for a month and this was also wise - I did not need to add more leg stress (though I'm not sure what to do with it now that I'm doing two tris in August LOL)

Nutrition - This, along with clothing, is a piece I need to work on.  I experimented a lot on my 22 and 40 miler, and felt good about my nutrition.  It included roughly 300 calories an hour, in the form of skratch superfuel, gels, clif minis, and then the "real food" - dried cherries, beef jerky, peanut butter sandwiches, and even a burger delivery plan for 7pm.  

I ditched most of that race day - with the heat as it was, the only thing I could stomach was gu and gu sports drink, and after 13 hours of that, my stomach rebelled.  I tried the burger and the pizza that was offered, and some ramen at 1am, but honestly, the last 11 hours of my race were all fueled by ginger ale and coke.  I threw up four times, and that's why I knew  by 1am my "running" was over.  

If I did this again, I would experiment more in race conditions to what my stomach could handle, and experiment more with two or three a day runs on this fuel.  

Clothing/shoes - This was a stumper.  What the hell do you wear for this long and for weather flux?  Darned if I knew.  My biggest problem was my best run shorts were just casual Coeur shorts - great for a marathon but probably chafe city for more.  My best tights fixed that, but who wears capris when its 90 degrees?  Top?  Sports bra, but what about the sun??  And shoes - I train and race in Saucony - Rides and pros.  They work for four hours but are not designed for trails OR ultras. And about those socks...

So, you go with what you know.  I wore a sports bra and shorts, which worked well for about 8 hours, then the amount of ice I dumped in my bra got so ridiculous no amount of friction defense would fix my crotch (sorry for the TMI, but it was straight up painful to pee, and no one on the course that was a male would lend me a...well, you know #girlprobs).  I changed into my capris at 9pm and that saved me, though it was HOT!  I did well with sunscreen and did not burn, and ended up wearing my old endorphin pro 3s that had way too many miles on them but a nice big toe box and were comfy - though they are shot now and I found a big rock in them post race that I ran in for who knows how many miles!!  And for the zillion dollar question - no, I did not race in socks.  I fixed a hot spot once, and ended the day with two blisters on my big toes, which was hella impressive in my book with how wet my feet got from ice!

Mental outlook - This is, hands down, in my opinion, the defining piece of my race and the one I am most proud of.  I'll say it until I am blue in the face - the longer the race, the more you need to deeply believe in your "why".  Even though I only had 6 weeks to prep and I admittedly signed up due to the

bad influence of another running friend, (are we shocked) 100 miles is something that I've always wanted to do, and in a year of who TF knows what I want, I figured why the hell not. 

 Throughout the whole race, I never wavered on what I wanted.  And that's the key.  Because the longer the race is, it becomes not a matter of "if" anything is gonna go wrong - its "when".  And plenty went wrong.  My stomach.  My crotch.  The heat. I got tired.  But I KNEW I had to get my hundred, and at 2am when my miles slowed to 18 minutes I just....kept moving.  Toward the goal that I would not let myself fail at unless my body gave out.  And I got lucky - it did not.  But the most important muscle I own - my brain - would not let it.

It's also the stupidest muscle I own, hence my continued bad decisions.  LOL.  But I dont regret this one - it was a lot of fun, I learned so much, and got to meet some amazing people!  Hopefully this post helped a few of you that are debating an ultra - I am always here if you have questions :)

So what's next?  A few local tris with the best people, and maybe a few more fuck it races for 2024. But my big goals are now set on 2025.  Stay tuned :)

Candlelight 24 Hour: You've Got me Running in Circles

Holy. Effing. Crazy. Batman!

If you know me outside of this venue, you at least know I am still alive.  For the rest of you, hey - its me - I didn't die at the 24 hour last week! (well- mostly LOL).

What an experience.  What a completely crazy day.  And since I want to run the fine line between sharing ALL the things (No, I will not re write Moby Dick) and sharing enough that's entertaining and helpful - we will break this in to two parts - 1.  The story - the race report, the thrills, the gross, and the fun. 2. The lessons learned - and there were a ton of them - if you are ever debating this insanity, I have some stuff to share of what to do and what for the love of god NOT to do.

But now, its time for the story!  When we last left off, I gave you the scoop - all the fuckery that led to this choice to see if I could run 100 miles in 24 hours.  Oof.  Race week was predictable - tired, caffeine deprived, watching the temp prediction rise up to the upper 80s for race day.  What could possibly go wrong??  Early o dark thirty, my friend Dave (another bad decision encourager named Dave - yay) and I loaded up his RV and headed out to Rush to set up shop.  We found a clutch spot at Tent city for our own personal aid station and lined up pretty much everything but the kitchen sink.  It was hot as balls out already and I knew I was gonna be in for a decent amount of outfit changes to stay dry.  I selected my first "I am serious runner" outfit (cupcake bra, watermelon shorts, tiara I promised to run one loop in - who TF is this woman??) and we headed to the start line! Amidst jokes about not getting lost and going nowhere fast, the RD announced GO! and Dave and I led the pack, kidding around that we at least were winning for two minutes.

