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Friday, June 21, 2013

Pregnancy Myths and Truths

So....it's almost D day.  one month from tomorrow, our little kiddo is due to make his or her grand appearance!  Yes, I realize that he or she could show up tomorrow.  Or in 6 weeks.  But dammit, kiddo, listen to your mom for once, please.  You need to stay baking for at least 10 more days....but no more than 31.  Capiesce?  Thank you very much.
As I round into the last month of pregnancy, I've been doing alot of thinking.  Like...did I used to be able to do child's pose and paint my toes?  Yeah, I think so...but I don't really remember.  Did I used to be able to sleep on my tummy?  I think so.  Pregnancy is funny.  The 9 months go by in a blink of an eye, but they also take FOREVER.  I miss my body being mine.  But I wouldn't trade it in for the world.  And now that I'm in the home stretch....I've been thinking alot about pregnancy myths and truths.  You know...all the things "they" said would happen during these 9 months....but....um...didn't.  I know everyone is different, but I can only speak for me....and here are some of the big ones that...are either waiting until week 36 to make an appearance....or....I'm weird.....or...they lied.  So let me tell you about these "What were they talking about?"  Pregnancy related things.....

1.  Eating for 2 and your appetite.  You'll be sooo hungry.  You're going to have massive cravings.  Um.  Lie, lie lie.  You know the last time I felt hungry?  Back in October, when I ran a half marathon.  Since then?  Nien.  Sometimes my tummy will growl, but that's my body's system of
being hungry.  Otherwise, I am seriously counting food to make sure I eat enough.  Stop throwing things at me.  I wish I could eat a whole garbage plate and blame it on the alien.  But there's not been too much room at the inn for alot of food, and while things sound good, there is no such thing as waking Greg up at 3am for a burning desire for a quarter pounder.  Don't mean to throw my fellow preggos under the bus, but I'm not convinced that there's a craving any more than during that time of month.

Kershaw Swim at almost 36 weeks!
2.  Cankles.  Not to tempt fate with the string of 90 degree days  coming up here, but even with hot weather, I've only had swelling once.  after a 16 hour day and a flight from DC.  Where I walked 5 miles before 8am.  In wedges.  So....I think I must be lucky on this one, and also my obsession with swimming helps.  I've been swimming at least 3 times a week since trimester 1, which I fraking love anyways (yes, Russ, I can be taught!) but also seems to make the swelling go down from water pessure.  I'll get back to ya next week if that one doesn't hold true. 

3.  Constipation.  Yeah, I went there.  Seriously, maybe for one day.  But I've kept up the fruit and
veggie habbit, along with some great whole grains with dinner, and I'm pretty regular.  Without getting too graphic here, I think I got more plugged up the week before Ironman with a low fiber diet.  I'll take it.  I also haven't had any of the nasty "h" word either.  Whew.

4.  Raging Emotions.  Of the PMS variety.  I broke down once (last week), and told Greg to just go with it, but to let me know later if I was being unreasonable.  The smart man took it, but 48 hours later when it was all fixed and I was calm, told me that it had nothing to do with my belly or hormones and that I was totally right.  Which means he is ether - waiting until this baby is out of me before tempting fate, or he was telling thr truth.  I'm preferring to go with option A, but again, I'll keep you posted :-P

5.  The belly bump is round.  It's not!!  The last 3 times I've been to the docs, they tell me how clearly they can see baby g....which is freaky, but true.  I can really tell where the baby is nestled, which makes me feel like I have a sling across my tummy with a kiddo wrapped in a layer of skin.  Weird.  But totally healthy, I'm told. 

So, what's been ringing true?  I won't pretend sliging around another human being is all roses.  It's not.  I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are a few things "they" said would happen....that happened.  Here goes...

1.  Exhaustion.  I think they are prepping me for the baby.  Especially from the last month on....though the thought of running 10 miles or biking more than 20 just makes me laugh...did I used to do that???  But seriously, 8pm is couch time.  1pm if I had my way.  I can't manage to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time and there is NO comfortable position to sleep in.  I've tried pillows, blanket arrangements, body pillows....no dice.  I seem to conk out best semi reclined on the couch.  My husband just loves that.  Clearly, he sleeps well when we sleep in the same bed.  Not so much.

2.  Stress Overload - I definitely have less of a penchant for people's bull hockey lately.  It takes less
Source
to press my buttons.  But it feels kinds good....like I have a built in excuse.  Right?  Right.  Or not.  But I haven't milked this pregnancy for much, so dammit, I will.  Now stop being annoying.  And no, I won't do your job/errands/chores for you.  Thank you and go away.  (I'm kidding.  I love you guys.  Wait, what hormones???)

3.  Panic Mode- My mother used to say I didn't come with an instruction manual.  I thought she was right, but then they came out with "What to Expect While You're Expecting"...and you should be all set, right?  Hah!  You'd think that after a zillion years of birthing, we would have it figured out, but there are so many steps they don't tell you about.  Like making a will.  Or adding the baby to your insurance.  Doctor interviews.  Prepping your pet for baby.  What you really need for the nursery, and whats crap.  Signing up for product recalls.  Daycare shopping.  Oiy.  I'm missing a few zillion things, but I sometimes have issues keeping my life in order.  How am I going to manage another human being?  Panic onset.  Then I calm the hell down and remember that zillions of parents have done it, and dammit, so can we.

So...I'm sure there's more, but there are my two cents for today.  One month to go.....should be interesting to see if any of these myths reverse (I sure hope not....knock on wood!)

What was true and what was not so true for your pregnancy?

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