Qu'est-ce que Ironman?

So, I did a thing.

So much of a thing that I won't even name this post after a song title.  That's huge, guys.

So, remember Placid 2018?  Of course you do.  I won't shut up about it, will I?

That race sucked.  It was totally the end of the beginning.  Yep, you read that right.  The "Get back on the horse or give up the ghost" race, if you will.

Well, I think we figured that one out, didn't we?  2019, without a doubt, has been the year for Epic racing shit.  I'm so totally back in love with racing that I decided to go big or go home.

You know what I did.

I figured, if 140.6 went to die in 2018, and I spent 2019 rebuilding the concept of Swim, Bike and Run (still not there yet totally with the bike, we are totally working on shifting and "arrow" work, but I no longer stare at my bike in horror, so that's quite a huge leap!)....what's next?

Ironman, baby.  Ironman.  So I did what any freak triathlete normal person would do, and googled the races.  I did not want to go back to Placid yet - I've done the race twice, have not written it off forever, but I wanted to do new things.  So I narrowed it down - Chattanooga, Wisconsin, Mont Tremblant.

I talked to my husband.  I talked to my kids.  I talked to my coach.  I talked to myself (oh wait, I do that all the time.  That's nothing new).

The buy in was there.  The plan was there.  Everyone was on board.  Should I do it?

What a ridiculous question.  OF COURSE I'M GONNA DO IT.

 So, I did the thing:

Ironman Mt. Tremblant, here I come!  Or, should I say, Ironman Mont. Tremblant, je viens!

Official training starts November 23rd....stay tuned.  We still have a season to finish (quite fittingly, in Canada!)

Cayuga Lake Tri 2019: Down With the Sickness

Guys, I'm not gonna lie to you.  This is a tough race report to write.  I've sat on it now for over two weeks, and just have had a complete lack of desire to pen it.  But, like most things that are tough, this is worthwhile, even if its only to remind myself that not everything can be sunshine and rainbows and that, tough as it is, its ok to have a race you don't feel that great about.  So, as always, I'll just lay it out there for you.

If I'm honest with myself, I'd been in a slump for a week or so prior to this race - after the Walworth 5k, I managed to develop a low key illness that wasn't enough to render me useless, but enough to stymie any thoughts of being able to execute any workout of use beyond a laughable attempt at "recovery" pace.  I couldn't take a deep breath without coughing, my body hurt, and I felt slightly drunk half the time, with the world floating somewhere above me. (No, this was not as a result of the party the weekend of the 5k where I learned, I was not, in fact 22 anymore and had no business doing the amount of shots that I did.  Pineapple.  Ahem.)

Seems like a great way to enter a brand new to me race where the first 4 miles of the bike is all uphill, no?  Of course!  Greg and I signed up for this race through his tri team ( I' also a  member, though I usually race with the reapers) - RWB was cool enough to offer us free entry (Go Eagles!  Thanks RWB!)  We have always wanted to try this race, but the weekend has never been good.  Well, this year, Gramma was cool enough to share her birthday with a tri (aww) so we went for it!  

As luck would have it, Greg was feeling like crap as well - so crappy he debated doing the sprint.  Seemed pretty popular - of my five buddies that were doing the race, four opted for the sprint and one for the aquabike - with Greg and I as the lone hold outs for the Oly.  In the end, he decided to go for the Oly, which made me super proud.  Me, I was just hangin' out, figuring if I only had one gear to work with, I may as well go long.  Race morning, we left stupidly early, tried to cheer ourselves up with crappy 80s pop music, and I made the last minute choice to take cold meds with my bagel, figuring being able to breathe took precedence over feeling foggy (always a wise choice to make when debating high speeds on the bike).  We arrived at the race site and set up shop, hanging out with my "fam" - Matt (he has been upgraded from the Boy for sure), The Outlaw, and Coach Banter (that sounds so weird).  I got a last minute race plan which I heard little of beyond..."Hey, there's a swim, a bike and run" and appropriately nodded at each (sorry coach) and took a few pre race pics with Maria, Marcus and the RWB team before heading to the swim start.

Pre race I got in for a quick dunk - the water was ridiculously warm and I'm sure they dumped a bag of ice right over the spot where they took the temperature to determine if it was wetsuit legal or not.  Regardless, the water felt great and as luck would have it, my goggles decided not to snap or leak, which, sadly, is a huge accomplishment lately!