The first hour was pretty uneventful - Since my overall goal pace was a 14:00ish to hit 100 miles, I knew I had to front load it slightly but not kill myself.  The problem is - in the beginning of a race, you feel fantastic!  It was already warm out and muggy as shit, so I made the decision to run steady as long as I could without blowing my load (that's what she said).  For the first ten miles or so, I ran in a group of 4 - Dave, myself, and two new friends - Mike and Jason.  It was all of our first 24 hour races and the goals varied - Mike, Dave and I all wanted 100 plus and Jason was going for 100k.  We clocked 9:30s for the first ten miles - fast, but also doable, with no walk breaks.  Two miles in, Dave spotted a potato on the course, which led to a ridiculous amount of jokes #iykiyk.  As irony goes, each loop, the potato got a little more smashed and 20 miles in, it was completely obliterated (#itwasntme).  

Aside from mashed potatoes, the first 3 hours were pretty uneventful - I had some awesome cheer squad people show up - Bill, who brought fireball (YAS) and Craig, who brought popsicles and kiddos.  I hit the marathon at 4:22, which, again, was fast, but with the heat already in the mid 80s, I knew I was doing alright.  I pit stopped for an outfit change (ice made everything soggy) and my friend Amanda showed up to cheer AND crew, and saved our butts for the next few hours with popsicles, gel, and even an icee, She is my angel.

  The RD started snapping pics at this point and I flashed him a thumbs up and he goes - you're in second!  I thought that was pretty cool, even though I'd never seen first woman and he informed me I was....second overall.  Woah.  what??  Still - a lot of race left!

About 6 hours in I changed shoes - no blisters yet (#teamnosocks) and hit up another sports bra.  I had been doing GU and skratch to this point, and my stomach was getting a little messy with the heat.  We had a pretty steady stream of awesome support - Brittany, Gary, Carolyn, Matt, Amanda, Billy, Kelly - you guys all rock!  I was still feeling good and dancing around as I always do - running at times with Mike and Jason, and now getting lapped by Dave (expected).  

As the afternoon carried into early evening, I checked my halfway split - 62 miles in 12 hours.  Holy nuts!  I made a joke with Gil, the RD, about expecting my lunchbox cooler - a prize awarded at Mind the Ducks for hitting 100k in 12 hours.  I had tried to hit that mark 3 times and failed, with my PR in the 12 hours being 56 miles.  This was either very good or very bad.  At this point, the kids showed up and gave me the high fives I needed, as my stomach was starting to get a little weird and food was a struggle.  I switched to a power walk and connected with my friend Clem, who has done two 100 milers and very diplomatically advised me I was going way TF too fast and to slow it down.  At this point I was in 3rd place overall and still first woman, with #2 being 9 laps behind me.  Good advice, but I was also aware that if I stopped - I would not start again.  So we power walked for an hour and drank ginger ale (THANK YOU DIANE!) while I tried to get my GI issues under control).

15 hours in, I was at 75 miles and knew an outfit change was needed.  I was so chafed from all the ice and sweating, and my legs and um, delicate region, was so destroyed it wasn't even funny (yes I used friction defense a LOT.  No, it wasn't enough).  It hurt to go to the bathroom, which was a BIG issue.  I switched to my safety tights (bright orange capris) and back to my green shoes (Endorphin pros) which had a bigger toe box, as I had one hot spot I taped up.  This helped a TON and I was able to rattle off a bunch of 11 to 12 minute miles with my fresh duds and the sun finally down.

Nighttime got really eerie.  I had heard about this during an ultra and had no idea what to expect.  It was pitch black and stull humid as hell, but the headlamps and quiet on the course were soothing and aside from watching football on the trail section of the course, it was pretty cool to be part of.  Around midnight I hooked up with Mike again, and we had good conversation about the um...weather...and other things that shall remain unsaid (what happens in an Ultra, stays in an ultra - but damn, you get to know a person fast!)  He had some hot spots so I advised a shoe change with all the savvy of a newbie, which he took me up on and he felt a lot better!  Salty fries arrived at 1am and I tried gamely to get them down, then promptly threw up 3 times.  Hell.  At this point, my legs felt ok but my stomach was so off again - Mike was a lap behind me but game to do my power walk, so we pressed on, averaging 15-16 minute miles.  Ill take it.  I started to do some mental math and knew my 100 mile goal was in the bag if I kept moving, with a stretch goal of 105 - 4 marathons (I cannot fathom).  I was in 4th place overall, still 1st female. Oddly enough, I never got tired and did not nap - which I know a lot of people asked.  

Clem showed up again and cooked me ramen, bless him.  some of the broth stayed down but we were now just into coke and ginger ale.  Fine.  I stopped to sit for 3 minutes, as advised and knew immediately that could not happen again.  I added a new shirt and got back up - some people can rest during an Ultra, but I knew if I did it again, my body would not allow me to get back up.

Pre dawn, my miles averaged 18-20 and we were just at - forward progress.  I had already snagged the women's record of 80 miles hours ago (Thank you Kelly for your support!) and knew that forward progress would net my 100 miler.  No ego.  Mike and I connected again at mile 98 - he was feeling a LOT better than me with the new shoe change but he stayed with me and we hit our 100 mile goal together hand in hand at 22:39. Holy crap.  So, what now?

Well, we had another hour to work with! So while Mike zoomed ahead, I kept on with my miles and ticked off 1, 2 3 more for a finish of 103.3 miles in 23:42, 13:05 pace moving time, 49 minutes total non moving (bathroom and outfit changes)!

