My new "Confessions"-Mommy Edition

Ahhh, and another sunny Sunday!  How has your weekend been?  Not too bad around casa Glaser-to say we have this thing figured out would be a big fat lie, but we are honestly stumbling around as best we can, and trying our best-enjoying 99% of the seconds :-)  With week two of maternity leave done, I thought I would round up a few of the "Mommy Life Lessons" I've learned in the last 16 days with my little guy...some were a shocker, some not.  I honestly feel like I've landed in an alternate universe (hello, Fringe fans) with a few base things the same...and the world totally normal for everyone else....but 180 degrees flipped for me!  I'm pretty sure that's normal..... :-)  Here we go....

Confessions of a New Mommy-The REAL Maternity Leave

1.  8 hours of sleep is a fallacy.  Who needs it?  I knew this one going in-and oddly enough, we seem to be managing  Granted, I NEVER expected to get alot of sleep.  Should I repeat that?  No Mommy judging from those that have been there, I'm just stating a fact, guys.  Which makes me wonder...did I ever really need 8 hours of sleep?  Or am I kidding myself that I am functioning on about 3 hours broken sleep each night.  Hmm.  Clearly, don't get me in a room and try to get the truth out of me about anything.  Or, if you've been dying to know what I really think of you, I guess....now is the time.  Just funnin'- I love you guys. 

2.  Co-sleeping is wonderful and sucky at the same time.  So.  We have a wonderful kiddo....who hates his crib.  The doc told us its okay to ease into it, and the swing/rocker is fine for sleeping now.  (I think the crib is just too darn big for our little 7 pounder).  So he sleeps in the swing.  Um.  Sometimes...during the day.  But at night, when he sleeps, he likes to sleep on mommy.  With his head pushed as far up into my throat as he can.  Aww, shuckers.  We are working on transitioning, and are about 50% successful, but my wise sources remind me you can't train a 2 week old, and they are right. So, on one hand, I LOVE sleeping with my little man on me.  There is nothing better in terms of bonding time, and I know I will miss it when he gets too big in like, 5 minutes.  But with that said....sometimes the best part of my day is between 8:30 and 10 when he sleeps in his swing and I can actually SLEEP.  Oh wait...who needs sleep?  Right :-P

3.  I am a damn milk machine.  This kiddo eats every 2 hours....this is not a complaint, again.  Actually, can I just say that this one time and we'll assume it's true for everything?  Not complaining.  Just noticing things.  Since Mr. Ro-bear came early, all the nurses were wondering if he would nurse okay, and had us keep track of his feedings and wet diapers.  Heh.  No issue there.  We change about 13-14 diapers a day, and kiddo nurses about 12 times-roughly every 2 hours.  I feel like a cow.  And I have a perma dent in the couch.  Really, I need to get some better books and DVR something better then Young and The Restless.  Oh, my poor child.  I'm scarring him for life already.  Seriously, though.  Think I can go through the first year with a perma kid attached to my chest without any stares?  Ah, well.  Better than the alternative!!


Wait, no tri training?  WHAT??

4.  I feel pretty unscathed from labor....but not myself yet.  The first week was pretty rough, but it's gotten relatively better.  I feel not pregnant for sure, but not quite back to myself.  I got lucky enough to escape the crappy parts of post partum...my shoes fit and I was spared some of the less than pleasant bathroom experiences for sure....but I still know that something invaded my body for 9 months, and my body knows it too.  I'm pretty sure kiddo isn't the only one who could use diapers.  Heh.  Sexy sexy.  And if one more doctor asks my what my contraception plan is post birth, I'm gonna scream.  HELLO.  Do you really think I feel like sexy time?  Um. No. 

5.  I'm not sure where the hours go-I feel like I'm strapped to a kiddo 24/7.  Oh wait, I am. That's what maternity leave is for, duh.  And we are having a blast.  But it sure puts everything else on the back burner...for a good reason.  Kiddo bonding and caring is the most important thing right now.  But you still wonder where time went at 4pm when you haven't showered yet and lunch was peanut butter crackers.  Oh right, see #3.  I need a better snack system :-P

6.  I have no sense of the hours of the day.  There is no morning, noon and night.  There is fussy time, sleepy time, dark time, pee time and shower time.  If the boss lets me.  Good thing he's a cute boss.  And he can't talk yet.

7.  I'm really not quite sure how to interact with adults anymore. I'm perma baby mode-in terms of language and pitch. I realized this at the grocery store yesterday when the clerk asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag and I responded with a sing songy..."nooo, thats okayyyy!"
What the hell am I going to do when I go back to work?  On the plus side, I am getting REALLY good at baby talk, singing lullabies (BNL counts...right?) and reading aloud.  Hey, it's never too early to start good habits, right?  No, I am NOT reading 50 shades to my baby.  Yes, someone asked me that.  Yeesh, people.  I'm not that twisted. 

8.  5 minutes for a shower, 30 minutes for a solo store run, an hour for a walk or light workout = heaven.    I never thought me time would mean so darn much to me.  It turns me from moo cow mommy to Rae, albeit for a short period of time.  Bless my husband for this. Bless him.

9. My son is the most handsome kiddo in the entire world.   I know this for a fact.  Don't even try to convince me otherwise.  And he is totally worth any sleep loss or moo cow tendencies....he is without a doubt, the most perfect thing Greg and I have ever imagined. We are so lucky that he picked us!