I was the second wave off, so after the anthem I gave out last minute high fives, kissed Greg and wished him luck as he went off in wave one, and got ready to rock.  Ummm...about that....

Swim: 29:21 (1:46/100)

The swim for this race was probably the sweetest set up I've seen.  It was an out and back, no double loop crap for the Olympic racers, and a nice cable a la IMLP to guide you.  YES.  I went out with the women 35 and over.  I lined up to the right and in front - I had no illusions of winning the swim, but I'm not afraid of contact and with the way I was feeling, I figured why not cut down on my swim distance and hug the line?  With little fanfare and encouragement from the announcer to have fun and "be nice" (apparently we looked like a shady bunch) we were off!  I have little to say about the swim except somehow I lacked the ability to sight with the easiest course ever invented and I pretty much felt like I was swimming a 1 x 1600 set at the y - totally fine, easy, and also not acceptable for a race.  I wish I cared.  I exited the water 3rd in my wave, which is actually pretty good for me, and found the bonus of having most of my friends in the sprint race - I got a great cheer from both The Banter and Marcus as I made my way into T1 - my own personal pep squad!  Sweet!


Bike: 1:19:12 (18.4 mph)

This bike course was both tough and technical - I had some vague instruction from my coach about the long climb out of T1 (which I saw driving in) and the technical descents, and also some pithy comments about where I could ride in aero (I think we both got a chuckle out of that one.  Oh wait, no, that was just me.  He looked mildly impatient with me, as I really didn't take his direction well.  Whoops).  I was super amped to finally have a bike computer to see my ride data live....um....except somehow it auto powered down while I was swimming.  DAMMIT!  I had checked this pre race and was assured it would stay on, but I'm guessing you have to do something different with the settings to get it to not auto sleep.  And...I'm a moron. F(*#ck.  I was annoyed, but as this was so far from an A race, I guess I have to admit I didn't terribly care enough to pitch a fit.  Anyways, I grabbed my bike, pulled out of T1, and against all advice, kept her in the big chain ring, mounted, and was off.  The first 15 minutes I spun out, probably slower than I would have normally, but as I had never ridden or driven the course, I really had no clue what to expect, so I played it safe (that was dumb, Rae),  About mile 8, we turned off and finally started to flatten out and the promised technical descent happened. I'm pleased to report I really didn't brake much during this piece, mostly because I was in aforementioned foggy state and it didn't really dawn on me until I was about to veer right to not end up in the lake that I should have been nervous.  Score one for the foggy cold drugs.  The next 4 or 5 miles featured rollers, then a sharp uphill to get back on the main drag.  (No, I never got in the small chain ring.  I'm allergic.  Get over it).  On the way back, some quick math determined that if I didn't wuss out, I would go under 1:20 for my bike split.  Sweet.  Saw the banter on his way out about mile 22, gave him a big cheer, gunned the final descent and pulled into T2 for a final time of 1:19:12.  I was slightly bummed with the bike, as I felt I played way too safe the first portion of the bike and could have gone faster, but, live and learn.  I'll be back in 2020, bike course!

Run: 49:36 (7:52/mi)

We all know this is my favorite part.  I exited T2 and got out on the two loop run course, which, after the first mile that featured two bridges (one over and one under), a few steep uphills and switchbacks, I determined had been put together by a few drunken college students.  Since I still felt pretty drugged myself, you would think this wouldn't really bug me, but I think I had my fair share of 4 letter words.  We finally hit a nice trail about 1.5 miles in, where I saw the Outlaw heading back in (for the eventual sprint win!) and got a high five,  and Greg, who was looking strong despite not feeling great.  The run does a turn around over a bridge by the iconic Taughannock Falls, where of course there was a race photographer (I'll save you.  I had no good race pics here).  I turned around and headed back, then out again for the twofer.  At this point I was holding a 7:55-8:10 pace per mile, which is slow for me, but given the trail/rock and legit stair climbing combined with my lightheadedness, I honestly didn't care (should I rethink the title of this post?)  At mile 5 I saw The Banter heading back from his 5k, and he yelled out "come catch me!"  As I did the final turnaround I determined I was about a minute behind him, which is a tall order for one mile, but...fine.  I'll speed up.  From there, I was determined.  I have no recollection of the final mile (apparently I saw Marcus and Greg and waved) beyond the chant "Catch Banter.  Catch Banter".  I clocked mile 6 in 7:12, which was :45 seconds faster than any mile I had done yet.  I guess I did have that ego gear....
The vollies on the way back cheered me on, commenting that I looked like I could do this all day long.  Such awesome liars.  Even though I didn't catch The Banter (I finished about 20 seconds behind him, as the little shit was trying to hold me off.  There is actual footage of him before he crossed the finish line looking over his shoulder for me.  You better run, Gary!)  