No, I did not have one more mile in me.  I tried.  No, I could not have hit 4 marathons (105 miles).  LOL  Now that that's out of the way, I crossed the finish and immediately found a seat and began sobbing as the RD handed me my coveted belt buckle.  One, for the pure emotion of all of it.  Two, because my body gave all it had and I was 100% done.  Mike and Dave crossed not long after me - Dave with 116 miles and Mike with 104 - and we finished first, second and third respectively, with me taking the woman's win by 16 miles and beating the women's course record by a crazy 23 miles!

The award ceremony took place shortly after, complete with me retching behind a sign and standing only long enough to get my cool candlestick and sweet winners perk of a race refund fee.  I'll take it! 

Post race....well, we dont talk about that.  LOL.  

I'll leave that for the reflections post, but the short of it is - I was a ridiculous "need to be carried to the bathroom" mess for all of Sunday, rallied Monday to be a human being, and finally was able to eat Tuesday.  We are a week out and I'm swimming, biking and have done one short run.  All in all, after the first 24 hours it was perfect.  And I regret absolutely none of it.

What's next?  Well, stay tuned.....I'll drop some "What to consider and what TF NOT to do during an ultra" that I learned during this process - but overall, I am elated with the result and so incredibly happy with this race!  Gil put on a fine event, and despite my um...hesitation on the course, I enjoyed it all and will NOT be back for more, but that's just because I have some other goals to chase :)  Cheers!!

Bad Decisions - The Quest for a 100 miler

Alright, time to fess up.  In the latest "WTF idiot thing is Rae doing now?" I've been a little negligent at the updates.  Some of you know through the grapevine, but I've held off on a post for a few reasons - 

1.  It's probably the dumbest thing I've done

2. I wasn't sure I had the nerve to do it

3.  See reason #1.

But now that it's race week (what) it's about time to lay out the next adventure - the what, the where, the who, the why (LOL).  And this one's a doozy.

Post Boston, I was at a bit of loose ends for what I wanted out of the 2024 race season.  I'd spent 2022 and 2023 honing on some very specific goals, and 2024 eluded me a bit.  I already Boston Qualified (for 2025 if I want as well), and Kona 2024 isn't a thing unless I get a sex change (sorry, that's not the big news).  A sub 5 70.3 was up for debate, but I was lacking in the actual wanting to ride my bike (not new news) and I've only been swimming for the gossip and scenery (again, not new news).  That left running.  Which I like.  A lot.  But what to do with it?

As the universe usually does, it sends me some dumb new influence with really bad ideas when I need it most.  In 2019, it was a sub 6 quest. 2021, it was a bomb cyclone at World's.  This time, we upped the ante - I met a runner during Boston that made my bad choices look like amateur hour, and through the past few months, we've egged each other on to increasingly bad calls.  It's a red flag friendship that is a realllly bad idea because we don't have the ability to say "no".  Back in May, I crewed him at Mind the Ducks, the 12 hour looped one mile race I've done a few times - but this guy did it with a 50 pound pack, an somehow did 56 miles in 12 hours, which is my....non pack record.  WTF.  How could we do dumber than that?

Hold my beer (err....Kraken on the rocks).  Because whats dumber than a 12 hour looped race?  A 24 hour one.  Yep.  I didn't stutter.  The same guy that RD's Mind the Ducks also runs a race called "Candlelight 24 hour ultra" which is a one mile loop you run - as many times in 24 hours - as you can.

It's ridiculous.  It's stupid.  And eight weeks ago, I decided to do it.  So for the last two months, I've done a steady build, with many mid run back to back runs, one 100 mile week, and a long run of 40 miles. I pulled my prep plan off the internet and out of my butt.  Will it work?  I have no idea.  But why not test it out an see what happens?  (SMH).

The goal for race day?  If the weather cooperates, I want 100 miles.  The course sucks (sorry Gil).  It's almost half trail, more uphill than down, and not flat at all.  I hated it when I ran it at preview, so 100 laps sounds like a great idea, am I right??

As I sit here 5 days out, I have no clue what to expect.  I'm asking myself the dumbest questions like - what shorts to wear?  I run in coeur shorts, but what doesn't chafe at 40 miles, who TF knows at 100?  Same with socks....I don't run in socks.  Ever.  But hot damn that sounds dumb as hell (this is gonna be a game day decision, and yes, I will take feet pics (I can sell those on the internet, right? )) What do you eat for 24 hours???  My packing list ranges from snickers bars and coke to fireball, and the magnitude of this race is just unfathomable.

So like I always do, I'll head into it with my eyes up, a deep breath, and plan to have the best time of my life!  Will I get 100?  I'm gonna try my best.  And if I fall flat on my face, I'll shake it off and laugh and then get back up and try again.

Here's the big ask - if you've got an hour to spare this weekend, I would LOVE any cheers, jeers, or just throw fireball at me for an hour and tell me I'm an idiot :)  I will have a tent and camp chairs and a super enticing buffet table full of gu, coke, and aquaphor - what could be better than that?  (Don't answer that, Barry :-P)

The details:

Where: Rochester Rotary Sunshine Camp, 809 Five Points Rd, Rush, NY 14543

When: Saturday July 13 at 7am - Sunday July 14 at 7am

The why: To laugh at Rae (more than we normally do)

And if you can't make it - stay tuned for this hella crazy race recap, if I'm alive to write it! :) 

Keuka Lake Duathlon 2024: In the Meantime

 Hello internet!  

