Post Race: Good Enough

And now - the moment you've been waiting for.  (Or at least, the moment I took my sweet time with, following the most drawn out race report ever).  If you're just tuning in, check out the last few posts that detail, in ridiculous navel gazing fashion, the Ironman Des Moines race day - the prep, swim, bike, and run. 

I did it.  And post race, after collecting all of our gear, rehashing the day, and following up with my awesome supporters from back home (you guys have no idea how much that meant to me - every text, message, Facebook post - thank you.  Ironman is a bit wild to most people but the support I had for this race was unbelievable and I am grateful to all of you!) it was time to fall into bed.

For about two hours.  Post Ironman is always a rough sleep night - turning your body from
being "on" to "off" after such an extreme event is tough.  I was up at 2:30am, packing and trying to move around.  By 6am, Ken and I had met up to move around a little bit in the pool, eat breakfast, and prep for the 15 hour drive ahead.

But first - we had to attend a little award ceremony.  I've never been to one of these for Ironman, and it was absolutely wild.  I got to meet Tim O'Donnell, Mirinda Carfrae, and Linsey Corbin - athletes I have followed for a decade.  I got to meet TO and Rinny's kids - and shake their hands, a starstruck fan, and try to explain how their presence inspires me, as a Mom with two little kids.  I got to meet Skye, the women's winner, who blew the course away.  And I got to see the awesome awards that someday I hope to be part of - it was absolutely unfathomable to me how close I came to placing in my Age Group for an Ironman, (and now I have something to shoot for!)  After the awards, we stayed for the Kona slot allocation.

Guys, I was on pins and needles here -  and wasn't sure how to feel about this one.  All I needed was one person to decline their spot...and it was mine.  I was in the biggest age group for the ladies, and therefore, if any woman's age group had no takers (a real possibility for the older age groups where there were only 3-4 people total) the slot would be available to me (they re-allocate based on volume within the gender).  Would I get a slot?

And...would I take it?  This still played in my mind.  I had spent an hour last night on the phone with Greg  discussing this.  On one hand, it was KONA - the World Championships, the race every triathlete dreams of at some point.  I had never expected this to happen, and I was still in disbelief that I had gotten the opportunity to even debate this.  We would be in Hawaii for my fortieth birthday.  Holy crap.  Could it get any better?? 

But....it was also another Ironman to train for.  In 4 months.  And I had spent the past 6 months juggling the sometimes insurmountable task of trying to train well for this Ironman while maintaining a marriage, two kids, my family and friends, and a demanding job.  And - I won't lie - at times, I felt like I was failing at all of it.  Not to mention that I would be asking so much of my husband for this dream - was this even fair??  Us endurance athletes are a tough lot - the sport is demanding and time consuming, and I had tried so hard to not let it interfere with the rest of my life, but that balance is precarious.  And I was unsure about it.

I have the best husband ever.  He listened patiently to me, and much like he did last June when I was unsure about World's 70.3 he said - point blank - if you get a slot, we go.  Damn the costs.  Damn the time.  I support your dream fully, and have seen the way you approached this race, and you did it well, always with an eye on the balance.  GO GET THAT SLOT. 

Well, that settled that.  And maybe that was the whole key to this - the balance.  As the slot allocation came to females 40-44 (I am 40 as of race age for tris) 2nd, 3rd, and 5th place had a slot.  I was 7th.  I watched as 1st and 4th took their slots - and 6th place was....well, you remember this.  The butt kiss woman I played tag with on the bike, who ended up beating me by 11 minutes.  I knew she was gunning for a Kona slot.  And I knew that I had come within that proverbially one placement away from going to Hawaii - she gleefully claimed her slot, just as I expected her to.

I was hanging out with Dave Zimmet at that point in time, who was talking some great coaching aspects with me (he coaches my other buddy Dave, who is Kona bound) and he encouraged me to stay until the end in case a slot was re allocated.  Which there was...for the men.  But all the women eligible for Kona wanted to GO! which I don't blame them for.  

There wasn't a slot for me this year - and with that, Ken and I started the long trek home. 

 Over the next thousand miles, I thought about it, and I've spent a lot of time thinking about it these past two weeks.  Am I disappointed? Of course part of me is.  I have always wanted to qualify, and it has always been a pipe dream.  It would have been so damned cool to go to Hawaii - and it blows my mind I got this close.  The last Ironman I did, I was 3 hours away from qualifying.  This time....I was 11 minutes.  And the irony of the fact that I played leap frog with 6th place and held 5th for a portion of the race shows me that with some more tweaking....its possible.  This year?  No.  Next year?  Maybe.  But its possible.  And that opens up a whole new area I have never seriously contemplated. 

But....I also know that it would have been tough to juggle.  And that all the places in life I've been borrowing from are not worth it to keep borrowing from right now.  

Ken and I got home at 4am in the morning....and at 6am my kids hopped all over me, ready to go to field day and have our picnic lunch together.  I slugged down a borderline illegal amount of coffee and joined them.  Because that's what's important right now.  Over the past two weeks, I've started introducing swimming, biking and running back into my routine, and have some fun races planned for the next few months before I work on my fall goals.  

But, more importantly....I've eaten a lot of ice cream sundaes made by Biz.  Done some biking with Rob.  Hit up Sea Breeze, jumped on the trampoline, and spent hours playing spa, having water gun fights, and piecing together lego's.  I've caught up with friends, and spent time with family.  Ironman....will be there again.  I did what I came to do and that's enough for now.  I fell in love with Ironman all over again, and "settled the score" with 140.6 that's been lingering since Lake Placid 2018.  And now...I am so excited to do it all over again...someday.  

People keep asking me - What's Next?  What Ironman are you doing??  You must be so bummed- you came so close!

All things considered - I'm not.  And Ironman and I are good for a bit.  Its time to look at that balance and remember this is a hobby.  I have some crazy awesome goals in mind for 2022 and 2023 and cannot wait to recover and go after them.  But its not 140.6.  Not right now. Ironman and I are good.  Or for now....good enough.

And with that, our Ironman Des Moines journey is complete.  It's on to the next adventure!