I crossed the finish line in 2:41:xx, about 4 minutes off my PR, which, for the hilly course and the way I felt, wasn't too shabby.  

Post race, the Tri Go fam brought it in for a huge group hug - god I love these guys.  You can only see my feet here as I'm totally surrounded by my awesome training buddies - this may be one of my favorite pictures ever!

Marcus and I headed out for a cool down run and saw Greg and Maria in to the finish line - Greg hurt his foot after tripping on a root and twisting his ankle, but he finished super strong and I am so proud of him!  

We deck changed, grabbed some beers, played with the Banter's dogs, and assumed our natural post race shenanigans (um, something about our family being just a little bit country?  ....or maybe a little bit rock and roll.....)

We all hung around for the awards - for a good reason!  Matt ended up winning the aquabike, the outlaw won the sprint, the banter took 3rd age group for the sprint, and I came in 1st in my Age group for the Oly and almost made the podium (Rae, LEARN to bike!  WTF.  To be fair, 3rd place beat me out by 4 minutes so I can't really even be mad about it.  I had nothing in the tank, guys.  

The awards for both the overall placement and Age Group were triangular shaped pendants with Cayuga Lake Tri 2019 on them.  Since they couldn't possible fit that all on a one inch pendant, they abbreviated it "CLT 2019".  3 guys.  1 girl.  All with the humor of teenage boys.  We totally took it and ran with it.  

And of course, took a picture with our CLT (medals).  We obviously all have different ways of handling the CLT, and this pic probably also accurately sums up our group.  Yep.  It's like that.

For all intents and purposes, the Cayuga Lake Tri was a success - I'm ambivalent about my overall time and race, which is hilarious since it would have been a 7 minute PR if not for Tri in the Buff this year... but hey, I'm hungry.  All I need to do is get beyond the sickies, back in the saddle, and (well, now) 4 weeks till Barrelman!  Next up is the Finger Lakes Tri, Olympic Distance, on September 8th as a tune up prior to 2019's big dance!  Let's do it!

Two Steps Behind

So, here's the thing.  I did a race last weekend.  Not 4 days ago, but 11.  I know I "owe" a race report.  I've sat down several times to write it. I intend to write it.... and I will.

But right now... I don't want to.  Like most things I know are worth doing, it will happen, if only for the epic photos I have to share.....but I've been wholly uninspired to pull up the ole bloggy and give it my all...which seems to be a microcosm of a lot of things in my life lately.

I went out on a bike ride yesterday.  It 's a long ride that's been delayed for one reason or another for a good week - a 50 mile ride, outside at an "enjoy the ride" pace.  Not stressful, just requires planning, right? I was supposed to ride Monday.  Work intervened.  I was supposed to ride Sunday.  Parenting intervened.  Since Sunday in the tri world was last weeks training week.... it was my last weeks long ride that now got shifted to this week, which means technically I didn't ride long at all last week.  And because I raced the weekend before, that weekend too.  And because I transitioned to a new training plan the week before, that "long ride" was 30 miles.  And the week before that....well thank god, that was Musselman.  In case you got lost in that round about story (I would have) it's been almost a month since I've had a long ride.  Yesterday was the day to make it happen!

No it wasn't.  It was 75.  Gorgeous.  Slightly breezy.  My legs hurt because I'm a fool and did core fitness Tuesday I did a leg workout with my buddy that was totally worth it, but whatever.  I've done long rides with leg soreness.  It was windy as f*ck out, which scared the hell out of me I can deal with because I've been taught how to embrace the wind.  The cars were total shits and I had to slam on my brakes twice for idiots backing out of their driveways and not paying attention also enjoying the sunshine without a care on this gorgeous day.