It's about time for the start of the 2024 multisport season...or is it? LOL.  When we last left, I had done Boston, which was the perfect race for all the wrong reasons.  It was the end of a lot of things, including the quest for the "Q".....that started in 2022.  BQ, KQ, all the Qs.  And while...none of it ended up the way I thought - I didn't end up competing in Kona, and my Boston was just not what I expected at all....it was exactly how it should have been.  Which, of course, is a metaphor for the last two or five years of my life.  Everything happens for a reason, we just might not know what it is at the time.  And everything inside and outside the racing world prepped me for it, whether I knew it or not at the time.  All I had to do was.....go for it with the best of my abilities and true intentions, and learn how to react, adapt, and continue moving forward through it.

The real question on every level is - whats next?  Good one, and if we are playing this game right - the answer is, go for what seems right, be honest about all of it, and always remember you have people cheering for you through the process.  Check. I am so lucky.

Let's pivot from the life lessons and move on to racing, shall we? The month of June would normally see me starting the season of triathlon - swim, bike, run, repeat, check.  2024 has been...different.  Challenging, life altering, scary but also....a path of finding who I am.  Its got 2019 vibes of the "big scary thing" but this time....I'm jumping in, very confident of who I am and how lucky I am to have such a great support system.

What does that look like for racing?  I'm still figuring it out.  I know for sure I'm taking 2024 off from long course tri - I need a break.  I love the swim and bike, but I also have no desire to do scheduled 4-6 hour rides each week.  Next year.  Not this year.

Of course, this story involves new friends and terrible decisions, but for the sake of this race report - it doesn't involve a lot of swimming.  So in the old switcheroo, I decided to try a sport i haven't voluntarily signed up for in over a decade - the duathlon.  Keuka duathlon featured a 5k-14mile-5k run bike run, and I was all in.  Why not swim, Rae?  Two reasons.  One - I was already in the midst of dumb life choices for running, and Two - while i love swimming for recovery, my swim speed is just not there and i like to ZOOM!  Here we go!

Keuka has been the opener for many years for multi sport - its a great venue, the bike is pretty, and the run right along the lake.  Ryan came up from PA and we hung out the night before, and headed down to Penn Yan early am to set up!  It was...raining.  Of course, the year I opted to now swim, here I was gonna get wet anyways.  Thanks karma LOL

Pre race, I set up my gear, laughed with the duathletes that looked at me with horror as I racked alongside them (sorry guys) and then of course, went and made it a party.  So many people I hadnt seen in person for 6 months were there, and I (so serious athlete) needed to catch up!  It was a great time, despite the shivering and wet, and before i knew it, I was in the RATs tent stripping off my warm gear and prepping to start!

Run #1- 21:43 - 7:02/mi

The du is a small race, there were only about 20 women in it, and maybe 40 total people.  I started up front with James Roche, a local fast as hell duathlete, and we laughed about would outrun the other.  With an airhorn, we were off!!  I haven't run speed in months, so had no clue what to expect.  One woman and one guy took off like a shot, averaging what must have been 6:30s, and I ran alongside James, while we debated if they could bike or not (LOL).  I didn't recognize the woman, but I knew she was running outside my element, so I stayed within myself.  Shocking to me, we clocked low sevens the hole first run, and James and I ran into t1 together (well, he let me go ahead as a gentleman...for this run anyways LOL)

Bike: 43:13, 18.5 mph

Here's where the rubber met the road.  It was still a little soggy, but I made it on my bike ok (helmet the right way - check!) and was off.  I passed the woman ahead of me about a half mile into the bike, and she laughed and said - I wont catch you again have fun!  Ohhhh, ok.  I had no idea what that meant, but now the racer in me was activated, and I started doing math.  I figured if she could beat me by about 2 minutes in a 5k, I needed at least 3 on the bike.  Lets dance, baby!  The bike course is aa fair course in this race - some rollers the first half, then a nice zoom downhill, turn around, grind for a mile, then rollers net downhill back.  The wind was in our face the way out, so it was slower, but still fun.  I saw James about a half mile ahead of me before I hit the turnaround (we were in the lead) and as I headed back, I got to see all the duathletes and sprinters zooming out!  So many friends.  Fast runner woman was about two minutes back, and I knew I had to boogie.  I've had about 3 rides total in 2024, so my bike speed sucks, but I put in a decent effort on the way back and zoomed into t2 feeling ready to run! (again)

Run #2: 23:09 - 7:32/mi

As I hit the second run, I heard the announcer say my name and I was in the lead - yassss.  I had no designs to win this thing signing up, but now it was on!  I saw my old coach, mean dude, along the course and he joked "Where are all the other runners??" and I laughed.  I was in my element, smiling and having a great time.  The first mile of run 2 was...eerie.  I saw no one.  James was far enough ahead and the Oly athletes were nowhere in sight.  I've never had a course to myself before and I had no clue what to do with it, but it was pretty cool!!  Near the turnaround I got to see some of the winning Oly athletes and James, and we flashed a thumbs up.  The way bac, of course, was epic.  All the sprinters were on the course and fast woman runner was about 5 minutes back, and I could just enjoy.  I was closing mid 7s and while not my fastest - it was a solid effort and eft me room to thumbs up and smile those on the course.  With a quarter mile to go, I saw my awesome race support on the sidelines and gave a big smile, then zoomed with all my effort to the finish, hearing that sweet - "Rae Glaser, our women's winner and second overall!".  Still surreal.  Never gets old.  Wow.

