175

It's the number of dollars I spent this morning at 2am online when Biz was up for the 5th time.  Or the number of times my bestest sister cousin offered me wine at dinner yesterday (love ya Lise).  It's the number of Christmas cookies I plan to make (what's that, 15 dozen?  Maybe more....).

175.  Not really anything above, I was just teasing.  It's my short term goal.  The average person gains 5 pounds in the 5 weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.  That's roughly 35 slices of pie, 70 pieces of melt in your mouth fudge, or 150 Christmas cookies.  And while I intend to partake in all the holiday loveliness (95 cocktails, yes please!!), I have no designs of not fitting into my size 6's post 2016 (thank you Rob and Biz, for running us around ragged and helping me get in the best shape I've ever been in!)

So, 175...miles.  If the average 135 pound woman burns 100 calories per mile (yes and I'm 34,now you know all my secrets) then it will be roughly 175 miles to offset all that Christmas goodness.  Honestly?  It's more of a goal just to have one - I've been feeling super out of sorts post marathon, aimless.  This is a nice way to end the year on a high note, burn off some stress, some nestle, and to get through the holiday feelin' strong.

35(ish) miles per week.  37 days.  Day #1 - a nice 7 mile outdoor run on a Friday off, no stress, no Black Friday mess, no nothin but me and the mist and a lil Suicide Squad soundtrack in the background.

7 down.  168 to go.  Who's with me??

All the Love in the world

Happy Thanksgiving!  We are up bright and early here, kids playing, mom sipping hazelnut java....the perfect holiday morning (for at least 5 seconds) so I thought I would pop in and say hello!!  It's a day to be amazed at how wonderful your life really is (yeah, I threw in some Capra) and to be so thankful for those things that you often overlook in the rush rush of everyday living.  It's easy to just make an assumption that people really know how you feel about them - today is the day to give extra hugs and love, to spend time with those we cherish, and sure, why not, to throw some pie in there too.

We are lucky enough to have my in-laws with us this week (outlaws?) so today will be filled with a little extra love, snuggles, laughs, and crazy.  Greg and I plan to run a 10k together this morning, then spend the afternoon at our aunt's house, with all of our family - plenty of food, WINE, love, jokes, and imperfect perfections.  God I love my family.

Today I am so incredibly thankful for....

My kids.  I adore you Rob and Biz - even though I never sleep, i appreciate the opportunity to be your mom 24/7 - really, you're just making sure I get the full experience :-)  I love your crazy, your wonder, your adventure, and most of all, when you snuggle up against me super tight and love me up like no one else can.

My husband.  Through this crazy stretch of life's road we are on....I would rather "run" it with no one else.  God bless the broken road....that lead me straight to you.  I adore you.  (for 46 more years).

My mom.  No one else could ever take your place.  You are amazing, loving, and such a wonderful gramma to both your grandkids.  I truly couldn't do it without you.

My wonderful family.  Gruncle, Dad, GG, Karen, Tom, Kathy, Lisa, Lisa (not a typo!), Amy, Michelle, Howie,  Sue, Margie, Noah, John, Megan, Aunt Diana, Royer, Abby and anyone else I neglected in my 5am haze...I love you.  Our holidays, our every days.....truly are so special to me.  So blessed to have such a crazy amazing family.

My friends.  All of the old and the new....you have been there for me through thick and thin, through sleepless nights and mind hazy days....with wine, coffee, off color jokes and love.  I adore you!!!

My Mary Poppins.  I could not do it without you.  You are just simply supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  100% straight up amazed at how wonderful your presence and inclusion in our family has been.  You are stuck with us for life.

My insane co workers.  Through some pretty insane times in 2016....Jerry, Pam, Ryan and Sally.....you guys have been the best team I could ask for.  No other team I have been part of has cared so much not only about our work but about everyone as people.  You are the best "work family" I could ever ask for.  No poo about it.

It really is a wonderful life when you think about it.  I'm so thankful for my home.  Our neighborhood.  My ability to shuck all responsibility and go run for an hour...or 4.  My job.  Our

ability to pay the bills and put food on the table.

I am such a lucky woman.  I hope everyone else is truly as blessed as I am today.  I wish everyone the happiest and most wonderful day ever.  I am so thankful for you, my readers!

Now What?

Well, hi there.  I'm aware that its the norm that I am blogging once or twice a month.  Perhaps as the winter sets in, Ill start to write more....lately I just haven't had much to say.  Well, correction.  I've had a lot to say, but either 1) It comes to me during a run and I forgot by the time i have 10 minutes to write, or, 2) It has to do with politics, and, sadly, I've learned that hard way that if my opinion didn't match some of the people I was discussing the issues with, they got personally nasty.  Which is a shame.

Of course, the title of this post might imply I'm getting into some long winded discussion about "now what" for our country, now that Trump is president elect, but I'll save everyone some time.  My thoughts are this, in a nutshell:  1.  If you voted, good for you.  It was a hot button election with strong sides, and if you too a stand, I'm personally proud to call you friend, no matter what your stand was.  2.  It completely blows my mind how wrong the "experts" were in this election - while we were so busy looking at a few select groups, we forgot about the blue collar union worker in middle America, which, no matter how you slice it, had an opinion that was obviously heard.  3.  Again, I'm not dumb enough to try to legitimize my thoughts, cause, we all know that's not gonna fly in 2016 (Wait, what?) but even though I seriously question some of Trump's stances, I'm willing to give him a fair shot.  He is the president elect, and I'm of the mind that it's time to stand by it and give it our best go.  Until December 19th, of course :)

A new goal...naps.  I don't think my boss would approve :-)

But.  Enough soapboxing.  My post....is really about my life right now.  I ended 2016 season on a super high note (One more "fun" 15 mile trail race on the books but for all intents and purposes, the season is done) and now....I feel sort of out of my element.  I mean, I chased that goal for 5 freaking years...what now?  And all of these thoughts I have....BQ?  Sub 1:45 half?  5:30 Half Ironman?  Ironman 2017?  are sort of....fuzzy.  And while I feel in super great shape, I'm not terribly motivated to chase any of them right now.  Which is good, because neither is my body!  But....I've been training for so long this season (basically since December 2015) that I don't quite know what to do.  I took today off, to get some things done.  It was such a gorgeous day, that I HAD to run.  I thought about running to Webster.  I thought about doing a trail run (which I have to drive to get to the trail, so...no).  But...I did a nice easy 8 miler, mowed the lawn, cleaned the garage, deep cleaned downstairs, did laundry, and grocery shopped.  A productive day off but....I'm used to taking a day off to go run 20 miles.  Weird.

I know.  Set another goal.  I'm working on it.  While it's all good to say....how about a work goal, or a home goal, or a life goal....I can do that.  But I love having a physical challenge that takes my mind off of life.  That's the point.  Right now, I don't have to run to lose x amount of pounds (I actually am about 10 pounds under goal weight - yes - stop throwing cabbages).  So I do it for sanity.  For work stress relief.  To have some me time where I'm just Rae, not Mom, not Program Manager (Mister Manager?) or any other label in my life.  Just...me.  So what's next?  When I figure it out, I will surely let you know.

But right now, I'm sort of stumbling around in the fog (actually, in more than just running, but that's another story).  And it's a pretty sort of fog, where you admire the mystery and just go where it takes you, but it's still an aimless trip.  And that's about all I've got.  Stay tuned?