I pulled out my ammo for when things don't go as planned.  I altered my route of one long out and back to two out and backs.  Then I ditched that idea and decided to make the 50 mile ride 8 6ish mile loops.  (Stop groaning.  This is my fix it box and I'm ok with it).  And then, as I was starting the second loop, I realized something.  I was not into this.  My body wasn't.  My head wasn't.  And most of all, my heart wasn't.  I was coasting downhill on Lakeside Rd, a pretty little side street, when I realized that my head was so foggy and I was so damned unpresent, that a motor home zoomed past me and I almost ended up in a ditch because I was paying absolutely no attention to what was going on around me.  I called the audible.  Pedaling back home, I was so out of it that I passed two streets that would have taken me right back to my start because...I was so out of it. I finally had the wherewithal to turn right at the third street.  My fifty miler became a sad 18 miler that left me annoyed, dejected, and frustrated.

I wish I could say this was the first workout I've felt this way with, but to be honest, the last two and a half weeks have been a complete struggle.  I feel like I have nothing to give - and that its all a huge effort to exert exert the easiest swim, bike or run.
I went for a walk after the failed ride and ended up at the lake.  For awhile I just sat, watching the waves crash up on the rocks, and tried to step back and figure out a way out of how I've been feeling.  I called my best friend and he let me just vent - all of it, without any judgment or "fix it". I'm pretty lucky that guy married me, come to think of it....

 I told him I felt like a dollar store puzzle - all the pieces are there, but right now they just don't fit together the way they are supposed to.  And even though they look good to the casual passerby, I know a hell of a lot better that they....just aren't right.

I think its a combination of things:  I've been training for one race or another with lots of intensity since December - first for a BQ in April, then a redemption BQ in May, then a month of wasted foot injury.... then for tri season.  I've also set the bar ridiculously high this season...with a string of early season PR's, including a dizzying marathon PR and an insane 70.3 PR, I've been drunk with success but also in a spot where I now have a crazy high expectation for myself.

 My "A" race of the season is 5 weeks away, and I have a huge pressure to not only do well in it, but since it's an "easier" course, I fully expect to set a new PR, which, when my 70.3 PR is one of those "how the hell did I even accomplish that" things, I have set the bar so crazy high that I'm starting to have many doubts about leaping over it.

Us triathletes.  We are such a silly bunch.  Once you add in the fact that I'm not a pro - and even if I was - wouldn't have the luxury of a nanny, sponsors, lack of a day job, or all the massages and perfect nutrition to boot (yeah, so I'm average Joe - you get it) that fitting in the training stresses and the mountain of life stress....well, its just not working.

I could do what most sane people would tell me to do.  Just ease up.  Stop training.  Take a break from racing.  It;s so simple, Rae.

No it's not.

This sport....no, scratch that.  Running....is so freeing.  To just abandon reality for awhile and pound the pavement without life hounding me is so epically wonderful, I could never give it up.  Swimming....is so cathartic.  Jumping into the lake, or a pool, and letting the water wash over me, is cleansing and therapeutic.  And (I said it!) cycling is also becoming a love.  To jump on my bike, feel the wind (at my back, while I'm wishing) and enjoy the beautiful lake roads I train and race on, is a such a blessing unto itself.

I could never give that up. Not even for a few days.

But maybe I need to revisit the beauty of it and stop putting so much pressure on myself. At least for a few days.  I am super conflicted.  I just hired a coach.  I'm riding on the tails of a season of awesomeness.  But to steal a line from a pretty great guy I know....it seems I have a case of the "blahs"....something I can't seem to shake. Luckily, I have a few people in my life that sense when the "Rae o meter" is off and will make the time to be there for me when I need it, even though I might be a damned train wreck.  You know who you are.  And you are the damned best friends a girl could ask for.

So, I'm gonna take a few days.  I won't roll over and play dead...that's not my style.  I actually went out for a run today - a beautiful, hilly 8 miler than had no pressure to exert any type of pace - just me, the rolling farmland, the sunshine, and my buddy Joe Elliot, Jr.  We rocked out to Hysteria, Love Bites, When Love and Hate Collide, and my new fave Two Steps Behind.

I wonder if they misspelled because to prove a point?

Cause thats how I feel. Right now I'm basically two steps behind the 8 ball with a lot of things and I'm playing catch up to get where I want to be.  I know I'll get there.  And that its totally ok to have these down times (I had one in May when I had my injury, and I bounced back from that one!).  But theres also wisdom in allowing yourself the space to not put pressure on doing all the things, all the times, at full tilt.  Especially not for things that for all intents and purposes, are supposed to be fun.

So, Barrelman.  Yeah, we are totally on for a hot date.  But for right now, I'll be two steps behind...just waiting for that magic in my soul to re-ignite.  Then, watch out.  I'll be back with a vengeance.