Post race, we had an awesome catered lunch and i hung out with all my multisport faves.  Its everything that is right with the world.  And this serious in particular.  I'm lucky enough to be part of the First Knight Racing team, and Joe's events never disappoint.  Thanks to Joe, Erin, Steve, Kate and the whole crew for everything! 

What's next?  Multisport - peasantman.  (Yes, I'll swim for that one).  Running?  Well.....we will get to that soon.  It's gonna be wild, idiotic and fun.  And really, do I ever do life different? :)

The Boston Marathon: This is the Beginning

Oh Boston.  Boston.

Its  two weeks later, and I'm finally ready to sit down and write about it.  For those of you that are friends with me in person or on social media, you know the highlights of how this one played out.  It was absolutely nothing that I expected it to be.

And it was absolutely everything I needed it to be.

This race report is going to be a little bit different - because I can't do it justice in the traditional format.  Boston was, hands down, the hardest physical race I have ever done.  And mentally and emotionally - the easiest.  This is not a story about how I nailed a PR, executed a negative split, or raced to my athletic "potential".  It's a story about how somehow - the universe gives you exactly what you need, when you need it most.  It's a story for - when you look for the good stuff - you find it.  It's a story about beginnings.  Intrigued?  Let's go!

A few years back, I was talking to a fellow triathlete about an ungodly ridiculous race I did in a bomb cyclone and he looked at me and said - ya know - its funny.  Most people wish for the best conditions....me?  I like my races to be memorable.  Weather = memorable.  And I thought he was nuts (Note - I still kinda do, but since I actively am still friends with him, we can infer a few things about me LOL).  I never understood truly what he meant until this race.  

As we know, I went into Boston with a LOT of physical and mental baggage.  Training wasn't what it needed to be, and I knew it.  And life was a complete mess.  Of course, you know me.  In those stormy situations you can either bitch or dance in the rain, and armed with my poncho, running supplies and a few awesome friends, I chose the latter.

I knew going into the weekend a PR was a long shot (sub 3:30) but promised my coach I would race smart and give it my best.  Our crew - Dave, Eric and myself - left the Roc Saturday morning and ventured to Boston.  I've run with Dave "dumpster fire" many times, and Eric was a new friend.  Eric was injured, Dave was gunning for a PR, and I was....along for the ride.  And what a damned ride.  As we became best friends over road snacks, podcasts and poop jokes, a few things were evident - this weekend was like nothing I had ever experienced.  It was vegan Thai food and too much walking.  It was Eric's obsession with women's clothing and products (completely by accident, but when you have four daughters....).  It was full of laughs, "that's what she said" and my uterus falling out (whoops).  It was a crap ton of coffee, not enough water and dancing in the streets.  It was....not about the race. And that was oddly enough - perfectly fine.

The day before, as Dave and I shook our booties in watermelon and moo shorts, and as I gazed out at the Charles river post shake out run - I knew the weekend meant something.  In the hotel room, when there was nothing left to do but scroll social media and see all the AMAZING messages I got from people.... that I never expected....I felt....so damned grateful.  And on a random Instagram send, the song "This is the Beginning" by Ely Eira came up - I'd never heard it, and the lyrics gave me chills:

Been dreamin for so long

Said we'll make em all come true

Now our stories just about to be told

This is the beginning 

I played it for the boys, and Eric looked at me and said....ya know....tomorrow is all about the unknown for me, too.  Nothing was what I expected.  And this is why we do it....We don't know what kind of ending we are gonna have.

Holy shit.  I felt that.  And race morning - when the temps were predicted to hit the 70s, I smiled.  When the trek to the busses was over an hour long....I smiled.  I wore my Brockport hoodie I have had since 2001 that allowed me to reconnect to my past (hey there buddy!), and smiled.  I listened to "This is the Beginning" on repeat - and knew - this was going to be a day. A day I would never forget.

At bag drop off, I met my new best friend, Tammy from Wisconsin.  We immediately bonded, and then boarded the bus to meet our second newest best friend...Julie from North Carolina, who we immediately dubbed "Super Girl" for reasons.  We partied to Hopkinton with the 12 J's on the bus who made us laugh for over an hour.  And with my new best friends, we braved the athlete village and insane wait for the porta potties until the "Smurf" (blue) wave was called.  It was already 70 out and my shoe was rubbing my baby toe.  I didn't care.  Oh, I was smiling.  This was BOSTON!  

I headed to the start with Super Girl and we smiled the whole way.  Before I knew it - we were OFF!  As my corral surged to the start, I saw the iconic "Boston start line" painted on the ground and holy shit guys - I lost it.  I cried.  I could not believe that I was actually HERE.  It was so surreal.

The race plan called for a smart 16 miles around marathon pace - 7:45 - then to tackle the hills wisely and race the last 5k.

Know what?  Fuck the race plan.  So sorry mean dude.  You did awesome, and I love you so much.  But I FINALLY understood why - you dont race Boston.  Not for the day we had, and honestly, not for the day I needed.  BY the 6 mile mark, I knew my legs did not have what they needed to PR.  And....did a 3:29 matter?  Nope.  Did a 3:45 matter?  Also, no.  So....I did a weird thing.  I threw a party.  Oh hell, did I throw a party.

I took a beer the frat boys offered me at mile 11 and immediatly shot gunned it.

I kissed a Wellsley girl at mile 12.5 - and I liked it (Yes, that's only a Katy Perry reference, but she was, in fact, a decent kisser - don't worry, I still like boys LOL)

I threw up said beer at mile 14.

I high fived Sponge Bob and a Taco.

I danced with Tigger and Big Bird.

I powered up with every kid, took every popsicle, shared my boob ice, and at every single town, cheered with the crowd.

I took walk breaks as needed, but I ran ALL the way up Heartbreak hill.  Over the past year and a half - running up this hill felt damned poetic. Take THAT!

And at mile 24, when I saw the sign that welcomed up to Boston, I lost my shit.  I got so emotional, I couldn't breathe and had to stop.  A cheer squad asked me if I was ok and I replied - I'm fucking here.  I am here.  And I cant believe this.  And with big ugly beautiful tears streaming down my face, I ran toward the finish.

It was poetic.  My legs hurt.  I was in more physical pain than I can ever remember.  But I never....wanted it to end.  I have never done a race where I wasn't actively seeking the finish line, but this was it.

And then....I turned left onto Boyslton. And there it was.  The finish line.  And I got chills.  I choked up.  I couldn't even fathom that this freaking non athletic chubby kid - was here.  It wasn't an easy one and done.  Back in 2008, when I did my first marathon....I never dreamed of this.  Of this big beautiful beast of a unicorn.  Holy SHIT.  It was here.  And I looked around.  And I knew no one - which I always thought would be a bummer, and one of my Kona reasons.

  But....it wasn't about that.  And I knew....I would never forget that moment.  Of running across that beautiful blue and yellow finish line and looking at the guy next to me who spoke not a word of English, and we enveloped in the biggest hug anyways.  Of  crossing to the athlete village and immediately calling my ten year old to tell him I loved him SO DAMNED much.  Rob wanted to be there so badly - and he wore mom's jacket to school that day, and he is....without a doubt....one of my biggest "whys".  Of calling my best friend and sobbing to her about how I fucking DID Boston.

I don't remember most of the rest of it.  For those that know "Athletic Rae" there were questions - because this wasn't the race to look at the finish time.  Of my mile splits.  Or heart rate.  My heart was bursting.  And it had nothing to do with the heat, the hills or my time.  As I looked down at my beautiful jersey, full of the love from my family and friends - I felt it in my heart that this was the beginning of something so darned beautiful.  And I was so damned grateful to have the experience.

Post race was full of all the normal shenanigans - beer, all you can eat hibachi, skeeball and left coast doctors....along with the promise of all the "maybe" post race :).  And even though none of us could walk, it didn't matter.  None of us had the race we expected, but we all had the weekend we needed.

Boston, you have my heart.  Will I be back?  I have no idea.  But I have no regrets, and you gave me exactly what I needed - the fire and ice (well, about that) and the excitement of what the future holds.

What does that mean?  I have absolutely no idea, and I still don't.  But whatever it is, it's gonna be epic.  This IS the beginning.

Boston: More than a Feeling

 Hey y'all! It's been a crazy minute, hasn't it?  Well, I promise I haven't forgotten the blogg-o, but damn.  I'll be real.  It's been a year.  If someone could remind me that joking about a mid life crisis at 35 was a REALLY BAD idea, that would be great.  Cause when 40 hits....it basically says....hold my beer. Yep, it's like that.

But it's a little different this year. Actually, it's much different than 2023.  Here's your 20 second catch up of 2024 - It was alright, it got bad, it got real bad, and now, oddly enough, we are rebounding.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  And boy, is it fucking gorgeous.

The last 18 months have taught me two main things - that life never, ever goes as you plan, and that, at the end of the day - you can either look for the windows, or the brick walls.

Wait, what?  I didn't stutter.  Many of you know I'm a giant book nerd.  Years ago, I read a short story that has always stuck with me....

 It was about two men in hospice - they shared a room, and were bed ridden and could barely lift their heads.  One was in a bed by the door, and the other man that had the bed further away from the door would tell the man by the door about everything going on outside the room through the window he saw.  He would chatter about the sunshine, the kids playing, and the amazing sights.  The man by the door was really bitter about this - he wanted to be able to see this great view.  Eventually, the man that told the stories of outside passed away, and the man by the door waited a few days then asked the nurses if he could move to the vacant bed.  They complied, and the next morning, with great effort, the man lifted his head to look outside and saw....a blank wall.  Confused, he asked the nurse what happened to the window - and the nurse replied - there has never been a window in this room.  And the man, even more confused, spoke about all the sights the man that had died shared with him.  The nurse looked at the man and said....that man that shared all that with you....he was blind. 

Wow.  I've thought about that story quite a bit this year, and it reminds me of two things - that you never know what someone else has going on - and most importantly - if you look for a wall, there will be one.  If you look for a window....you will find one.

And the past few months - have been about windows. I leave for Boston this morning.  I have been dreaming about this race for over a decade - and when I qualified in November 2022 at Philly - I was over the moon. It was a total dream come true.  I had zero idea the trajectory my life would take in the next year and a half. Honestly, in the last 17 months...I have fallen down so many times and wasn't sure I could recover.

I did. I qualified for Kona.  I didn't go.  And after that, I threw all my energy at Boston.  It was a redemption.  It was a rebirth.  And it was...a window.  A badly needed window.  I was SO gonna do this race with the biggest PR ever!

As life would have it, a few months ago, life intervened and plans changed.  Massively. And in midst of all of the mess, I had a choice.  What to do about Boston.  Not going was never a choice - I promised myself that- but my aggressive goal was.  And really, in the last few months...year....I've really stepped back to think about that stuff.  I don't regret a single decision I've made or path I've taken, but when life happens....you can either see the walls or the windows. And you adjust accordingly.   (and for all of you that have Lil John in your head, you're welcome.  Me too)

This time - I saw the window.  And while my training through this mess has been mediocre at best for a

PR, that's honestly not the point.  The point is - to embrace the experience. To be so damned grateful for it.  My travel plans changed once, twice, three times - and I am now going with two amazing people that have picked me up, pointed me in the right direction, and are taking care of every. single. detail.  I just have to pay my way and show up...and run.  They both know Boston and are taking this rookie under their wing.  There will be insanity.  There will be beer.  There will be laughing.  It's a dumpster fire.  And its the perfect way to do Boston.

I ditched my running singlet and with the help of the people I love best - will be running with all your names on my shirt.  I threw out my playlist and took in suggestions from the best people that flooded me with songs that mean something to them.  I listened to every single one and I felt all the emotions that they were sent with them.  Thank you. Truly.  I know I have a piece of your heart. I already love everything about this race - and I'm not even there yet!

I'm sure I'll get even sappier as I toe the line at Hopkinton and see Boylston.  As I see the iconic start and toe the line with the world's best.  Its a dream come true.

But it's not about that.  Its about the last year and a half and all of those angels that got me there.  Its about those people that you meet on your path.  When you fall, and they pick you up.  When they look at you and say - or prove - they got you.  And even though the last year and a half has been absolutely mind boggling - I am one of the luckiest people in the world.  And I wake up every day knowing it - seeing those windows. Of  all of the exciting things that are ahead.  And being so fucking grateful for all of you.

I can't even name everyone, but I'm gonna try.  To the French fry gang - QVC, Those People, Swimmer Dude and Ham Bro.  You guys picked me up when I needed it most, and I will never forget it.  Ever.  8 minutes.  To Mean Dude - dude, I'm sorry I gave you that name - but for the last 16 months, you have done nothing but believe the best in me - and I cannot wait to do you proud.  To Zeus - you got me started.  And I'll never forget it. To my Renegade - five years ago, it was about piggy backs.  And you still carry me as one of the best friends I could ask for.   To Ken - you are my best bad decision maker.  I'll get back to you about November.  And every other amazing bad choice we have made!!  To my Y swim crew - Bear, Cat Woman, Kris, Mike, and my favorite speedo boys - you guys are the best.  I still can't swim but thank goodness we don't need to do that Monday - save a spot for me in the hot tub next week!!  To 1:20 - Thanks for believing in me when I didn't - and I can't wait for those "recovery runs" when I get back!  To cruise - You're ok.  And when life hands me lemons, I am so glad I have a lemon tree!!  To my dumpster crew - you helped me qualify and you've put up with my shit ever since.  And I'll never forget it.  

To my amaazing kiddos - Rob and Biz - you always are so great about when Mom runs, and I LOVE our buddy runs and Mom and me recovery - whether its the boots, a bubble bath, or ice cream!  And as always, to my rocket booster.  It's not what I thought it would be.  Far from it.  But at the end of the day - you still are there for me, and you always will be.  It just looks a little different than we thought.  But it's still our adventure.

To the many friends I haven't named but have checked on me, tossed a joke my way, run miles with me, or in some way shown your love - I haven't forgotten it.  And I never, ever will. 

Thank you all.  You have no idea.  But you have my love, and my heart, and I'm gonna go do BOSTON STRONG on Monday for every single one of you!!  Bib is 18486 - Boston.  April 15th.  10:52 start time.  LETS GO!!!!

2023 Year In Review: Stand

I'm a little late to this one - but with the way 2023 shook out, we needed to make sure of a few things - first, that the damned year actually ended, and then, to take a few deep breaths to process it.  

Maybe more than a few.  I think its de rigeur to look back at the past year and think - wow.  What the hell.  I know I did it looking back at 2022, and as I look back at that year, I had some amazing highs and lows that I thought 2023 couldn't even come close to the magnitude of.

Hold my beer, said 2023.  And as I read through my recap of 2022, at the lessons learned, I smiled, teared up and thought - if only you knew what the next year would bring.  If only - you knew.  The lines I penned one year ago: 

Going into 2023, I've reminded myself to keep my head up, and my mind open - as you absolutely never know who or what is going to make a difference in your life. Or what that might look like.

That was so damned spot on, I never would have guessed.  There are some people that I grew with from 2022.  Some that I left in 2022.  Some of them that left last year - came back.  And some in full force - ones I never expected.  And some people that showed up in 2023 that I never would have imagined have found a deep spot in my heart. You just never know what path your life is going to take.

And this year,  the people that showed up in my life - saved it.  2023, without a doubt, has been the wildest ride I have ever been on - I accomplished things I never dreamed I would, and was brought to the lowest of lows by life at the same time.  There have been many days where I wasn't sure I was going to make it, to be honest.  By by the grace of some amazing people, and a sheer stubborn will, I did.  And when I look back - this was a year of growth.  A year of pain and tears.  And a year to realize that I am so much stronger than I ever could have imagined.  

And as always, there were lessons.  Lessons that I never thought I would have to face.  In 2023 I learned...

You can't have it all.  This was such a hard lesson to learn.  Five years ago, I sat down and made a choice. I didn't like where I was at in life with respect to sport, or, quite honestly, how I saw myself.  I had just finished Ironman Lake Placid and was disenchanted with triathlon and my general fear of everything.  It was bad.  So I sat down and made some intentions for 2019 - big, scary goals if you will.  For the past four years, I've gone out of my comfort zone, put myself in situations I had no business being in with respect to racing and training partners (that's my perspective) and as a whole, adapted the "Why not" mentality.  As in - fuck it - lets give this a shot.  And done so, without barriers or reservations.

It's gotten me to places I've never dreamed.  This year alone, I qualified for Kona, Taupo (World's 70.3) and another Boston Qualifier for 2025.  I've had so many amazing people help me along the way - friends, awesome coaches, and teammates.  I never would have expected any of it.  And the trip has been amazing. Incredibly hard, but absolutely, mind-blowingly, amazing. 

And while 2023 was another year of epic feats, I learned a really hard lesson - that you can't have it all.  That the balancing act I tri - ed for (See what I did there, and now the blog makes sense) epically failed.  Because you can't always keep the balance.  And riding high on athletic success cost me dearly this year, even though I went at it with the best of intentions - and with the best idea of how to balance it all.  

Everything in life is about he delicate pendulum (oh, the irony).  There is a season, turn, turn turn.  And while I can't regret the choices I made at the time, if I could go back, I might do it differently. But I can't.  So I'll write the next part of the story a different way, with what I've learned.  I'm still excited for Boston 2024 - don't get me wrong. That is going to be one. epic. day.  But I've had to really take a look at how I'm choosing to do things with the resources I have - be it time, money, relationships, mental health, you name it.

What You see on the Outside...is not the full picture.  I know everyone was shocked when I opted out of racing Kona - and the love from my support crew.....was real. Of supporters I didn't even know I had.  One of the things I heard over and over again was - you seem to have all your shit together.  We had no idea.  And bythe way..... we....don't either.  September, October and November flattened me.  Flattened.  There were so many days when I doubted that I would make it to the next one.  But an odd thing happened during this low time - people that I never thought would be part of my story - became part of my story. And I became part of theirs.  Whether it was sharing their own struggles or showing their support to me during my darkest days in ways I never imagined, I was able to see sides of people that I never knew existed.  And find solace.  And at the same time - be honest and real about the parts of me that people don't see every day.  It's with that kind of grace that I know that no matter what 2024 brings - it will be okay.  And the people that saw me....and allowed me to see the real, vulnerable parts of them - will be okay. We are in this together. 

Everything and Everyone Happens for a Reason.  This lesson tends to follow me from year to year, and I always leave it in - because its such a double edged sword.  There are things that happened this year that were absolutely amazing - people that came back into my life, new people that showed up along the way, and events I never dreamed would be a reality.  Sitting at the awards banquet at Ironman Texas and hearing my name called for a Kona slot was - indescribable.  Wearing the lei put on my by Ironman deeming me eligible to compete at that world level on Ironman's biggest stage......unbelieveable.  I will never forget it.  And while life had a different plan in mind for the actual event - I know, in my heart of hearts, that I will qualify again.  And when I do, it will be right.  But the journey - was indescribable.  And the same thing with the people I've met along the way this year.  Some of them left - some are in a much different capacity than I ever thought they would be.  It's been really hard, embracing the change and knowing what I can and can not control.  But that leads me to my last lesson....

You are stronger than you think. I always knew I was stubborn.  And that I had a lot of will.  But never until this year did I know....what I'm made of.  And how very damned much I can handle.  Whether its a 5am swim, a 7 hour brick, a sprint to max for the last two miles of a 140.6.....or picking myself up off the ground after life flattened me..... again....I got back up.  Every. Time.  And I know, going into 2024, that no matter what life throws at me, I can do this.  

Back in 2008, when I toed the line of my first Half Ironman (Musselman!), I found solace in a song that re-played in my head for the next 6 and a half hours.  I was still relatively new to the sport, and the idea that I was playing at being an athlete - let alone an event with the word "Iron" in it - was absolutely unfathomable.  As I swam, rode and ran, the words of a Rascal Flatts song played in my head....

When push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of,

You might bend till you break

Cause its all you can take

On your knees, you look up, decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off, 

Then You Stand. 

Fifteen years later - it still holds true.  And with 2023 behind me, I can't be thankful enough.  For the lessons, for the perseverance, for the friends.  For those amazing people - my QVC, Dumpster, Safety Tights and Older Sister.  For PC and the Bear.  For Cruise, for Will, for Too Tall.  For my Ham Bro.  And for Mean Dude, Renegade and Zeus.  (Does anyone have a real name any more??)  There are so many more.  But I will never, ever forget what you did for me this year.  And as we go into 2024, I can only hope that I can be there for these wonderful angels even a fraction of how much they helped me in 2023.  

Over and out, 2023.  And on to 2024 - to a new year full of adventure, friendships, and love. A year to knock my socks off.   Let's do this!